♪ Love to eat turkey 'cause it's good ♪
♪ Love to eat the turkey like a good boy should ♪
♪ 'Cause it's turkey to eat, so good ♪
♪♪♪
-Welcome. Thank you for coming.
As you may know, there are over 200 Christmas songs listed
in the Library of Congress,
yet not a single song about Thanksgiving.
And that's why we here at
the National Endowment for the Arts
are awarding a $10,000 grant
to whomever can come up
with the song that best conveys
the true spirit of Thanksgiving.
So if the first applicant is ready, let's begin.
-[ Slurring ] How ya doin'?
I'm Sally Watkins, and I'm from New Orleans.
[ Slinky jazz music plays ]
♪ They say it's once again time for turkey ♪
♪ Hey, baby, have you heard the news? ♪
♪ Don't wanna hear no crap about the Pilgrims ♪
♪ Just give me my bottle of booze ♪
♪ Thanksgiving fever ♪
-Terrific.
Terrific.
Wh-Wh-What a nice Thanksgiving message.
We'll let you know.
Okay, who's next?
-Howdy, I'm, uh...
I'm Rusty Hutchins from Knoxville.
[ Country music plays ]
♪ Spent Thanksgiving at a local strip bar ♪
♪ Got drunk and came home late ♪
♪ Found a pile of cigarettes ♪
♪ A-sitting on a paper plate ♪
♪ Called out for sweet Lucinda ♪
♪ But she left me, can't you see? ♪
♪ Ain't nothin' left to be a-thankful for ♪
♪ The only turkey here is me ♪
♪♪♪
-Thank -- Thanks for that.
Keep in touch.
Okay, what have we here?
-Bernie from Kingston!
So let it come down!
[ Reggae music plays ]
♪ I got a big fat turkey and a plate of giblets ♪
♪ I got the cranberry sauce, I got the pumpkin pie ♪
♪ I got the cornucopia, I got the ganja, man ♪
♪ I said gobble gobble, I said gobble, gobble, munch ♪
[ Trilling ]
Bam!
-Very well, Bernie. That was very informative.
Thank you. Next.
[ Bernie shouts ]
-Yeah, we know.
-I'm Cinder... from Berkeley.
[ Folk guitar playing ]
You know, Thanksgiving is a time when we give thanks.
But I don't think the turkey
has too much to be thankful for.
Do you?
♪ What if the stuffing was you, man? ♪
♪ What if the gravy was, too? ♪
♪ What if you were the turkey? ♪
♪ What if the turkey was you? ♪
-Thanks. Sorry.
We don't validate parking.
All right, next?
[ Heavy metal rock music plays ]
♪ I'm cuttin' white meat turkey ♪
♪ Got me cuttin' like a knife ♪
♪ No future in sight ♪
♪ For the white meat turkey ♪
♪ Devil turkey ♪
♪ I need a cross ♪
[ Guitar feedback squeals ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-All right. Can we get another mic in here?
You're a talented man. Best of luck.
All right, moving along.
-I'm Byron from Detroit.
[ Slow R&B music plays ]
Hey, baby. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks. I wanna give you some giving.
What's that, baby? You want some dark meat?
Now I know that sounded sexual,
but I was referring to the portion of the turkey.
With that said, I'd also like
to lick your cranberries
and put my stuffing between your thighs.
♪ This Thanksgiving time ♪
♪ It's Thanksgiving time ♪
♪ I just want a piece of your pumpkin pie ♪
♪ Yeah, it's Thanksgiving time ♪
♪ It's Thanksgiving time ♪
♪ I just want a piece of your pumpkin pie ♪
You like that, baby?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
-Yes, I'm sure you do want a piece of pumpkin pie, sir.
All right. Let's have our final applicant.
Whenever you're ready, fellas.
-Tommy and Steven.
-And we're from Orlando!
[ Show tune plays ]
-♪ Shine the spoons ♪
♪ Shine the forks ♪
-♪ Stuff your face ♪
-♪ Pop the corks ♪
-♪ Thanks for this, thanks for that ♪
♪ Go ahead, you turkey ♪
♪ Baste us ♪
[ Both giggling ]
-Th-- [ Clears throat ]
Thank you, gentlemen.
And uh, thank you, everyone who has auditioned today.
Let's take a break
and then we'll take a look at some more people.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Tonight, we start what we hope will become
a "Weekend Update" tradition.
Every Thanksgiving from now on, a different "SNL" performer
will compose and sing an original song
to commemorate the holiday.
We couldn't think of a better person to begin this tradition
than our own Adam Sandler.
-Aww, thank you.
Thank you, Kevin. That's nice of you.
Thank you.
-All right, Adam. Are you ready?
-Yes, I am, Kevin.
I've worked all week on my song,
and I hope you'll be entertained and a little moved.
♪ Love to eat turkey ♪
♪ Love to eat turkey 'cause it's good ♪
♪ Love to eat the turkey like a good boy should ♪
♪ 'Cause it's turkey to eat, so good ♪
♪ A turkey for me, turkey for you ♪
♪ Let's eat turkey in a big, brown shoe ♪
♪ Love to eat the turkey at the table ♪
♪ I once saw a movie with Betty Grable ♪
♪ Eat that turkey all night long ♪
♪ 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong ♪
♪ Turkey turkey dee, turkey turkey dap ♪
♪ I eat the turkey, and I take a nap ♪
♪ Thanksgiving ♪
♪ Is a special night ♪
♪ Jimmie Walker ♪
♪ Used to say "dynamite" ♪
That's right!
♪ Turkey with the gravy and the cranberry ♪
♪ Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry ♪
♪ Turkey for you and turkey for me ♪
♪ Can't believe Tyson gave the girl VD ♪
Uh... [ Chuckles ]
♪ A-gobble gobble dee, gobble gobble dawkie ♪
♪ I used to go to camp at Lake Winnipesaukee ♪
Come on, Kevin.
-No, that's okay.
-Oh, it'll be fun.
-Okay.
-♪ Turkey for me and turkey for you ♪
♪ Let's eat turkey in a big, brown shoe ♪
♪ Turkey-lee-dee and turkey-lee-duffing ♪
♪ I love to eat the turkey with a lot of stuffing ♪
♪ Turkey and sweet potato pie ♪
♪ Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye ♪
♪ Oh, turkey with the girls and turkey with the boys ♪
♪ My favorite kind of pants are corduroys ♪
♪ Gobble gobble gee and gobble gobble gickle ♪
♪ I wish turkey could only cost a nickel ♪
♪ Oh, I love turkey ♪
♪ On Thanksgivi-i-i-i-ing ♪
-Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
Good man. Thank you!
♪♪♪