I have spent so long writing women,
that now that I have to write a straight man,
this is like, completely new territory for me.
[intro music]
This video is sponsored by Squarespace,
the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence
and run your business.
Squarespace is a fantastic platform
because it gives you tons of beautiful design templates
for pretty much any kind of website you want.
Whether it's a podcast or an online shop,
they pretty much have it all.
They have tons of functionalities that allow you to collect donations,
email campaigns, social sharing, blogging tools,
and they even have integrated analytics
so that you can see what content leads to higher engagement.
If you're interested in trying out, you can get a free trial,
and then when you're ready to buy your first website or domain
you can go to squarespace.com/readwithcindy
and use my code READWITHCINDY to get 10% off.
Now onto the video.
[Music: Pink - Exit 27]
It has been a while since I have done a writing vlog.
One way that I am going to attempt to frame it
is beyond just sharing updates from my novel,
which I think can get pretty boring and self-indulgent,
I can also share some learnings from taking Maggie Stiefvater's seminar.
Maggie is an author most famously known for
writing the Raven cycle, which is a very popular YA fantasy series.
I too am writing a YA fantasy story,
and I saw that she had a seminar and it was like 50% off,
so I went ahead and purchased it for $25.
There's tons of videos in the seminar, it's eight hours in total,
and I have been very, very slowly working my way through it.
I will be sharing my thoughts and my learnings from the seminar
as I make my way through the videos.
I won't go through every single thing that she says,
because I think that would be a rip-off to her,
if I just exposed all of her secrets.
I'm just gonna share very small tidbits
and if you're interested in seeing the full thing,
you can check out her class yourself.
It's interesting to hear other authors' ideologies
when it comes to writing a book,
because I feel like I am continuously forming my own ideologies
writing my own story, one of which is
I definitely do not like writing.
There are some authors who just love the craft of it.
I hate that shit.
I have every moment of writing, I take no joy in the process whatsoever.
But the reason why I keep on writing
and why I have been writing almost every day for the past year
is because I really like the story.
The story is something that's very personal to me.
With that in mind, I think it's interesting
how in the first video she says:
You should write for your audience and not for yourself.
She does put a disclaimer in the beginning of her seminar
that her advice is not something that should be taken as truth.
Maybe you're not gonna follow everything that she says,
maybe you disagree with what she says,
it's just whatever has worked for her.
She's speaking from the perspective of a commercial writer,
where she is essentially writing to sell books.
She knows the demographic that she wants to sell in,
which is young adult,
she knows the kind of stories that will resonate with that audience,
and that's what she's tailoring the story to be for.
But I think, personally for me,
I feel like I need to focus on writing for myself primarily.
I'm the motherfucking audience here.
It's written by me and for me.
Does that mean it's gonna be self-indulgent?
Probably. But it is that way,
because I want to write about something that I care about
and something that I would have wanted to read in a book
when I was a young adult.
It is based very heavily on my mental health and my depression.
So, even though I dread this shit and I hate the process,
I care enough to want to do it anyway
because this is written for me.
This book is really just me figuring my shit out
while I am spiraling during this panini,
and if other people resonate with it, that's great!
But if other people don't,
if other people don't find it to be a good story,
or they think it's cheesy or self-indulgent or badly-written
or whatever, I think I would be okay with that
if I knew this was never written for them.
So, I think that's a way for me to avoid seeking external validation
when it comes to writing the story,
because I know that the primary purpose was just for me.
I do understand the point of her advice, though,
because it is really good to know your audience
before you embark on your story.
That way you're not writing just some weird conglomeration of a story,
and it's more focused on the type of audience
that you really want to resonate with.
And I do think there's gonna be an audience for my book,
and that's probably just gonna be depressed bitches.
The audience is basically gonna be people like me,
who are fucking depressed and are trying to seek escapism
through a fictional world. I'm sure there's tons of people like that.
So if you're also a depressed bitch, we can go on this ride together.
Now I'm gonna go ahead and continue cranking through my novel
and just trying to survive life.
It is Saturday morning
and I actually have to make a necessary trip to San Francisco.
Why is it necessary, you ask?
Because after almost a year of COVID regulations,
my library has finally decided enough is enough,
and I owe every single library book that I have borrowed
and needs to be returned to them this weekend.
Hence why I have a suitcase that only has one change of clothes,
and a bunch of books.
So, let me take you all to San Francisco, so that I don't get fined.
[Music: Joy Ride - Aves]
Alright, give me the tour!
Ellias: Hello! Welcome to my humble abode.
This is the foyer. We have our non-existent shoe rack.
Cindy: Very minimalist.
Ellias: Over here, I guess we'll take you to the kitchen.
We have... dining table, I think it's from Ikea.
Couple of mismatched chairs to set the mood.
Garbage can. This is Walter, from Ikea.
This is the kitchen. I've made at least, like,
probably three or four meals in here, which is pretty nice.
This is the living room area, right from Ikea, coffee table thrifted.
Ellias: That's from... Cindy: Ooh! I really like the plant!
E: Yeah, this one, I actually made my first
Facebook Marketplace purchase.
E: It's West Elm. C: What is this? A lamp for the plant?
E: No, this is like, our LED lights for the living room when it gets dark.
C: Oh! Cool!
E: Cause there's no overhead lights
for this particular section of the apartment.
I guess we can show you the bathroom.
This is where I do manly things.
Welcome to the room.
[Music: Joy Ride - Aves]
Is it worth it to get, like, shots from above that are looking down?
See, it's looking down on me. You know what I mean?
E: Do you like it viewing down?
E: You like it when someone looks down on you? [both laugh]
C: Yes, I do prefer to be on the bottom,
if you're asking.
I actually do, though. But, anyway...
I am finally done with that really long chapter that I wrote
that I'm probably gonna have to split into two chapters.
It was like the climax scene
for the timeline that I've been stuck writing in.
This means that I have two chapters left to write.
So I'm gonna be focusing on that this weekend.
I blasted through a bunch of Maggie's videos last night
while I was packing to go visit Ellias.
What I found was interesting
was that whenever she thinks about how she's gonna frame a story,
she's thinking about it based on
the kind of camera that she uses to tell the story.
So, a quote she says is:
"I don't mean point of view, although I might have an inkling
of who I'm interested in following at this point,
depending on how the idea came to me.
I mean that it's time for me to decide which facet of the idea
I'm interested in focusing on.
The right story is the one that explores the elements
of the premise that fascinate you."
When I first started the story, it was really just limited
from the perspective of the main character.
My decision to write two timelines,
one in present day and one in the past from 100 years ago,
where you're seeing other perspectives
that you wouldn't have seen in present day,
has really expanded the world.
But also, I think it's made the themes a lot stronger, because
even though I like writing my main character,
she does have a very limited perspective
where she hasn't experienced all the shit that went down 100 years ago.
So she doesn't know all the emotional stakes
that came along with it.
Maggie also points out that she is finding a common issue
that a lot of aspiring writers have.
Their main characters are very passive.
They tend to just go through the story and have things happen to them.
But they don't actually make a lot of decisions that drive the story.
I feel like it's a really good gut check
to make sure if your characters are actually being active.
I have mixed feelings about that when it comes to my story
because, again, without revealing too much of what's going on,
the characters are essentially running away from something.
They are running away from things that are both physical and abstract.
Because they're trying to avoid something,
that means they're not active characters.
There are things that happen where they will have to confront it,
but they are deliberately trying to avoid it.
And it's hard for me to make them try to be an active character
because the whole point of this story is avoidance in the first place.
Because avoidance is a very common reaction
that we have whenever we are depressed.
I guess I'm trying to figure out what's the balance
between active and passive, because I feel like the concrete storyline
where the main character is trying to find this treasure,
is something that's more of an active situation on her part.
But, on the other hand, the underlying storyline,
which is more abstract, is essentially them
hiding from something, but then that's more of a passive role.
So I guess I'm trying to figure out if that's a compelling story or not.
I hope it is, because if it's not, then I'm gonna be screwed.
I'm pretty sure a lot of things will change.
Any kind of bullshit that I say in these vlogs
is just bullshit. Like, we don't know if it's actually gonna make it
to the final product.
It would be interesting to look back on all of these
and see exactly how much changes.
I'm gonna work on a little bit more writing tonight,
maybe watch a few more videos, and then I will update you tomorrow.
[Music: i love you pt 2 - Panthurr]
Cindy: Oh my god, baby Ellias! Ellias: What do you mean?
Ellias: Ew! Cindy: [laughs]
Ellias: Ew!
Ellias: So ugly! I was 18. Cindy: [laughs]
Cindy: Show yours and then I'll show mine.
Ellias: So ugly, I can't even. Glow up!
Ellias: Oh my god! [laughs] Cindy: Glow down! [laughs]
The reason why mine looks good
was because we were able to submit our own photos,
so I literally stood in front of a white wall and photoshopped the shit out of it.
This picture is literally me like, before all my trauma.
Ellias: She looks so happy, she didn't know what was coming.
Cindy: Oh my gosh.
Back again with another writing update.
I am currently in the middle of writing the last chapter for this timeline.
This feels like I'm getting super close to the end,
but it doesn't actually feel that way
because I have just been trudging my way
and writing very slowly.
I think it's because this chapter is from the perspective
of a character who I haven't written their perspective for.
He is a prince, and you have already seen him
from the beginning of the story, you just only have seen him
from the main character's point of view.
This is the first time that I am actually writing it
from his perspective. And actually, now that I think about it,
this is the only man that I've written a perspective for.
So I'm like, oh my god, what are men?
I have spent so long writing women,
that now that I have to write a straight man,
this is like, completely new territory for me.
This writing update is actually very fitting
because the most recent videos I have watched from Maggies' seminar
are videos where she has been talking about character.
One of the points that she makes
in relation to the earlier metaphor she was making about camera and lens
is: don't let yourself just default to a camera.
Ask yourself: why these people? Why no one else?
Is it because it is truly the best way to look at your story?
Or is it because it's the most obvious?
I know, for me, the reason why this chapter that I'm writing
has to be told from the prince's perspective
is really just a way to explain how certain events have happened.
But, the reason why I find it difficult to write him
as opposed to all the other characters that I have been writing for
is that he is not meant to be the camera for the story.
That's why he's not the main character.
And the funny thing is: the prince in this story
would have been easily the main character for any other story
because he is what you would see as a hero.
He's a very active character,
he is very passionate about doing what's right,
he has a person that he loves and is super loyal to,
so he's gonna be brave and ambitious and try to fight for her.
But he's not the main character because I didn't want to tell his story.
I wanted to tell a different kind of story.
I want to tell a story from characters who are not quite as ambitious or active.
If anything, they're cowardly and passive,
and they're afraid and they wanna run away from everything
and they're not the heroes.
And now that I am switching gears into this more stereotypical hero
it doesn't feel as natural to me, because his character
is kind of the antithesis of the themes I'm going for in this story.
I will be very curious if the final prince
ends up keeping any of his perspectives at all.
I had his perspective for this last chapter
because I needed him to be able to explain
how certain plot points have happened.
But other than that, honestly, I'm not interested in his perspective.
Right now I think his perspective is necessary for the story,
but who's to say what I'll think in the future?
I guess we'll see.
[Music: Weekend Getaway - Montythehokage]
Alright, I am going to conclude this writing vlog
because I have finally finished one timeline
[laughs] out of the two timelines of my book.
All the flashback chapters are done for now, thank God
and I am currently working on
the chapters that take place in present day.
However, I have a very worrying discovery.
The word count for all of the chapters within the first timeline,
which is half of the book, is 100.000 words.
Which means that half of the book is already 100.000 words.
This is terrible news to me
because that means I'm gonna have to shorten my story dramatically
because I am not trying to publish 200K word novel.
Nobody would read that shit. That's way too long.
But I don't know what to cut out, because
each chapter is important to the story.
I fear that cutting any of the chapters out
will make it seem like there's not enough character development
or things are too sudden.
I'm gonna try not to stress out over it
and just focus on finishing the rest of the book,
and once I am done with that I will focus on cutting out a lot.
Now, in terms of lessons from Maggie Stiefvater's seminar,
I wrote down some notes that I thought were interesting.
She talks about writing from the top down.
And she says that theoretically a final book works on all these levels:
book level, sequence level, chapter level, paragraph level.
And when you fall to perfection, you write to those final levels
where you're scrutinizing every paragraph or every sentence,
when you are way too early on a novel
to even be worrying about that kind of stuff.
It's really easy to get stuck in the opening of your novel
or the pacing of a single chapter,
but it's important to just be aware of where you are in the process
so that you know what really to focus on.
I really agree with that because what I'm learning
just from tackling this novel is that it's such a big project,
there's so many levels and layers to the story that I'm writing
and honestly my story, in my opinion, is not even complicated
and already it feels like I have so many things to juggle.
But I'm trying to move on with it as efficiently as I can.
Now that I am jumping into the present day timeline,
what I did first is I read through the timeline of 100 years ago,
so that I could refresh my memory of what happened,
so that it can inform what happens in present day.
What was really important for me while I was reading it through
was that I only inserted notes of what I needed to revise in the future
from a chapter level when I go back to revising that.
I held back from revising it at the moment
because I knew it wasn't time for that yet.
If I get stuck in the timeline of 100 years ago,
I'm never gonna write the present day chapters,
which are the main part of the story.
So I really had to look at the bigger picture of the book,
rather than get stuck in the small things.
So, yeah, that's pretty much my update for my novel.
This is actually gonna be the last time that you'll see me in this house,
because in my next writing vlog I will be in my new apartment.
I'll show you the new place I'm living in San Francisco
and I will give you some updates on how my writing is going
for the present day timeline, which, I can tell you right now,
I feel like it's a lot more fun than these flashback chapters
because this is like the main story that I'm finally writing now.
I've gotten all the groundwork done already in this past timeline
and now I can finally see
everything that is happening in present day
that was influenced by the past.
Maybe I'll give even more updates on Maggie's seminar as well,
if anyone is interested.
See you later! Or not, if you un-subscribe.
Hope you do.
Goodbye!
[Music: Weekend Getaway - Montythehokage]