Hello, I'm German and I bet you a CD that you use a door to enter your house.
"Pets"
Last week I asked you to vote for this week's topic.
And this week's topic is:
I don't know why I do this if it already says in the title of the video.
Just do it, it's just to give it a little bit of feeling.
Pets.
It won for a difference of 120.000 votes.
Against 100.000 for "Neighbors".
Neighbor!, what do you think about that?!.
But I wanted to be popular!.
Poor neighbor.
So this week's topic is Pets.
Or animals or whatever.
Animals are very similar to us.
More than you think.
Animals sleep,
and we do too!.
Animals eat and we do too.
Animals clean their butt with their tongue,
and we do too!.
No?, you don't do that?.
Toilet paper?.
And why didn't anybody tell me that existed?!.
Do you know how hard it is to flex to reach your ass with your tongue?!.
Ok, we're not THAT similar.
And it's alright, because animals do certain things,
that wouldn't look so good on us.
For example, our way of greeting.
We say hello like this:
"Hello, nice to meet you".
But not dogs.
To say hello, dogs smell each other's butt.
Can you imagine if we did that?.
I'm telling you, you don't have to lick your ass, that's what toilet paper is for.
No, I didn't know either.
Hello, Garmendia.
Hi, boss.
How are you, boss?, how's the family?.
Very good thank you, although the doctor said that little Fernanda is a bit-
Sorry.
It would be strange.
Stranger than me uploading a video on time.
Weirder than an honest politician.
Stranger than 2 chinese people who don't look alike.
Well.
As you know, I have many dogs.
4 of my dogs live with my mom,
and 2 of them live here with me.
The powerful and sensual Mimi.
And the hairy and bisexual, Noah.
And those 2 pretty little things.
Poop like there's no tomorrow.
They shit everything.
How can something so smelly come out of something so pretty?.
Pooper.
The worst is that they don't even care.
They're sitting all quiet and..
Poop.
They're with their friends talking and..
More poop.
Basically, their bathroom is everywhere.
Can you imagine we were like that?.
"Let's go John, we must get to the other side of the building to save the princess".
"oh god, how are we gonna do it?".
Ew, what's that smell?.
Oh sorry, I just shit myself.
See?, it's not normal to go to the bathroom wherever you want.
Aw, my little pooper doggy.
Like you-
When we were little, we watched Pokemon, right?.
Pokemon or whatever they play on tv now.
And you'd say:
How would it be to have a pet dragon?.
Charizard.
Can you imagine having a dragon?!.
If when I was little I'd had a dragon,
everything would have been very different.
Look at that loser!.
Get out of here you stupid loser!.
Ok, you asked for it.
Dragon, attack!.
Nobody would have messed with me.
I even remember asking my mother for a dragon.
And guess what she said.
Ye- No.
In exchange of that, she would give me a bear.
I said "wow! a bear!".
And it was a stuffed bear.
At the end it was kinda the same.
Almost.
Look at that loser!.
OK!, I'm tired of bullying!.
You better prepare for the powerful and incredible attack of my bear!!.
My life would have been completely different if I had a dragon.
Fucking Charizard.
And well, this video is about pets.
And like the good pet that she is.
Mimi wanted to be in this video.
She said she prepared a video, I don't know.
I don't even know, let's see.
Are we filming?, ok.
Hello, I'm Mimi, and I bet you a book that you're a human.
Humans.
We all have a human.
You know, those who give us food,
water, they walk us, etc.
Our slaves.
Have you noticed how weird humans are?.
They're tall, don't have hair, WEIRD!.
The weirdest thing is that they spend hours in front of that gigantic box.
Hours and hours sat.
They don't do anything!.
Another weird thing about humans is that they never lick their butts.
There's nothing better than licking your ass.
Hey! human!, lick your ass!.
But I can't!.
Lick it!.
I can't reach!.
Stupid human.
Question!.
How many times do you poop a day?.
I poop 30.243 times a day.
Specially in the carpet so it sticks very well.
That way, the human has to spend hours cleaning it.
A psychological hug!.
Bye bye!.
I'd feel offended, but that was a 100 times funnier than any of my videos.
Question!.
What was the last book you read?.
I'm reading this one and this one.
They told me it was good so, we have to see, right?.
Anyway.
And this..!
And this was this week's video, if you liked it please click thumbs up down here,
you can't even understand what I said.
You're not gonna click it?, no?.
Prepare yourself for the attack of the magnificent and powerful bear!!.
My life sucks.
If it's the first time you watch one of my videos, subscribe, I upload videos every friday.
Also don't forget to follow me on Facebook and Twitter, as always, the link in the description.
Thanks to everyone who voted and I hope you like the video.
And well, this week's video was a bit short,
but apparently, making a dog stay still to film, is a bit harder than I thought.
For lack of time, I had to omit a lot of things that I wanted to say,
but ok, I'll make a part 2 of this video or something.
A psychological hug and see you next friday.
And remember, if life turns it's back on you, touch it's butt.
Bye bye!.