- So what do we have?
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
- White male, 20's,
dropping the N-word in front of his co-workers.
- Thompson, it is our duty
to stop these racist mishaps before they take place.
Bring him in.
- Is that a...
Is that a chocolate cigar?
- Yeah.
- Captain, you wanted to see me?
- Joe, what the hell took you so long?
- I was in the bathroom.
- Sorry, I told myself that I would stop yelling so much.
Joseph, meet your new partner, Detective Albert.
She's very impressive.
Top marks at the academy,
first in her class in--
- Sir.
You know I don't need a partner.
I do my best work alone.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Well that is not an option, Joe!
I need you to have backup.
Let's not forget about the rampant appropriation
that was October 29th 1989.
The darkest Diwali.
Too many sorries, not enough sorries.
Alright rook, let's see how long you last.
This is the red room,
where we receive all of our assignments.
And this is--
- This must be the Oracle who can see people
do racist things before they actually do them.
- That's a lucky guess.
We inform the minority bureau,
based off of the Oracle's premonitions.
We bring the culprits in front of Lady Justice.
- So we arrest them.
- Sort of.
We more so just give 'em like a...
Firm talking to, so.
(water splashing)
(gasping)
- How long was I under for?
- A minute thirty.
- Nice, new record.
- Yep.
- Hey Joseph.
Alright, Caucasian male at Theodore Paper Inc,
10 miles east from here.
- Cool.
We'll grab a late lunch,
and then we'll head there.
- Wait, what time did this crime occur?
- 1:30.
- Shit, we gotta move, Rook.
(horn honking)
Move, move!
- Take a left up here.
(tires squealing)
No, a right, a right.
- God dammit, Rook, this is a life or death situation.
(rap music playing)
- What time is it?
- I don't know.
- I'm just like "Wattup my sh--
What the hell are you doing?
- Sir, I'm going to need you to slowly
step away from your co-workers.
- What's going on?
- Sir, what you were about to say
is not permitted by your race.
- Oh come on, but these--
- Stop, please don't do this.
You're hurting more than you're helping.
- But what if I--
- No.
- Or if I--
- No.
- What if there's a rap song,
and I'm rappin' along and I--
- [Coworker] I swear to god, I'm gonna beat your ass.
- Okay, yeah, uhm...
I am so incredibly sorry, I just...
I think I really admire you guys,
and I think you're super cool.
And deep down I wanted to feel cool too,
and so that was wrong.
- Hey man,
you know what's cool?
- My personality?
- No.
Not getting swung on.
- Oh.
- Plus we know you'll get fired if you do say it, so.
- Wait, what?
- Thank you.
(applauding)
- We're just doing our job.
- Am I really getting fired?
Hey, what's up man?
- That was a good one-two back there.
- Don't get cocky.
Usually that last one doesn't get through to people,
until a few hours of arguing,
and two plays of To Pimp a Butterfly.
- So it doesn't get easier from here.
- It doesn't.
But you'll get better.
Come on partner.
I got a two-for-one deal at the Cheesecake Factory.
- [Dispatcher On Radio] Calling all cars, calling all cars.
We've got a young woman wearing a Native American
head dress at Coachella, over.
- Rain check?
- Rain check.
(soft ballad playing)
(indistinct rapping)