Hi there students! " COMPLIMENTS "
So what is a compliments to start with ?
I really like your new hat !
You look really good in that hat ! I like your hair cut !
Thank you for that meal, it was really lovely !
So, a compliment,
this is when somebody says something nice
to you . Making a compliment generally is
reasonably easy but what is more problematic
is: HOW TO REACT .
In effect, there is three different way you can react : - You can
accept the compliment . - You can reject
the compliment or
- You can accept the compliment but
indirectly . Now, let´s look at
the three possibilities one by one to start with .
So... to accept a compliment : - " I really like your new hat "
- " Thank you, I know I look fantastic in it, don´t I ?
It's a brilliant hat . I always look really good in hats, don´t I ? " .
OK .
if you react like this if you accept the compliment directly,
you´re going to seem arrogant
and rude,
big headed...You don´t
imagine that you couldn´t look good in it
and this does not sound good . OK ?
So, I don´t recommend
directly accepting the compliment . You could reject the compliment :
- " Hey I like your new hat "
- " No, this hat is really old, I look really terrible in it, it´s awful"
OK ? If you react
like this and reject the compliment, you are suggesting that
the person who's making the compliment is being insincere,
they are trying to flatter you,
that you think they are wrong
and that they really don´t mean what they say .
Again this is less than ideal .
SO in my,
in my book my recommendation with a compliment
is to accept the compliment indirectly:
- " I really like your new hat " - " Thank you, I'm really glad you like it .
I wasn't sure if it was going to look good or not
but if you say that you like it you make me feel more relaxed about it " .
OK ? So I've accepted the compliment but
it haven't directly accepted it .
OK ? So like this you are
showing appreciation for the person´s compliment, yeah ?
You are replying to them,
you're accepting their point of view,
you are not being arrogant and self-important and you're not
saying that they´re insincere either . So,
this is what I would recommend . If somebody makes
a compliment, somebody gives you a compliment,
the first thing to do, is accept it : - " Thank you,
that´s very kind of you, I'm glad you think like that, I´m glad you like it " .
And then maybe make some comment about it :
- " I got it last week " . Yeah ? Like this
this is much more neutral and this is a much
better way of reacting to a compliment .
So : - " You look really good in your new hat ! " .
- " Thank you that´s so kind of you,
I'm really glad you think like that " . OK ?
So, try to accept compliments but indirectly, OK ?
So, let´s continue...
There are other types of compliment
or situations where you can compliment people, for example
if you go to somebody's dinner party you could say :
- " Thank you that was a wonderful meal "
OK ? As the host you say : - " Thank you
I'm glad you liked it ". Yeah ?
- " I hoped that it was going to be something that the people at the party
would enjoy eating " or you could say : - " Yes
I expend a lot of time making it, so it makes me feel
good that you enjoyed it" .
When somebody compliments you, they are trying to make you feel good
( or you hope that is so ) and you need to try
reflect that back and make them
feel good as well . Before I finish, there´s
one other way of accepting a compliment or
reacting to a compliment . You can just mirror
a compliment back . So :
-" You look really good in your new hat ". - " Thank you,
your trousers look really good on you as well ".
So, You receive a compliment and you just send one back
OK ? Like that both sides
are equal . So
anyway, that´s the end of the video . Next time somebody compliments you,
think about how to react and try to accept the compliment
but indirectly . So, anyway...
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