Welcome to Conscious Clips and our
time together.
Conscious Clips is a series of videos to introduce to you
the skills and powers of Conscious Discipline
So, what is Conscious Discipline? Conscious Discipline is an emotional
intelligence program
to help adults and children respond from the higher centers their brain
instead react from the lower centers of the brain to a conflict in life
situations.
So basically, what it is it's a shift from a very traditional, compliant
obedient model of discipline
to one that's a relationship based model of discipline
and each of these have different core beliefs and the traditional model the
goal
is to make children behave it's based on the notion we can make children mind. We
can make our spouse change. We can make co-workers
be more productive.
Now I don't know about you but I've lived long enough to know that you can't
make anybody else change. You can't
and now maybe you've tried maybe tried, maybe you've tried to have a smoker quit smoking a
drinker quit drinking or eight month old eat those peas. It's impossible to make
others change.
Conscious Discipline says
since that is impossible, what is possible? It is possible to change ourselves
and because we were in dynamic relationships with each other
if I'd change myself
and the dance we do with each other than you in turn
will change how you respond to me.
The second difference between traditional discipline and conscious
discipline is
traditional discipline
relies on the rules and consequences its foundation
and it says if it could just find the right will or the right consequence this
behavior would go away.
Now if you go from jail cell to jail cell in America you could ask almost
everyone in jail say
you know the rule about killing
and they all could say yes.
So obviously
rules and consequences are going to get perfect behavior
because we're not short on rules we all have a wonderful society
subconscious discipline says what governs behavior what's the foundation
is
a relationship with one another and our relationship with each other gives us
the willingness
to want to solve our conflicts.
And everybody knows this everyone's experienced this when you feel close to
someone when your relationship is going well
and you say, "Could you get me something out of the fridge?" and they'd say "Okay."
but when your relationship is severed when you're mad at him when you haven't
been talking for years, you said "Could you get me something out of the fridge?" They'd say "Get it
yourself."
So that relationship gives us the willingness
to solve our conflicts.
So the third difference between traditional discipline and Conscious
Discipline
is in traditional discipline we're trying to get rid of conflict we don't like
conflict we grew up in conflict with the painful thing it hurt all we knew that
conflict represented was
hurtful things, screaming, yelling, days of intense silence. So when we
grew up
we wanted to do anything to avoid conflict
and so what we've done to try to avoid conflict is usually reward and
punishment.
If you have no conflicts this morning I'll give you a little gummy bear.
Or we'll just take you to McDonald's if you just straighten up and act right.
Or if you do these things we're going to take away these things. We're going to
take away recess, if you're a teacher. We're going to take away
T.V. privileges if you're a child.
So it's based on these external
models,
external reinforcers, external punishments.
Punisher's governing your behavior
a stimulus response, here's the stimulus you respond differently. Conscious
Discipline views conflict very, very differently and what it does is help you,
it helps you proceed conflict differently,
it helps you see conflict as missing social emotional skills,
and then it teaches you the skills of how to replace those skills.
In yourself,
and in your children.
So that you can build healthy relationships and in those healthy
relationships you can have connection coexisting with conflict and a very
healthy growth-oriented way.
So Conscious Discipline asked us to rely on internal resources
it teaches us
through think through things, it teaches us to reflect on what's the best suited decision for
us.
It's not based on what stimulus is going to trigger a certain
reaction from me. It says, let's think it through.
Let's think,
what might be in my best choice in this situation? So if you found these ideas I
shared with you intriguing and you're ready to move further and shifting from
a traditional discipline model to a more conscious discipline model Conscious
Clips will be a tool that will be helpful to you.
Until next time.
I wish you well.