>>>
>>> WELCOME BACK. WITHOUT THE PRESSURES OF MODERN
SOCIETY IS EASY TO FEEL LIKE
YOU NEVER HAVE OR ARE NEVER
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH. A
ENOUGH. A NEW BOOK BY SHAUNA AHERN HAS
HER TAKING A BREAK FROM FOOD
WRITING, WHICH IS GOOD AHEAD,
TO EXAMINE LIFE.
WE HAPPEN TO SAY SHE HAS BEEN
ENOUGH AND WRITTEN A BOOK WITH
THE SAME NAME.
WELCOME.
WELCOME.
WELCOME. >> AND TO BE HERE.
>> I WANT TO SAY THIS IS MY
FAVORITE BOOK IN A LONG TIME.
>> THANK YOU.
>> AND AM GOING TO CRY.
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT HOW WE FEEL
LIKE WERE NOT ENOUGH BUT WHEN
WE'VE HAD ENOUGH.
IT'S ENOUGH IN A LOT OF
DIFFERENT WAYS.
DIFFERENT WAYS. >> IT REALLY IS.
THE WORD IS SO NUANCED AND I
THINK IT'S UNDERUSED BECAUSE
AMERICA, OF COURSE, DEFINES
SUCCESS AS MORE.
FIGURE, RICHER, TINIER IF YOU
ARE A WOMAN.
BUT WE NEVER HAVE A CHANCE TO
ASK OURSELVES WHAT IS MY
VERSION OF SUCCESS AND WHAT IS
MY ENOUGH?
MY ENOUGH? YOU HAVE TO REACH A PLACE WHERE
YOU SAY ENOUGH PRETENDING.
I WOULD NOT TRY TO BE A TYPICAL
GIRL.
GIRL.
GIRL. I
GIRL. I NEVER WAS.
I WILL NOT TRY TO PRETEND
EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS FINE.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH. OR BETTER THAN FINE.
THE INSTAGRAM VERSION OF ME AND
ALL OF THAT.
>> YOU HAD A PRETTY IMPACTFUL
EXPERIENCE THAT BROUGHT YOU TO
THINKING ABOUT THIS.
TELL US ABOUT THAT ?
>> 4 1/2 YEARS AGO I HAD A
MINOR STROKE. AT THE TIME IT
FELT LIKE A REAL STROKE.
I LOST ALL THE FEELING ON THE
LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY AND I LOST
THE ABILITY TO TALK WHICH WAS
FOR ME VERY SCARY.
I'M A WRITER AND SO THAT'S HOW
I PROCESS THE WORLD.
HE RACED TO THE HOSPITAL.
LUCKILY BY THE NEXT MORNING
EVERYTHING WAS FINE.
I HAD A REALLY WONDERFUL DOCTOR
WHO WAS MORE LIKE A GURU THAN A
DOCTOR AND HE TOLD ME LATER
THAT ALL YOUR TESTS ARE FINE.
YOU'RE SUPER HEALTHY.
YOUR HEARTS AND YOUR BRAIN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED? HE SAID ARE YOU SLEEPING ENOUGH?
ARE YOU DANCING ENOUGH?
ARE YOU WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING BUT WORK
AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR KIDS?
NO.
NO.
NO. HE
NO. HE SAID, LIKE A LOT OF WOMEN, I
USED TO LAUGH WHEN THE DOCTOR
WOULD SAY, ARE YOU UNDER
STRESS?
STRESS?
STRESS? YES.
YES.
YES. OF
YES. OF COURSE I AM.
EVERYBODY IS.
EVERYBODY IS. AND ON TOP OF THAT WE WERE
WRITING COOKBOOKS AND I WAS
WRITING THE WEBSITE YOU WERE
RUNNING AND WE HAD A GLUTEN-
FREE FLOUR COMPANY WHICH I
WRITE ABOUT.
WRITE ABOUT. >> AND YOU ARE THE BEST GLUTEN-
FREE FOOD WRITER OUT THERE.
ALL OF THAT STUFF IF YOU NEED
THAT, SHE IS A WOMAN.
CARRY ON.
CARRY ON.
CARRY ON. >> HE SAID TO ME A QUESTION
THAT EXPLODED MY BRAIN THE BEST
WAY. HE SAID, WHY HAVE YOU
NEVER FELT LIKE ENOUGH?
AND HE DID NOT SAY WHERE DO NOT
FEEL GOOD ENOUGH AND START TO
CHANGE THOSE THINGS.
THAT'S THE QUESTION MOST PEOPLE
ASK REALLY, WHY HAVE YOU NEVER
FELT LIKE ENOUGH?
THAT'S WHAT STARTED THIS BOOK.
I REALLY WANTED TO GET RID OF
EVERYTHING I'D EVER FELT
ASHAMED OF AND ANYTHING I SAID
THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. AND
THAT. AND STARTED LOOKING AT WHAT
MIGHT IT BE LIKE TO LIVE LIFE
GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE RIGHT
NOW INSTEAD OF ALWAYS TRYING TO
IMPROVE ?
IMPROVE ?
IMPROVE ? >> AND YOU EARN IT.
THE PROCESS YOU GO THROUGH.
I CRIED AT MANY PARTS OF THIS
BOOK BUT I STARTED CRYING AS
SHE WENT THROUGH THIS INVENTORY
OF YOUR BODY AND THE THINGS WE
ALL DO AS WOMEN.
I HATE THIS AND I HATE THAT.
IF ONLY I COULD.
AND I FEEL LIKE MOST OF MY
CHOICES THESE DAYS ARE
DEFENSIVE.
DEFENSIVE. LET'S HOLD THIS IN.
KEEP THAT FROM SHOWING.
AND AS I READ THROUGH IT I
THOUGHT, YES, WE HAVE STARTING
IN PUBERTY FORWARD, WE LIVE OUR
WHOLE LIVES LIKE THAT IN THIS
SMALL SPACE AND OUR BODY IS ONE
MANIFESTATION OF IT.
WE MAKE OURSELVES SMALLER IN SO
MANY WAYS TO WIN APPROVAL OR TO
NOT OFFEND OR BE TOO LOUD OR TO
NOT BE THE WRONG KIND OF GIRL.
SO, AS YOU WROTE THIS,
OBVIOUSLY I TOOK THIS AS
THERAPY.
THERAPY.
THERAPY. NOT JUST A BOOK.
BUT AS YOU WROTE THIS, DID YOU
KNOW THAT WE ALL KIND OF FEEL
THAT WAY?
THAT WAY?
THAT WAY? >> I HOPED THAT THE BOOK WOULD
HELP AND THAT OTHER PEOPLE
MIGHT FEEL THIS WAY BUT IT
REALLY DID BUY THE BOOK TO
LIBERATE MYSELF FROM IT.
I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE IN
SERVICE TO THE READER OR
WOULD'VE KEPT JOURNALS.
I STARTED THE FIRST DRAFT,
INCLUDING OTHER WOMEN'S STORY.
MY FRIENDS.
MY FRIENDS. PEOPLE I KNOW AND I REALIZED I
HAD TO STRIP ALL THOSE AWAY
BECAUSE THAT WAS ME TRYING TO
PROTECT MYSELF.
PROTECT MYSELF. AND IF YOU LIKE WHEN EACH OF US
TELLS OUR OWN STORY COME
AUTHENTICALLY TRUE, BRIEF,
WHATEVER IT MAY BE, THAN OTHER
PEOPLE HEAR THEMSELVES IN IT
RATHER THAN WRITING A SELF-HELP
BOOK.
BOOK.
BOOK. I
BOOK. I REALLY DID WRITE IT TO
LIBERATE MYSELF FROM ALL THESE
THINGS AND SO I'VE BEEN REALLY
DEEPLY MOVED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE
IN ONLY THREE WEEKS HAVE
WRITTEN TO ME TO SAY, THIS IS
MY STORY.
MY STORY.
MY STORY. THIS IS MY FAMILY.
THIS FEELS SO RESONANT FOR ME.
>> YOU DIG DEEP IN YOUR FAMILY
OF ORIGIN AND OTHER PEOPLE
DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THAT SAME
FAMILY STORY.
FAMILY STORY. I THINK IT INVITES US TO LOOK
AT WHERE THOSE STARTED.
THAT IT'S NOT JUST RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE OF INSTAGRAM OR
MAGAZINES.
MAGAZINES. THAT THIS IS SORT OF THE STORY
OF GROWING UP FEMALE.
I THINK MEN CAN LEARN A LOT
FROM THIS BOOK AND I THINK
THERE'S A LOT IN THERE THAT'S
ALSO ABOUT MEN SO I DON'T WANT
TO MAKE THIS FEEL LIKE THIS IS
ONLY A WOMAN'S BOOK.
BUT IT DOES INVITE YOU TO DIG
DEEP.
DEEP.
DEEP. >>
DEEP. >> THAT IS THE INTENTION.
WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME STORY.
AND THAT DID GROW UP IN A VERY
CHILDHOOD TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD.
>> I WANTED TO GO BACK IN TIME
AND RESCUE YOU.
>> AND I DID TOO BUT I DON'T
FEEL LIKE ANYBODY HAS TO HAVE
THIS DRAMATIC A STORE TO FEEL
LIKE ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
SOCIETY IS BEEN TELLING US FOR
DECADES, WOMEN IN PARTICULAR,
ARE RIGHT ABOUT THE FACT THAT
IN FIFTH GRADE MY TEACHER AT
THE TIME TOLD ME THAT GIRLS
JUMP ROPE AND BOYS PLAY
BASEBALL.
BASEBALL.
BASEBALL. AND I THOUGHT, WHAT?
I LOVE BASEBALL.
AND THAT ALONE, I DID GO TO THE
PRINCIPAL AND SAID MY TITLE IX
RIGHTS ARE BEING AGGREGATED.
ASSUMING I WAS MORE IMPRESSED
THAT YOU KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT.
>> I'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS FEAR, A
FIERCE SENSE OF INJUSTICE.
I SPENT A LONG TIME BEING SHY
AND NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH AND
JUDGING EVERYTHING I DID.
BUT WHEN IT CAME TO THIS
PURPOSE OF INJUSTICE, I'VE HAD
THIS, LET STAND UP AND DO IT.
AND I THINK THAT I SEE MORE AND
MORE THESE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT
CIVILITY AND POLITENESS AND
WOMEN IN PARTICULAR BEING TOLD
THEY NEED TO BE NICE AND THEY
NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT
EVERYTHING IS SOFT AND THAT
EVERYTHING IS SMOOTH OVER
THERE.
THERE.
THERE. THE HECK WITH THAT.
NOTHING EVER CHANGED FROM
NICEST.
NICEST.
NICEST. I
NICEST. I PREFER THE WORD FIERCE.
>> I AGREE WITH THAT AND I
THINK THERE'S A TIME FOR
POLITENESS AND THERE'S A TIME
TO TREAT PEOPLE WELL AND ALL OF
THAT BUT ONE CIVILITY IS USED
AGAINST YOU TO SHUT YOU OUT AND
TO PUT YOU AWAY, THEN I AGREE
WITH YOU.
WITH YOU.
WITH YOU. YOU OUGHT TO BE BLOWN UP AND
REFUSED.
REFUSED.
REFUSED. WE WERE TALKING BEFORE WE CAME
ON AIR ABOUT HOW WE SEE IT
DIFFERENTLY FOR YOUNGER WOMEN.
I FEEL LIKE WE HAD THE WOMEN'S
MOVEMENT.
MOVEMENT.
MOVEMENT. WE DID THE THING IN THE 60s AND
70s BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
DIFFERENT NOW WERE GIRLS WHO
ARE TALL ARE NOT SLOUCHING AND
GIRLS ARE PLAYING SPORTS AND
NOT ACCEPTING THAT THEY HAVE TO
LIVE IN THIS NARROW SPACE AND
I'M ALL ABOUT IT.
>> HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
WHO WAS BACKSTAGE.
>> HELLO, LUCY.
>> SHE IS SO UTTERLY CONFIDENT
IN HER BODY AND SHE HAS A
DIFFERENT BODY THAN MINE BUT
SHE LIVES FULLY IN HER BODY.
SHE IS A DANCER.
SHE DOES MUSICAL THEATER.
AND IT NEVER OCCURS TO HER.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WROTE THIS IN
THE BOOK THE MACHINE AND I WERE
DRIVING AND SHE SAID MOM, DO
YOU EVER LOOK OUTSIDE TO SEE
WHAT THE PEOPLE WEARING?
I SAID YES I DO.
SHE SAID I REALLY LOVE DOING
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. I
THAT. I SAID ARE YOU EVER LOOKING AT
THEM AND SAYING, WHY ARE THEY
WEARING THAT?
WEARING THAT? SHE LOOKED AT ME SHOCKED AND
SAID, NO.
SAID, NO.
SAID, NO. WHY WOULD EVERYTHING BAD ABOUT
ANOTHER PERSON.
ANOTHER PERSON. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING
IN TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
I HOPE PEOPLE WILL JUST RUN,
NOT WELL, IT'S A PAGE TURNER
TOO.
TOO.
TOO. I
TOO. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I
ENJOYED IT AND