How to overcome the generation gap? Part 1
Everyone staying at home.
It's a challenge right.
Before the world was big.
So people in the family would go around.
They will do their things.
And elders as seniors,
you would also meet with your friends, you would go around.
But now in the situation you're locked up in the house.
And you have to be with your children and the grandchildren.
And the generation gap is so much.
First of all, there is a generation gap between you and your children.
In some houses there are 3 generations, 4 generations,
And if 3, 4 generations of people have to be in a place,
the whole time locked up,
it is challenging.
Now, what is the attitude that we have to take as senior citizens?
One thing is that as elders of the house,
we have a tendency to control.
We feel that everything should be in control.
Because we are wise, we know, we have experienced,
and when kids are going haywire,
we are concerned for the welfare of our children.
Their life should be comfortable.
This is your intention, this is your idea.
So you want to steer the family the way you want to take it.
Safe, secure and for everyone to be prosperous and happy.
This is the only goal of all senior citizens.
But in the process what happens?
We need to curtail sometimes,
the wishes of our children and grandchildren.
Because they have wild ideas and we feel that these ideas will not work.
Or this will be very difficult.
Or this will be really risky.
As senior citizen you don't want to take a risk.
You want things to be smooth.
Because you have seen life in its many facets.
Ups and downs, everything.
But I want to tell you, you know?
You have to give them certain room.
Though your intentions are right.
You should not appear as though you're controlling.
There is a saying in Sanskrit: “Aprapti Shodashe varshe putra mitra vadarcharit”
Our son or daughter become 16 years,
behave with them like a friend.
See, with children you have an authority.
But with friends you have only persuasion and requests.
So, if senior citizens take this attitude of persuasionn instead of authority,
you know, there will be so much more harmony between you and your next generation.
And the generation after that with them.
Cordiality, that anyway you have,
you have soft corner for them.
Sometimes you give them more room than they should really be given.
This would irritate their parents that is your children.
So, all these complications happen. In this complication,
the best attitude for us is,
you know how to ride a horse? Miraliji knows how to ride a horse.
You had to pull in the rein sometimes and let it loose sometimes.
If you keep it pulled, the horse will not go move forward,
and if you leave it loose then it will go wherever it wants to.
So, as seniors we need to have that knack, that skill off reining in and letting go.
Give them some room to make mistakes.
Don't hold it very tight because when you hold it very tight,
anyway they're not going to listen to you and then what is happening?
You get upset.
As senior citizens don't get depressed and keep a long face.
You should be cheerful always.
That sense of humor from you will make the whole atmosphere in the family better.
Every day sit with them, tell them some experiences of yours,
tell them about your family tree, tell them about your grandfather.
Your, you know, that something that would interest them.
That would trigger that interest in them.
You can do all of this if you're cheerful, if you're happy.
Just take one sankalpa, one determination.
Come what may, I'm not going to lose my smile,
I'm not going to lose my mind.
I've lived nicely, I'm complete, I'm satisfied.
This attitude in you when it gets ingrained.
I'm here only to give advices.
Whether they take it or not is none of my business.
I'm not here to control.
You will create heaven at home.
But if you want to control, if you are upset, if you're negative,
very quickly it spreads to every member of the family.
And everyone becomes miserable.
Nobody can hurt you if you don't want to.
Never care for anybody’s hurtful words, don't take them in. Number 1.
Number 2: keep a cheerful mood.
You have to create for yourself.
Third: spend time in philosophy.
Knowledge, wisdom, meditation.
If you can do simple yoga, you can do it.
If you cannot do, do some pranayama or meditation.
There are many ways, many creative ways we can think of,
spending our time and creating harmony and happiness in the family, right?
First and foremost, you need to keep yourself happy.
I don't say you need to keep yourself busy.
I'm saying you have to keep your spirit high and keep yourself happy.