- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers.
Welcome back.
So, have you ever dated anyone?
If you haven't,
you may be thinking this is uncommon as compared to others,
but just because someone has dated
many people does not make them a relationship expert.
It just means they have more experience.
And experience doesn't always mean you'll have better odds
at a successful relationship.
Compatibility is one of the key ingredients
to a healthy relationship.
So, many may ask you,
"Why haven't you dated
so you can find your compatible match?"
Well, you have your reasons.
One, you know what you want.
You know exactly what you want in a partner
because you've experienced other types
of healthy relationships that set a good example.
It's not that you have incredibly high expectations,
or maybe you do, but many people simply know what they want
and aren't surrounded by the type of people they feel
they'd be compatible with for all sorts of reasons.
Maybe you're a homebody.
Maybe you want someone who likes certain things
and hold certain values,
but you're never around those types of people.
If you desire romance,
find a way to reach out to groups or communities
that do hold your values and interests and join them.
You never know when you might meet someone you'd match with.
Number two, you don't know how to flirt.
Many people are extremely shy.
Some are just extremely introverted
and don't seek as much social interaction.
But a lot of individuals simply don't know
where to begin with flirting.
Romance can be complicated.
What if you can't pick up on social cues
that make it obvious someone is flirting with you?
Or what if your version of flirting appears awkward
or bizarre?
Best advice, practice makes perfect.
And when in doubt,
it's a good idea to simply put yourself out there
and flat out ask if the other party is interested
if flirting fails.
A simple,
"Would you like to go out on a date with me?"
is better than nothing.
Number three, you've experienced trauma.
A reason many don't date is that of trauma.
Emotional or physical trauma can have a lifelong impact
on you, and unhealed trauma can cause you
to avoid certain situations if you don't have to be in them.
Healing from trauma can take time,
but you should also seek out help
from a mental health professional or counselor
if trauma is blocking you from doing the things
that you want to do.
Number four, you're guarding your heart.
A lot of people who have never dated before tend
to guard their feelings.
They may not want to open up and become vulnerable
as dating can require.
Past trauma can come into play with this,
or simply situations and experiences you've been through
where you've been let down in the past.
But if you know you want to experience romance,
you'll have to confront the idea
that you'll have to open up your heart at a point.
How can we really get to know someone
if we're not vulnerable and true to ourselves?
If you do get let down,
one way to look at it is gaining new life experience.
Many people suffer from heartbreak,
it's a part of life that many go through.
If you take the risk, it may be worth it.
Number five, you're a late bloomer.
One reason you haven't wanted to date,
you simply don't want to,
and that's totally fine.
You shouldn't be rushed
or feel the need to date out of pressure.
It should be dependent on when you feel ready
and it should ultimately be your choice.
Love and attraction can be a bit hectic though at first,
so it's best to know the difference
between being uncomfortable out of fear
of something you want, and simply not being ready.
If you're uncomfortable due to failed attempts
at flirting or anxiety,
know that sometimes it's worth the risk
to face your fears and do something that's uncomfortable.
The reward can be life-changing.
Number six, you've been too busy.
You're a full-time student.
You have two jobs and a pile of homework to complete.
No wonder you haven't dated anyone.
Can anyone blame you?
It's not that you don't want to date,
it's just that you don't have any free time.
When you can schedule time for self-love and social outings,
you'll feel less stressed,
and likely balance your mental health.
Number seven, you don't get out much.
Do you spend your days indoors enjoying the splendors
of alone time?
You like to work out of the office,
talk to your friends on the phone,
and enjoy your hobbies from the comfort of your home.
Ooh, that kind of rhymed.
Okay, so you may enjoy dating,
but you simply don't have the drive
to get out of the house and meet people.
If you are ready to meet new people,
try to explore new activities outside of your home.
Join communities online,
or meet others and socialize through social media.
Just make sure they're a real person
and don't get into an ice cream truck.
And finally, number eight,
you're focused on yourself.
Many who have never dated before simply don't desire someone
to join their lives
because they're too focused on themselves.
They have serious goals and commitments
that make dating nearly impossible,
or they're working on their self-love
before they bring someone new into their lives.
One of the most important things you can practice
in life is self-love.
If you love yourself,
you may just become ready to love someone else as much,
or at least date them first.
So, have you dated someone before,
or maybe you're dating someone new to dating?
It's best to simply ask them why if you're curious.
And if you clicked this video
because you are now ready to date,
know that age is just a number
and your true match won't care
if you haven't dated anyone before.
If there's someone you like,
get out of your comfort zone and ask them.
If your poorly executed pick up lines fail,
please just ask them.
If you found this video helpful,
don't forget to click the like button
and share this video with someone who might need it.
Subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon
for more content like this and,
as always, thanks for watching.