better number one actual viewers from actual uh letters or you know
I'm like that close enough yeah yeah uh Dear Dave uh letter number one begins ever thought of doing
a late show in Canada your friend John trudell Quebec City Canada you know uh we've never I
love Canada Paul's from Canada I've never done a show there Paul recently you did a show in
Canada right I did a great Boxing Day special up there it was a boxing day special yeah yeah
take a look at it I I brought a clip if you'd like all shaffer's Canadian Boxing Day special roll it
best Deuce every 26th Paul Schaefer invites you to the wildest Boxing Day Ever party the
night away with Paul's All-Star friends Lou Rawls Alan Thicke Canadian football
quarterback Vince Ferragamo horse Shack Handler sexy sexy Winnipeg Blue bomber cheerleaders
want to okay to look back at the first Boxing Day and a haunting look at boxing day in the future
damn you all to hell oh shaffer's All-Star Boxing Day Gala fever doesn't make any sense what the
hell was that special came out great you know you don't know anything about Boxing Day do you
I have never been able to figure out what it means letter number two ladies and gentlemen
letter number two everybody right we got to learn we're all on the same page letter number two it
said Y2K bug that's what it is it will screw up your cue card boy I already have starting to a
second already man alive I haven't I haven't seen card action like that since I was in Atlantic City
thank you hit me hit me no no I'll stay I'll stay no no hit me can I have a mimosa
okay are you ready are you ready how many times have I told you to use the rubber thumb [Laughter]
all right here we go let her number two hey Dave have you guys been pushing the top ten back later
and later in the show I hope you're not thinking about dropping this legendary TV icon this comes
from a Josh Doty uh Josh you know that's a pretty good question I haven't noticed uh anything about
the changing the position of the top ten but I want to tell you something your concerns are not
being ignored and what we've done we've hired a guy now to watch to watch now every episode of
The Late Show to monitor the position of the top ten to see if in fact it's moving so do me a favor
please say hello to the kid we've hired to do this Jay Johnson where is Jay there he is right there
first of all Jay thank you very much now
I have this I have this correct you're going to watch every episode of The Late Show and record
the position of the top 10 list right that's right yeah and who are the guys behind you
there oh they're just here in case I try to make my way out of my uh restraints here oh
all right well thank you very much for your help and good luck Jay there you go buddy Jay
Johnson hey uh wait a minute Dave yeah you know we also did some prime time specials and and they
had top 10 lists as well that's right a half a dozen friends uh Jay that's a good point where
is Jay Jay oh my God shoot off his arms and win Chief I'm sorry you chewed off his arms
and ran oh okay all right thank you very much I thought he'd make it through at least one episode
[Applause]
letter number three Dear Dave do you have any pets uh your pal Chris colavis Kobe
call us knockoff how come I can't pronounce this guy's name colosnikov kalosnikov that's
it uh cast legger how come I can't pronounce that for God's sake Castlegar British Columbia Canada
do I have any pets yeah I love pets I love the animals the animals love me and I'm always I'm
always getting new pets I'm always acquiring I'm always in the market for new pets I went
shopping just the other day and I remember gosh it was maybe I didn't have to do that
did I yeah I did it okay I'll take four of those little white mice a couple of hamsters
do you have any you don't have rats do you how about a field mouse [Applause] [Music]
delicious now back to the CBS [Applause]
yeah that's when I am I feel sorry I feel sorry for the Dunkin Donuts people they they
have one one they get caught once with a rodent infestation and you know they're out of business
they're bringing they're crumbling that great institution to Dunkin Donuts the truth is you
live in New York City there are mice and rats and and and gerbils and goats and stuff running around
every major Hospital in the city has a rat problem in their operating rooms
really it's a fact of right in the operating room in their operating
rooms are constantly jumping up on the patient while [Applause]
you know they get squirting him with the ether yeah [Applause]
see we got him there oh we have it they're in the control room and I tell you I'll tell
you where there's a lot of rats in New York City the CBS programming Department
okay here we go this is what I've been waiting for all week this next thing I'm so excited about this
because they were here last week and I was excited about it then and they're here again tonight I'm
really excited now okay Dear Dave letter number four begins every political analyst is trying
to give advice on how President Clinton should try to settle this whole mess what would your
advice be uh Molly top well uh Molly talk to me girlfriend this whole thing is really really got
me very confused I don't know which end is up ah Dave yes Paul uh I I'm not sure if this will help
but I've written a little song Sid oh my little song yeah it's a little song okay to help people
remember the names of all the presidents who have been impeached and so with the kind permission
of you folks here in the studio and those of you at home I'd like to perform it for you right now
[Music]
and how about those girls you're here last week nice to see you again thank
you for coming back and you good to have you again thank you very much for being
here rep there you go let's let's close up the old CBS mail back thanks [Music] letters
[Music] [Applause]