I've got my budgies over here.
My name is Sui Ling Tang.
I live in my own flat, with a bit of support,
and I've got a fiance called Lloyd.
I think we've been together four years and four months.
That's it, yeah.
This is Jasmine, and this is Lucy.
These are twins - Fluffy and...
Snuggies or something.
Snuggles.
Lloyd is very good at cooking.
He's gorgeous, he's sexy.
Since I met Sui Ling, she's got me out and about.
We're just happy together, aren't we?
I've found my man.
But it did take a while to convince others around me that it was
what I wanted.
When you've got a learning disability
like me, support workers play an important role,
and it's sometimes hard for them to recognise that we want love.
If we're not seeing the humanity of people -
the desire to belong and be loved, in whatever shape that takes -
we're really not serving the people we're paid to support,
or there to support, very well.
I've come to the launch of a new campaign called
Supported Loving.
It's been set up to teach care staff to better understand and support
relationships like mine.
It's really important to me, my life's work.
Dr Claire Baites has studied relationships
in the learning-disabled community.
We decided to launch Supported Loving
because one of the main findings was without good support,
relationships for people with learning disabilities
just didn't happen.
That they needed support to organise dates,
To meet potential partners.
to organise contraception, help with moving in,
getting married, you know, all the stages that people go
through in a relationship journey.
We have a system that has grown to support people,
but actually restricts and suffocates people in many ways
from living ordinary ways.
I think there's become a bit of safeguarding -
a climate of protectionism around people.
There'd be, "Oh, do they have the capacity?"
Staff do want relationships, but I still think there's that fear
around people engaging in sexual relationships.
What happens if a man gets an erection while he's
kissing someone - what does he do?
And what happens if it's a French kiss?
What do you do with your tongue and don't
have too much saliva?
It's just really everyday chat in a cool-dudey type way.
It's not rude, it's just natural for everybody.
Lots of support workers are afraid to encourage relationships
because of fears over safety.
They also worry if people with learning disabilities are able
to properly consent.
David and Adeline have led the way in convincing the care workers
in their supported housing that they should be treated
as a couple.
I need some potatoes from there.
Come on then!
It's very hard, especially with David and Adeline's
condition that they can't say they are in love,
they can only show you, and they choose who to show,
they just don't show it to everybody.
Over time, the support workers started
to notice that they were acting more and more like a couple.
So Sheeba who used to work here said point blank,
they are in love, so why don't we say it?
What we would always do, when we are supporting people,
is to follow the person's lead.
I think we didn't get that right at first in terms of David
and Adeline being partners, because I think there's a real taboo
about people like David and Adeline being partners.
There's also the stuff about, do people have capacity,
so is it exploitative?
Staff and people who are trying to work out how to protect people
get a bit confused about keeping people safe because actually David
and Adeline are much safer because of their relationship.
After being together for a few years, the support workers helped
put on a celebration of their relationship.
It wasn't possible for them to legally consent to
an official marriage.
It was beautiful!
I remember, Ade, going to the nice underwear shop and helping you think
about nice stuff to wear under your dress and how excited
you got, and it was lovely.
It also made us think, oh, we need to think
about this more!
Robert and the other support workers also help to keep
the romance alive.
It's kind of like the norms now - we have a romantic
dinner every Friday.
So David and I are going to cook for Adeline.
We are almost done, waiting for the salmon.
There are broader benefits to being a couple -
it's not just the joy of the romance.
You are a little mucky pup!
Before they met, life was a bit lonely for David and Leanne.
Come home from work, walk in that flat -
we've got the support during the day but it's after that -
you lock the door and you're on your own and your mind's
going all over the place.
It weren't fun, was it, love?
No.
Together, David and Leanne have found that they need less help
from support workers now they're together and have more confidence
to get out and about.
Oh, we go all over, to York, don't we, love?
Scarborough.
David and Leanne are even planning a five-day trip
to Blackpool without support workers to see the sights.
Look round, you play that thingy.
Oh, frisbee!
Go to the beach.
And there are bigger plans to come.
I'm hoping in two years' time, we're getting married, aren't we?
Yeah.
When I first started dating, it was hard for us to find
and access the answers to all those private
questions about relationships.
Josephine and Jack, two life-sized dolls
who are used as part of a project to teach people
with learning disabilities about sex and relationships
through role-play.
When the naughty man went in the room and didn't knock,
how did Josephine feel?
She was a bit shell-shocked, wasn't she?
We've done fertility and menopause, we've done the healthy eating.
When we've done the fertility and menopause,
Josephine has...
Oh, she has butterflies in her stomach!
That's when she sees somebody she fancies for the first time.
Oh, aye!
We've done a demonstration, and the chaps have as well
about putting...
A condom on!
Hanky panky!
That would be the kind of thing I would come out with!
It's great to see from projects like this
that people are starting to take our romantic
relationships seriously.
I've been lucky that my support workers have helped me
through my relationship.
And even know when to leave us alone.
Hopefully we'll get married, maybe live together,
and just have a nice life.
I really hope more people with learning disabilities will be
given the chance to find love.
I love you.
I love you too.