Falling in love is fun.
There is also the wedding day: the apex of your romance.
Two people ride off into the sunset together — years of blissful union stretching out
before them.
But a happy and healthy marriage begins after the music stops and the formalwear is put
away.
Hey there viewers and welcome back to another Bestie video!
While marriage can be a blast, even the most successful couples ebb and flow in terms of
attraction, compatibility, and connection.
There are key indicators marking the health of our marriage.
And in today’s video, we will tell you what they are.
From asking each other questions, not controlling each other, complimenting more than criticizing,
letting go of things to finding ways to spend time with each other and more, watch till
the end to learn about all of them.
You have a team mentality: An important sign of a healthy marriage is when you and your
spouse make decisions together as a unit.
When you ensure that those decisions benefit both of you as a couple, your marriage lies
on a strong foundation.
A team mentality is created and maintained through ‘team’ language.
Couples who put this effort into team based communication, reap the benefits of a stronger
and more fulfilling marriage.
Do you make couple decisions on your own or consult with your partner?
Tell us quickly down below in the comments section!
You ask each other questions: After several years or, perhaps, decades of living side
by side, some couples fall into a routine where they merely co-exist.
They stop asking questions, wanting to know their partner’s point of view and opinions.
This is a big no-no.
If you are able to give your point of view, ideas and opinions to your partner, even if
you think your spouse will disagree, it is a sign that you have a strong marriage.
You value the relationship over being right: This means you have learned to forgive quickly.
This also means that when you feel the other person is wrong and you’re right, you are
willing to consider their point of view.
It shows you value the relationship more than your ego.
Sometimes this might mean you apologize first, even if you feel you aren’t at fault.
This will model humility and forgiveness to your partner, and most of the time, they will
respond in kind.
You don’t try to control each other: This is a big one.
It’s easy to want to control things when your every decision directly affects one another.
But it’s crucial that you give each other freedom to be yourselves.
Even though these differences might feel threatening,it makes you both stronger because you have different
strengths and weaknesses, instead of the same ones.
Your spouse is your “first” person: In good times and bad, who do you call?
When your spouse is the first person to hear most of your good and bad news, your marriage
is likely in a healthy place.
Anytime we notice that we are leaning excessively on others rather than our spouse, something
is wrong.
Friends are important and our spouse doesn’t have to be our first person in every situation.
But most of the time, we should want to share our lives with our partner before we share
it with others.
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You don’t Ignore each other: Marriage is built on a foundation of good communication.
But when one partner regularly gets distracted or acts like they have better things to do,
contempt can flourish.
Phubbing, the act of mindlessly scrolling through one’s phone while someone else is
speaking, is a common pain point.
Will you tune out the occasional conversation?
Sure, you’re only human.
But marriage is a game of odds.
And couples who listen to one another have a better shot at lasting.
You keep trying out new things together: The roommate phase is a real phenomenon.
If you find yourself falling into familiar patterns, it can breed boredom and disinterest.
This can lead to other, more toxic, behaviors working their way into the marriage.
If your partner isn’t receptive to trying something different, like a class or exploring
a new location, this can discourage partners.
Complacency quickly leads to contempt.
Couples who actively work to bring new things into a marriage are often happier for it.
You let your partner grow separately: It’s crucial to grow together.
But it’s also important for partners to let one another grow on their own.
Being needy and clingy all the time can be a drain on your partner’s emotions and ultimately
lead to them giving you attention out of obligation as opposed to desire.
Eventually they will start to look at your relationship as a job, one that they might
want to quit.
Letting your partner grow separately from you is an important factor in personal fulfillment.
Remember, you are two individuals who are in love, not a packaged couple.
You learn to let things go: It’s only natural that you will annoy each other once in a while.
You will fight, too.
You will remember all the times your spouse did or didn’t do something and it will build
up.
The best thing you can do is talk about it, and then let it go.
The best relationships are the ones between two great forgivers.
Your house isn’t silent: It can be quiet if the nest is empty, maybe much quieter than
it used to be.
However, a healthy house isn’t silent.
There is a good amount of conversation back and forth.
You’re asking questions, interacting and finding a way to connect.
The problem with a silent house is the absence of emotional connection.
Find a way to laugh, play and enjoy one another's company.
You compliment more than you criticize: Criticisms are necessary in any relationship.
That’s how partners evolve and understand issues.
But criticism alone cannot sustain a partnership.
If you are criticizing each other more than you’re complimenting, you’re headed for
trouble.
In fact, research shows that you need five positive statements to counteract every negative
one in order to keep a relationship on good terms.
You speak respectfully about your spouse even in their absence: The tone of your words when
speaking to or about your spouse will ultimately set the tone of your entire marriage.
Resist the temptation to trash talk your spouse even when they have done something you don’t
like.
Work through disagreements with mutual respect and protect and defend your spouse’s reputation
in public.
Speak to each other and about each other with respect.
You're open with each other: Opening your heart and exposing your vulnerabilities in
a relationship is tough.
But, it helps you learn and build strong emotional connections, a must-have for every good marriage.
If you and your partner are comfortable with each other and can talk openly, then it is
a sign that your marriage can last.
You always put your partner first: Between things like work and your kids, you don't
always have the time to make your spouse a priority.
When you're with the right person, though, that's not the case.
It could be simply saying "I love you," washing the dishes after dinner, or taking them to
that new restaurant they've been wanting to try.
The point is, no matter how chaotic life can get, you put your spouse first.
To some, this is not natural.
As with anything in life, it becomes natural through practice.
Your fights are productive, not destructive: Even seemingly perfect couples fight behind
closed doors.
The difference between unhealthy and healthy relationships is that fights shouldn't be
about who's right.
They need to be more productive.
This means listening to each other, understanding and respecting each other's viewpoints, and
finding common ground so that you can strengthen your marriage.
And please, call it what it is -- a fight.
Don't go around saying, "We never have fights, we have discussions."
A fight doesn't mean you are hurling insults or getting physical.
No!
Sure you are discussing, it's a fight -- but you can and should have a fair one.
When your fights start to become destructive rather than being productive, it’s a sign
that you may be in an unhealthy relationship.
There are other signs to recognize such a relationship.
Learn more by watching “17 Warning Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship”
Now, back to Signs You Have A Very Strong Marriage
You share each other’s values and goals: It would be boring if a couple had the exact
same interests or personalities.
Some of the strongest relationships are the ones where the couples balance each other
out.
One of them may be too spontaneous, but their significant other can reel them in a bit.
At the same time, that spontaneous person can make their partner more outgoing.
There are some long-term values and goals that they should share, though.
For instance, if you want to have children but your spouse doesn't, that could have serious
implications for your marriage.
You seek ways to spend time together: This differs across stages of life.
Newlyweds and retirees likely don’t have to seek time together as much as a couple
working two jobs and raising kids.This doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute together.
But it does mean you should schedule some date nights.
Some real one on one time where you can connect again.
If you no longer want to spend time with your partner, it’s a sign that something is not
right.
While these might be signs of a happy marriage, it is very important to recognize the signs
of an unhappy marriage.
Learn more about these signs by watching:
8 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Your Forever Partner
Or
8 Signs Your Partner No Longer Loves You
So go ahead and watch one or both of these video to know when it’s time to walk away
from a relationship.
How many years have you been married?
Let us know in the comments section below!