There is so much going on right now, so much
going on this week.
Chicago has a new mayor.
RFK, Jr. is running for president.
And the Tampa Bay Rays are undefeated.
The Tampa Bay Rays.
You know what?
Good for the Rays.
You know they pay their players in Burger King.
Did you know that?
[laughter]
But if there's one thing I love more than baseball, it's food.
And if there's one thing I love more than food,
it's food lawsuits.
REPORTER: This morning it's a battle of the bowls.
Chipotle Mexican Grill filing a lawsuit in California
against salad chain Sweetgreen, alleging Sweetgreen's
new Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bowl
violates Chipotle's trademark rights.
Chipotle claiming Sweetgreen's very similar and directly
competitive bowl is an attempt to capitalize on their brand,
arguing the competitor's ad uses the same font and style
as Chipotle's branding and features
a similar color to their trademarked Adobo Red.
REPORTER: Chipotle says Sweetgreen should change
the name of its new bowl by one, putting the word
chipotle in lowercase and renaming it as a Chicken
Bowl with Chipotle.
[laughter]
That's right.
The two whitest restaurants in America
are fighting over who gets to use a Mexican word.
[laughter]
And, honestly-- honestly, what the hell
is Chipotle mad about?
You named yourself after a seasoning.
That's on you, playboy.
And, honestly, both these companies
need to get sued just for using the word burrito bowl.
If it ain't wrapped up, it ain't a burrito!
Stop-- stop it!
[cheering]
It's just shit in a bowl.
You put your shit in a bowl and you go,
oh, this is our burrito bowl.
Bitch, that's dried chili.
Would you like to try our all-new
PB and J sandwich bowl?
Sorry, did I say I wanted pudding?
I could've sworn I wanted a sandwich.
Moving on to a big story today, one
of America's Supreme Court justices
is in a major corruption scandal.
And you'll never guess who.
OK, it's Clarence Thomas.
[laughter]
But you'll never guess what.
A simply blockbuster, bombshell report.
Get this.
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas
did not disclose luxury trips around the world
worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
REPORTER: ProPublica says Justice Thomas has for years
accepted free charter jet flights and stays
on a yacht and luxury resorts from real estate
developer Harlan Crow.
Crow is a conservative mega-donor.
Crow tells ProPublica he's never
tried to influence the justice on legal or political issues.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm sure.
No, no. Hang on.
No, no.
I'm sure this billionaire Republican didn't
want to influence nobody.
He just-- no, no.
He-- no.
He just wanted to go on vacation with Clarence Thomas,
you know, because we all know that Clarence Thomas
is clearly a bag of fun.
[laughter]
Just be straight up.
Who wouldn't want to pull up on Miami Beach with old CT?
[laughter]
Come on, Clarence.
We're doing tequila shots.
Mm, Clarence love tequila shots.
[laughter]
I don't know why I made him sound like Slingblade.
Here's my question.
If you're going to buy a Supreme Court justice,
why would you spend all that money
on luxury yachts and planes for Clarence Thomas?
You could have bought Brett Kavanaugh
for a bottle of Jager and a Southwest boarding pass.
[laughter]
This is the better deal.
Boarding group B. Let's move on to sports now.
Earlier this week, we told you how
LSU beat Iowa in the Women's NCAA Basketball Championship.
And there was some epic trash talk this week between Angel
Reese and Caitlin Clark.
And tempers have been bubbling all week.
But, finally-- finally, a peacemaker has emerged.
REPORTER: Did First Lady Jill Biden get so excited
about the Women's Basketball Championship Game,
she put her foot in her mouth?
As she celebrated LSU's victory over Iowa,
Dr. Jill suggested both teams come to the White House.
So I know we'll have the champions
come to the White House.
We always do.
So we'll have LSU come.
But you know what?
I'm going to tell Joe I think Iowa should come too.
Because they played such a good game.
Yes.
No, you're wrong.
She's talking about peace and unity, y'all.
Why shouldn't the losers be standing
proud with the winners?
[laughter]
Come on, Jill Biden.
You're trying to turn the White House
into a participation trophy.
Nobody likes participation trophies.
Even the kids don't like participation trophies.
Nobody-- nobody's ever came home
after school after the big game with they
trophy like, yo, check it out.
I struck out 12 times.
[laughter]
For more on this story, we turn to Desi Lydic.
Desi.
[cheering]
How you doing, Desi?
Thank you.
Good to see you.
Now, Desi, we've been talking about this story
around the building all week.
And I know you'll agree with me.
The whole thing-- the whole thing
on this issue comes down to one word, and that word is--
Racism.
--sexism.
[laughter]
I'm sorry, but you think-- you think this is racism?
Roy, I know racism when I see it.
And this is textbook racism.
A mostly white team getting an invite to the White House
for losing is white privilege at its most insidious.
[cheering]
If I may quote Malcolm X--
No, you-- no, no, no, no, no.
You may not.
You may not quote Malcolm X.
Got it.
I hear what you're saying, Desi.
But this is clearly sexism.
This offer-- this would have never
happened in men's sports.
But women are expected to get along
and to share the prize simply because they're women.
If I could quote the great Gloria Steinem--
Nope.
[laughter]
Nope.
Look, Roy, it is racist to honor white losers
the same as Black winners.
Trust me.
I have a unique perspective on race
as a person talking to a Black man right now.
[laughter]
Desi, let me explain to you how internalized sexism works.
Let me explain sexism to you.
Careful now.
Dr. Jill Biden treated these adult women
like a bunch of high schoolers who
all had to be invited to the slumber party no matter what.
It's not what you do.
And I know what I'm talking about
because I watched Handmaiden's Tale a couple seasons.
[laughter]
That's the name of it.
Is it Handmaid's or Handmaiden's Tale?
Which one is it?
I don't know.
I only watch Atlanta.
[laughter]
Look, whether it's racism or sexism--
and it's racism--
I think we can both agree on two things.
One, I know all the lyrics to "Gangsta's Paradise."
And, two, this was not Jill Biden's finest moment.
Yes.
Dr. Jill Biden.
Yes, yes.
Dr. Jill Biden made a mistake.
Maybe next year the White House should have Vice President
Kamala Harris extend the invite,
you know, another strong woman.
A strong Black woman.
Who made US herstory.
Not to mention she knows how to kick it at the cookout.
Know what I mean?
[laughter]
That's right, girlboss.
Yeah.
Yeah, give it all.
[laughter]
Desi Lydic, everybody.