Transcriber: Delia Cohen Reviewer: Ellen Maloney
Seriously, Rusty, 20 minutes?
It's more like seven.
In fact, I don't know.
Dan, am I bringing sexy back?
(Laughter)
The beauty of individuality
is in our ability to see someone or something
whether they are abstract or concrete.
It is said that 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal.
This means that much is being said around us
but are we being intuitive enough to what it is?
If you are watching or listening to me talk,
then how aware are you
of the people and of the things that are going on around you?
Does it matter?
Imagine if you could only hear in the direction that you are facing.
You would be oblivious to half or more of the things that are going on around you
unless you face another direction.
There is an epidemic amongst us
and that is the lost art of communication.
Additionally,
we are a society full of writhing insecurities
that are more apt to post an outlandish YouTube video
than have the courage to disclose of themself,
perpetuating a paradox.
So we scream out from the inside,
subtly,
"See me, hear me, help me."
In the first 30 seconds of an interview,
an employer knows whether or not he's going to hire you.
In the first five minutes of meeting someone,
you know if you're going date,
have sex with,
or even marry that individual.
Our first impression determines whether or not someone likes us.
In the documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth,"
narrated by Al Gore,
he has a quote:
"It's not what we don't know
but what we know that isn't so."
What we know that isn't so.
What if there was a second interview?
A second date?
Or an opportunity to further an impression before an opinion was formed?
What if we asked an intentional question?
Took a deep breath?
Or just waited
patiently?
Oscar Pistorius:
how does a man with no legs become an Olympian?
I'm not referring to the Paralympics
or the Special Olympics
but the 2012 Summer Olympics recently held in London.
He runs the 400 meters,
which is one lap around the track.
He made the semifinals of this event,
which means that of the over six billion people on this planet,
he is one of the 24 fastest to run this distance.
Do you see adversity?
Because he saw opportunity.
Gaga.
Contrary to lyric, she was not born this way.
This five-foot, two-inch dynamo
gave a voice to millions.
She introduced us to a collection of cross-cultures
otherwise ostracized by society.
Why do 25 million people follow her on Twitter?
Her message was simple:
"I see you. I hear you. I love you."
There are voices with stories crying out like choirs,
but they don't have the courage to speak
and fear the criticism when they do.
It's ironic that we fear opening up and exposing ourselves,
allowing ourselves to be vulnerable,
because we are generally admired and revered when we do so.
In 2004, Eve Ensler,
activist, author, and playwright,
gave a TED Talk.
And one of her closing quotes was:
"If we give in the world what we want the most,
we heal the broken parts inside each of us."
If we take a chance on seeing others,
we take a chance on having a personal connection.
A personal connection could lead to forming relationships.
When we cultivate relationships,
we create the possibility of understanding.
When we create understanding,
we also have the possibility of developing empathy.
Living outside of oneself
and understanding the perspective of others
is the challenge of empathy.
In 2010,
Sam Richards gave a TED Talk about empathy,
and he posted a closing quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky:
"While nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer,
nothing is more difficult than to understand him."
When we live with empathy,
we lessen the divisions that exist amongst us.
When I was about four or five years old,
my mother used to make a tray for us for dinner.
The tray was about 18 inches square
with a 1-inch lip.
It was burnt orange, almost rust-colored,
and its configuration resembled that of a stained glass window.
She would slice an apple and a few pieces of cheese,
peel an orange,
and combine that with a few crackers and grapes.
What I didn't know at the time
was that those food items were some of the last ones that we had in our home.
We would sit on the top step of our porch,
overlooking the neighborhood,
and she would ask me open-ended questions.
It was her way of seeing me and how I viewed life.
I remember how slow she used to eat,
always allowing me
to eat the last few slices of apples
and combination of cheese and crackers.
Her selfless sacrifice
that she made for me without hesitation
is what resonates with me today.
It was but one example
of the unconditional love and support that she gave me.
I never saw something so simple could say so much.
There is an interesting phenomenon that exists.
We become better people
and learn more about ourselves
when we take the time to see and help others.
Thank you very much.
(Applause)