Ow!
Oh!
Ugh!
As you can see, I'm pretty much an expert
at this middle school thing.
Incoming! Official hall monitor business!
Like I said, no surprises for this guy.
Whoa!
Oh, that's a surprise.
[shivering]
Whoa. Whoa. [grunting]
[shivering]
Hey, w-why is it so c-c-cold in here today?
And how did that pigeon in a tuxedo get in here?
I hear this happens right before the Yetis take over.
Oh, my gosh, they already got Andrew!
[gasping]
Good morning, kids.
Hope you're enjoying the cooler temperature.
As Astrid Bjorklundson says... "Temperatures as cold as ice
will help the children learn real nice."
Who is this Bjorklundson character anyway?
She's a leading education specialist from Sweden.
And she has the coolest glasses. Check her out.
My patented Astrid Method has improved student performance
in over 50 countries.
I not only preach the Astrid Method,
I practice it myself.
Brr! Thanks to that icy plunge, I just got ten new ideas!
Hej då!
Soon enough, you kids will be the top students
in all of Southeast Michigan!
I can see you're all shaking with excitement.
[shivering]
And just a heads-up,
from now on school will start at six a.m. for mindful yoga.
To aid the student's aspirations,
begin the day with meditations.
Whoop. Hoop la. Astrid Power Pose!
Fun, right? Hej då!
I can't start school that early.
I need two hours in the morning to deep-condition my fiery mane.
[thudding]
[screaming]
Hey! Give that back!
[shivering]
How are we supposed to focus
when our brains are frozen solid?
At least Pizza Wednesday will help warm us up.
[grunting, thudding]
That's definitely not pepperoni.
Chef Patricia, I feel like this must be a culinary mistake.
Nope. School's on the new Astrid Meal Plan now.
Monday, salted cod; Tuesday, salted herring;
Wednesday, well, you get the idea.
Why are we eating so much fish?
Astrid says it's brain food. And I quote.
"If for a test you are crammin', have a plate of salted salmon."
Huh, what's this strap for?
Another one of Fish Lady's big ideas.
You have to take gym class while you eat.
Huh?
[whistling]
Faster! And keep eating!
"Combining lunch with moderate cardio gets
the brain working extra hard-io!"
[grunting]
[screaming]
[grunting]
You guys, all these changes are ruining our lives.
We have to get the school back the way it was.
Meryl, we'd like to speak with Principal Ramirez
about her new Astrid Method. It's urgent.
Oh, thank goodness.
Her changes are more annoying than a skeeter in your bloomers.
She's messed up your life too?
Yes, ma'am.
Can y'all believe Astrid said potty breaks are disruptive
to administrative work? Now I gotta sit on this all day.
Ugh!
Oh, Principal Ramirez.
We have a slideshow we'd like to show you
on why the Astrid Method isn't working.
Lincoln, I need to go buy
a whole bunch of bamboo yoga mats.
I don't have time for your usual 20,000 slides.
But we trimmed it down
to a very bladder friendly 10,000.
Listen, I know change is hard. But as Astrid says,
"Present pain leads to future gain."
Someday you'll all be thanking me
in your Nobel Prize acceptance speeches.
Fat chance. If I don't thank Mee-Maw,
I'll be sleepin' in the barn.
We can't give up.
There's gotta be a way to convince Principal Ramirez.
I don't know how.
The only person she listens to is Astrid.
Clyde, you might be onto something.
Let's see your outfit, Stella. Oops, I mean Astrid.
If some fooling is what you're needin',
just pretend that you're from Sweden.
Hej då.
Brilliant! But I'm not sure
you've completely nailed the look.
Hmm. [gasping]
Color those glasses red and you're a perfect match.
Yeah, totally. You look just like her. But...
[sniffing] Ugh, Stella, you need a bath.
You smell like sardines.