Meeting the pope is a big deal, and when it comes to etiquette, there's a long list of
do's and don'ts. Despite those rules, people still make mistakes — and sometimes, the
results are pretty bad. These are the biggest mistakes people make when meeting the pope.
If you're going to meet the pope, you'd probably seek out some kind of expert to guide you
through the process, or at least give you some quick tips.
"So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?"
According to Robert Hickey of the Protocol School of Washington,
"The Holy Father is so high he is never introduced to anyone: individuals are presented to the
Holy Father. He requires no introduction: anyone about to meet the Pope already knows
who he is."
It makes sense when you think about it. Imagine meeting Brad Pitt, and he holds out his hand
and says, "Hi, I'm Brad Pitt."
You'd be like, "Yes... I know."
Now imagine the pope introducing himself. Everyone knows who he is. Even if his face
doesn't ring a bell, the outfit is a dead giveaway, not to mention the guys in striped
pajamas guarding him. Of course he doesn't need an introduction.
Selfies are a part of life now; it's been that way for a while. But Pope Francis, one
of the most photographed people in the world, is not a fan. According to the National Catholic
Reporter, in 2018 he told a meeting of 1,700 church leaders about an interaction he'd had
with kids a few days before, saying,
"They were all there waiting for me. When I arrived, they made noise, as young people
do. I went to greet them and only a few gave their hand. The majority were with their cellphones
(saying), 'photo, photo, photo. Selfie!'"
This, according to Francis, was an uncomfortable experience for many reasons. He continued,
"I saw that this is their reality, that is the real world, not human contact. And this
is serious. They are 'virtualized' youths. The world of virtual communication is a good
thing, but when it becomes alienating, it makes you forget to shake hands."
Look, obviously meeting the pope is the pinnacle of "pics or it didn't happen." But these kids
were members of a Catholic youth organization the pope had started himself when he was a
mere archbishop. You'd think they would have been briefed on what to do when meeting His
Holiness and how to show at least a little bit of reverence. Even Gen Z should be aware
that you don't react to a pope sighting the same way you do to running into Harry Styles,
or the members of BTS. At least say hello before shoving your phone in his face.
As author James-Charles Noonan Jr. explained in a 1996 book on the Catholic church,
"For centuries, the Church has granted an indulgence to Catholics who reverence the
ring of the pope, cardinals, and other prelates."
Basically, it's a really great thing for a religious person to kiss the pope's ring,
and it could even help send you to Catholic Heaven. So obviously, people want to do it.
In 2019, a video from the Vatican went viral that showed Pope Francis pulling his hand
away from a "parade" of worshipers who were trying to kiss his ring. How come?
A Vatican spokesman was quick to clarify things to reporters afterward, saying,
"The Holy Father told me that the motivation was very simple: hygiene. He wants to avoid
the risk of contagion for the people, not for him."
While some Catholics called the act of the pope pulling his hand away "disturbing," others
say it's just how things are now. A scholar in medieval church history, Christopher Bellitto,
thinks kissing the ring is, quote, "a leftover that is best left over," and made clear that
he didn't think many people in Pope Francis' position would have acted differently. As
he put it,
"This isn't as much of a Francis story, as much as a story about the modern papacy."
Lots of fancy occasions have dress codes, so it's no surprise that meeting the pope
involves one as well. The Catholic Church loves a good dress code, whether it's a pointy
miter, a nun's habit, or whatever the heck it is the Swiss Guards call their monstrosity
of a uniform. And since the pope and most of the people around him have sworn a vow
of chastity, of course it's only polite to keep the more risque attire at home.
But the dress code goes further than that, and even queens can screw it up. The dresser
to England's Queen Elizabeth revealed there was almost an "international incident" when
she met with Pope John Paul II in 2000. Reportedly, someone informed the queen she could wear
a day dress to the meeting, when she really needed to follow the rules and wear black.
Her dresser, who is Catholic, packed a black dress just in case, which the queen ended
up wearing.
While black is a must, white is a privilege. Called "privilege du blanc," meaning "the
privilege of the white," only queens and princesses from Catholic countries are supposed to wear
white when meeting the pope. But British Prime Minister Tony Blair's wife, Cherie Blair,
and Mexican first lady Angélica Rivera both missed that memo, donning white dresses when
meeting Popes Benedict and Francis.
Considering Pope John Paul II was shot by a member of the public who got close to him,
it's no surprise that reaching out and grabbing the pope without warning is kind of a no-no.
But it seems to be something people forget all the time.
Ingrid Betancourt spent six years as a hostage in Colombia where she found solace in reading
the Bible. Pope Benedict XVI publicly appealed for her release, and when she finally got
her freedom she was granted an audience with him. It was obviously an overwhelming experience
for Betancourt, who admitted,
"As soon as I went in, I hugged the pope and maybe I wasn't supposed to do that."
In 2008 during a visit to the United Nations, Pope Benedict stood on a six-inch platform
while receiving a line of dignitaries in an attempt to keep him out of their reach. It
didn't work.
Alice Hecht, then the U.N.'s chief of protocol recalled,
"The first person walked up on the platform and hugged him."
Still, that wasn't as bad as during a previous visit, when someone leapt up onto the platform
in the U.N. General Assembly for a papal cuddle. Still, Larry Dunham, a former assistant chief
of protocol at the State Department, gets it. According to him, it's probably a good
idea to wait for the Pope's cue to see if a warm embrace would be appropriate. He said,
"I understand that people can be overcome in that kind of situation. I'd follow his
lead."
According to Catholic theology, the pope is supposed to have a direct line to God. This
is a man who can chat with the supreme deity, getting exclusive insights into life, eternity,
and religious doctrine. So when he takes time out of his day to meet with you, you best
not waste his time. That includes keeping him waiting.
"You're late."
If you have a meeting with the pope, you need to be the first one to show up. Vladimir Putin
is notoriously late to meetings with other world leaders, in what seems to be an obvious
kind of power play. But even he was on time for an audience with Pope John Paul II.
This was notable enough that one Russian newspaper is said to have run with the headline, "The
President Was Not Even a Second Late." But in 2013, he topped this by arriving almost
an hour late to see Pope Francis.
Occasionally, the pope will arrive first as a sign of respect. Pope Benedict did this
with President George W. Bush in 2008. The president had picked the pope up at the airport
when he came on a visit to the United States, so the pontiff repaid this kindness by arranging
to meet Bush at a medieval castle, reportedly arriving several minutes early for the appointment.
While you could never argue in good faith that the Catholic Church isn't inherently
political, the pope is at least supposed to pretend to be neutral in the messy world of
politics. So it is seriously bad form when the pope agrees to meet with you, and you
end up using that meeting to promote your own political agenda. Yet politicians can't
seem to help themselves.
When Pope Francis was to meet with the civilian leader of Myanmar, the country's military
leader changed the schedule at the last minute in order to meet the pope first, making it
look like he was more important.
And the Guardian reports that Vatican officials let it be known they were not happy when Secretary
of State Mike Pompeo tried to meet with Pope Francis right before the 2020 election, saying
they knew it was for political reasons.
Since Pope Francis is originally from Argentina, some of his countrymen seem to think he should
get politically involved in a sticky situation with the U.K.
When he met the pope, one Argentinian official tricked him into taking a sign that read,
"It's time for dialogue between Argentina and the United Kingdom over the Falkland Islands."
The pope was photographed holding the sign, and the Argentinian president, Cristina Fernández
de Kirchner, who has made clear in the past that she thinks the pope should get involved
in the Falkland disagreement, retweeted it to her 4 million Twitter followers.
While Pope Francis has proven not to be a huge fan of people slobbering all over his
ring, he didn't seem to be as worried about other public health issues. Case in point:
the COVID-19 pandemic. While Pope Francis has expressed dislike for former President
Donald Trump and his policies in the past, one thing they seemed to agree on was forgoing
masks during the pandemic, at least until those around them basically forced a mask
on them.
You would think that Pope Francis would be extra careful about contracting an airborne
virus that disproportionately kills the elderly, since he's in his eighties and missing part
of a lung.
The Vatican, as a country where about 800 people live, had rules about wearing masks
just like other nations. But Francis just ... didn't. And he had a few close calls,
coming in contact with at least three people who later tested positive for COVID-19.
And just like many people in the U.S. were frustrated with Trump for not wearing a mask,
Pope Francis' choice was controversial. One Jesuit priest, the Rev. Thomas Reese, wrote
to the pontiff. He explained,
"You're supposed to follow your own rules. You're the boss. It's very disappointing he's
not doing it. I wrote that because I love him, not because I'm one of his opponents.
It's tough coming and saying: 'Pope, you're wrong. Put on the mask.'"
Many popes have been big fans of soccer. John Paul II was a pretty good goalie when he was
young. Pope Benedict was invited to become an honorary member of his favorite team, Bayern
Munich, and Pope Francis is a big supporter of the Argentinian team San Lorenzo de Almagro.
But just because he might appreciate the sport, that doesn't mean you should show up at the
pope's house and start kicking a soccer ball around.
Pop star Justin Bieber learned this the hard way. Now, to be fair, Bieber didn't actually
meet the pope on this occasion. Christian Today says he was rumored to have paid 20,000
euro for a private after-hours tour of the Vatican. This included the museums full of
precious, irreplaceable religious artifacts and the pope's personal apartments.
Bieber was definitely at the Vatican and had a soccer ball with him, because he posted
a picture of himself holding one in front of the Sistine Chapel. (Or, as he once called
it in an interview with David Letterman, the "Sixteenth Chapel.")
"I'm not going for the Sixteenth Chapel."
Not only did the singer break the dress code by wearing shorts and a hat, but allegedly
he was kicking the soccer ball around the halls of the hallowed buildings. Obviously,
Vatican staff was not thrilled with this disrespect for the pope's home and "scolded" Bieber for
his antics.
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