[Chapter 2]
[Chapter 2] [Kay Robertson]
[TODAY] [2020]
If you've heard our father's story,
now experience it through the eyes of our mother.
[1971] who had the question on a daily basis.
[WORTH FIGHTING FOR?] Is this marriage worth fighting for?
This is our mother, Kay Robertson.
and this is the beginning of our journey from dysfunction to dynasty.
[I AM SECOND] [PRESENTS]
[THE ROBERTSON FAMILY]
[Dysfunction to Dynasty]
When my grandmother and I talked about when I grew up and married,
I said, "We're going to be just like all the books say.
I'm going to get married, I'm going to have four kids,
and I'm going to live happily ever after."
And, my grandmother would say, "I know that you feel like that now,
but I promise you, somewhere in life,
you're going to have to fight for your marriage."
When I was 14 years old, my dad passed away suddenly.
He was 49 years old.
He had a massive heart attack, and he died.
My mother was only 42 at the time.
Of course what it did to her, was devastating.
I turned 15 and my mother and myself were dating at the same time.
She would date, I'd date.
I'd come home, she wouldn't be there.
Not a good situation, I'm going to tell you, for a teenage girl.
When I got my first look at Phil Robertson,
I liked what I saw.
That didn't hurt that he was star quarterback of the football team.
That was just added stuff.
But, yeah, I liked him when I saw him.
Phil was at the funeral.
And, I loved that he cared enough about me to come to my dad's funeral.
From that point, when I saw him that day,
it was like... we were history.
Together ever since.
I think, in a lot of ways, he just took my dad's place,
as my protector.
My man, my pioneer man.
Well my grandmother and I were so close,
but she's from a way different generation.
You know, when Phil and I were probably doing things we shouldn't,
touching and things like that,
I thought, "Well, I don't want to talk to her,
because my grandmother never talks about sex."
She never-- it was kind of a taboo word.
What happened, was, I became pregnant.
So, we did take off and get married.
As the first year was a real struggle, number one, we were so poor.
So in love, but so poor.
I'd never been poor. Phil had been poor all his life.
So it wasn't anything new to him. It was different to me.
We learned to live off fish, ducks, deer, squirrel.
All the things that he killed.
And then, I tried to cook it.
That was my process of learning how to cook.
I started seeing the change in Phil.
Phil who had never drank before, started drinking.
Alan was born when I was 17 years old, Phil was 18 years old.
And, we were like two kids with a kid.
I kind of feel sorry for Alan, because bless his heart,
I know he'd probably like to have a real mom and dad,
but he had who he had.
At least I didn't kill them. I did the best I could.
Jason was born, so thrilled about another boy.
Phil was happier than ever.
Unfortunately, the drinking got worse.
He was mean-spirited. He ran around on me,
smoked dope, he got got drunk.
We got pregnant again with Willie Jess.
Phill will have another boy, he's going to slow the partying
and drinking down, it's going to get better.
No.
What I would tell my boys all the time, is, "That's not your Daddy.
That's the devil in your Daddy."
I was worn out, I picked the boys up.
I came home, and he was drunk on the couch.
He said, "Why are you so late?"
And, I said, "The car broke down, blah, blah, blah."
I was telling him all that.
He said, "I know why you were late. You're having an affair."
And, of course, I started laughing,
because I said, "When would I have time to do that?"
"I work. I drive back and forth."
"I cook. I do laundry. I take care of the house."
"And, I just never would do that, because it's not right."
"I wasn't raised like that. I wouldn't do that."
So, that night was when I hit my lowest point in my whole life.
Because all of a sudden it came to me that,
I've been fighting for this marriage for a long time.
And it's not working.
I went in my bathroom, and I started crying and crying,
and I seriously thought, "I just want to die."
I really did. I just wanted peace,
and that was the only way I could think of it.
"I wish I could just take pills, and just go to sleep and never wake up."
I heard the pitter patter of little house shoes on the floor.
I will never forget that sound as long as I live.
And Alan said, "Momma, Momma, please don't cry."
"Don't cry. It's going to be all right."
And his next words said, "God is going to take care of us."
And I said, "What?" And he said, "God's going to take care of us."
All of sudden, it's like a light went off, and I said,
"Wait a minute... who's going to take care of these three little boys?
A drunk sitting on the couch? Or...
Me? Ah, I'm all they got."
I just got on my knees, and I prayed.
I said, "God, please help me find some peace."
"Please help me find some hope."
"And, please help me save my marriage."
That's what I said.
Well, I end up coming to talk to a preacher.
And, he shared The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
That He came to earth for me. That He died on the cross for me.
That He was buried for me. That He didn't stay buried.
He went back to show me that I'll be able to go back after death,
and I repented of my sins, and then I was baptized.
It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
And the neatest thing, though, that, that man told me that day,
was this, he said, "You are going to have help.
You'll have the Holy Spirit living in you.
You'll have Jesus Christ in you.
It's an anchor that will never leave you.
But, when you go home,
your husband's still going to be controlled by the devil.
You are still going to have him call you names.
Be mean to you. Go out and get drunk.
It's not going to change, just because what happened to you today.
You got to understand that.
But, you keep praying for him, just love him,
and it's going to happen."
What happened one day was a shock of the world.
When I came home in my little Volkswagon,
and he said to me... ... "I am sick of you."
"Well, I just can't stand your holy roller life."
"Everybody's reading their Bibles and their Bible-story books,
and all that, you're just ruining my life."
That's what he said.
And, I said, "Well I'm sorry we're ruining your life,
but this is our life now, and we're not changing."
And he said, "Well, what I've decided is, I want ya'll just get out of my life."
I said, "So this is what you're saying, you're kicking us out?"
"Yep, I want you and the three boys to leave.
And, that's it. I just can't take it anymore.
I mean, go live with your church friends.
You like them the best anyways, so just go on."
I just-- I can't take this anymore."
So, I said, "OK, I want it noted, I didn't leave you, you kicked us out."
And, I was thinking to myself, "I'll have to tell my Grandma in Heaven,
that I tried to fight this marriage out, but he just kicked us out.
So, what can I do?"
The boys would say, "I miss Dad."
And I'd say, "I miss him too."
"But, maybe us being away, will make him think what's wrong with his life.
And maybe he'll find a need for God."
So we would pray for him every day.
One day at work, we came back from our lunch,
and there was the ole gray truck,
sitting in the parking lot of where I worked.
"Oh no, Phil's here."
Well, his head was leaning over his steering wheel.
So when I came over to the truck, I opened the door,
and when he looked at me,
it was not like anything I'd ever thought would happen.
He had big tears coming down his eyes, and he said,
"I can't eat. I can't sleep. I want my family back."
Of course, my heart just started beating beating.
And I thought, "Oh my, this is just what I want, right here.
This is what I prayed for."
And I said, "I know who can help you."
He said, "Who? You're going to say God?"
And I said, "The only one who can help you."
He said, "Well, I don't know how to find him."
And I said, "Well, I do."
I went in, I called the guy who I had talked to.
I told him the situation. He said, "Kay, let me check my calendar."
And, I will never forget what I said to an elderly gentleman,
at my church, I said,
"Check you calendar?"
I said, "What's more important than one lost soul?"
And he said, "You're right. You are exactly right, Kay.
There's nothing more important."
He said, "I'll be at your apartment, me and my wife at 5:30."
I said, "OK. I'll see you there."
He said, "Phil, what do you think The Gospel is?"
And I said, "I don't know, Gospel music on the radio or something like that."
I was blown away when I heard that Jesus died for me,
was buried and raised from the dead, something so...
... it is simple but profound,
that happened back there, almost 2,000 years ago.
I had never heard it.
I came out thinking,
"I'm going to be as wide-open for good and for God,
and for my neighbor, as I was for the evil one,
and living this sinful lifestyle."
I said, "I'm fixing to, hang another gear,
and I'm turning from my sinful past,
and I am fixing to make a valient attempt to be good."
I said, "I've never tried it before."
I told the guy when he studied with me,
he said, "Just love God and love your neighbor.
And try to be good."
I'm like, "I've never tried that before."
We became family again, and the boys were so thrilled.
"Oh, Mom, what if the devil's really going to leave Dad this time?
What if he's going to be different?
What if he's going to go to church with us and be nice again?"
And I told them, "Well, we prayed enough for it."
"I think God's answering this prayer."
There he was, up in the bapistery.
I heard Phil say, "I want to make Jesus the Lord of my life."
I want to follow him from this day forward."
And, the next thing I knew, he was baptized.
And they come up, and the boys started hollering and singing,
jumping all over the place, and they said,
"My Daddy, my Daddy's saved! My Daddy's saved! My Daddy's saved!"
They were so happy.
Those years of growing, they were not always easy,
because that kind of behavior that you had before,
it always follows you through.
It takes a lot of time to learn the fruits of the Spirit,
and to learn the ways to be gentle, and kind and grateful,
and you know, all those things that come along with growing as a Christian.
But, we did that, and more importantly, I looked up to Heaven,
and told my Grandma, I said, "Well, I did fight for my marriage.
And guess what? I still have it."
[With a family spanning four generations,]
[Phil and Kay have remained faithfully married for over 50 years.]
My name is Miss Kay, and I Am Second.
[I AM SECOND]