(digital text typing)
- You know, I'll be honest with you guys,
I'm not ready for this, okay?
I can't go into a war zone.
- Chill man, I got this.
- How do you got this?
- Yeah, what do you mean, you got this?
- Stay calm.
Remember your tactical breathing.
- What is tactical breathing, Roy?
All I know is breathing breathing.
- We're going to get fucking killed.
- Yeah, they're gonna to kill us out there.
- Stay calm.
- What do you mean? - [Roy] I got you.
Two weeks ago, I figured everything would be cool
in Cleveland,
at least that's what I told my fake wife
when she said goodbye.
Cleveland's gonna to be a good time.
They just won a championship.
Cleveland ain't been this happy since,
they ain't never been this happy.
First up, D.C.
Needed tips on covering conventions,
so I hit up a dude at Politico.
I knew he was good because he didn't wear a necktie,
or shave, or brush his hair.
Alright, I know you've been covering the election
for a long time.
What's the vibe gonna be like in Cleveland,
like what should I wear?
I want to go the right parties, it's gonna be hey!
- It's gonna be tense.
You might wanna get a helmet or a gas mask.
There's a lot of unrest expected.
There are reports of anarchist cells
that are gonna come out for this.
- I'm talking about the event in America.
I'm not talking about Syria, man.
What is you talking about?
- This is for the Republican National Convention
in Cleveland, Ohio.
- Why the hell is it gonna be like that?
- Trump has been a lightning rod from the start
of this campaign.
- The newspapers and the media are totally dishonest people.
These people right here, look at all the cow--
You are the most dishonest human beings on Earth.
- [Voiceover] Ben Schreckinger was then denied entry
to Trump's press conference.
- Donald Trump has repeatedly revoked or denied
press credentials to a number of different news outlets
like Politico, BuzzFeed, The Daily Beast, Univision.
- The press, they're so dishonest,
we just took the press kit credentials away
from the dishonest Washington Post, I said--
- [Roy] Okay, so he trashes the press.
That's what politicians do.
Why is this a big deal?
- Banning an outlet like The Washington Post
is unprecedented.
- Yeah, but The Washington Post, BuzzFeed, Politico,
these are all liberal publications who are just havin'
a little hissy fit because Mister Trump
won't let us in his event.
- It's not just the liberal--
- Why won't you let me in your event?
(whimpers)
- Dishonest media is not a term that he reserves
for only liberal media.
It also affects traditionally conservative media as well.
And the idea that journalists are the enemy
is not a good idea to have in a country
where we pride ourselves on freedom of the press.
- So you're saying freedom of the press is important,
even for journalists who say stupid shit?
- Well, who's saying that they're saying stupid shit?
Trump? - [Roy] Yeah.
- Yeah, I mean, it's unfortunately understandable
that some journalists have been undergoing crisis training
to prepare for the Republican National Convention.
- Crisis training?
- It's not exactly-- - [Roy] For a convention?
I've seen the convention on TV.
Look like white Mardi Gras.
- I wish I was joking, but I'm not.
- And she wasn't.
This is Global Journalist Security,
where they actually use this crazy, maze-runner,
Hunger Games looking thing
to train journalists for Afghanistan, Iraq,
and, I shit you not, the RNC.
- The fact that Mister Trump has come very close
to inciting violence against individual journalists
inside his own Trump rallies,
the fact that you're gonna have protesters,
supporters of Mister Trump,
possibly armed Second Amendment rights protesters.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, hold on.
Did you just say "armed protesters?"
- That's right.
- Legally armed protesters?
- Legally armed.
Ohio is an open and concealed carry state.
- Shit, I'm not goin'.
Not with people walkin' around with damn guns.
I'm not goin' to Cleveland.
(phone buzzes)
Excuse me a second.
Trevor, what's up?
(sighing)
I'm goin' to Cleveland.
- They are disgusting, dishonest human beings.
- Yo, I needed to get trained real quick.
So I ran the simulation of a Trump rally.
Me the journalist versus an angry Trump crowd.
(yelling)
Yeah, you can tell it's pretend
because some of the Trump supporters are black.
But, real talk, I was terrified.
Mama, mama!
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, no, no, no, no, no, no.
They're surrounding you, okay?
You've gotta realize they're startin' to go hostile.
Let's get out of here.
- How 'bout I just pick one and just stah-bop!
Especially you, hoo-hup!
Not so tough now.
- Drop the ego, put it in your pocket.
- Why don't they like me, man?
- Do the tactical breathing, that's gonna calm you down.
(inhaling deeply)
- Tactical breathing, done.
I'm ready.
Tactical breathing was all I needed.
Get ready, Cleveland, I'm comin' for ya.
(fast forwarding noises)
- [Hasan] I've have too much to live for, Roy!
- [Ronny] Yeah, me too!
- Yeah, him too, don't you get it?
All the three minorities on this show,
- [Ronny] Yo! - and they're gonna murder us!
- Chill! Chill!
(ominous music)
Let's go.
(confident, intimidating music)
(protesters chanting)
I don't got this.
- You don't got this?
You don't got this, Roy?
- Get back in the car.
- What!
- It was an Uber, Roy, it's driving away!
- Roy, Roy, god damn it, Roy, Roy!
(Daily Show theme music)
- Hey there, thanks for watching.
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