(upbeat music)
- Wuhan, China, home of the worst reviewed farmer's market
on Yelp.
It has been eight months since the coronavirus
began spreading and Wuhan,
but now things are back to normal there,
and the people have decided it's time to celebrate.
- We're gonna turn out to these stunning images
out of Wuhan China, take a look,
a massive concert and pool party right there in the viruses
initial epicenter, city hasn't reported any new cases
since mid May, but you can see they're thousands
of party goers, they're at a waterpark
for an electronic music festival, packed close together,
no masks, you'll remember Wuhan
was on lockdown for three months,
one of the strictest in the world.
- Okay, look, I mean,
I understand that Wuhan has had no cases in months,
so on the one hand sure, enjoy your party.
But on the other hand,
the rest of the world does have a shitload
of coronavirus cases and Wuhan is the place that started it.
I mean, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, man,
if your house catches fire
and then the whole town burns down,
it's okay if you rebuild first, I can't hate you for that,
but you don't throw a house party
while we're all still sleeping on our front lawns.
I mean, maybe it's just me,
but it feels a little tasteless to have a pool party
in the ground zero of a lethal pandemic.
What are they gonna do next?
They're gonna hire a Corona mascot?
Hey kids, it's me Corona, and I'm coming for your grandpa.
(Trevor laughing)
I mean, I will say though,
at least this gives us something to look forward to.
You know, I can't wait for the time
when you don't have to worry about corona anymore
and it's safe to go out and catch all the normal diseases
that you catch at water parks.
'Cause I don't care what anybody says,
a pool is just a giant bathtub, that's also a toilet.
(upbeat music)
New Zealand was the first country
to declare itself COVID free.
But now after three months of no corona,
the land of hobbits is back in emergency mode.
- [Man] Overseas, the prime minister of New Zealand
has delayed the national election for four weeks,
after about 50 people were infected in Auckland,
that's the country's biggest city.
Before the new outbreak, New Zealand had gone
more than 100 days without any known community spread.
- Yes, New Zealand is now delaying its national election
by four weeks because of an outbreak of 50 people.
And I know 50 people doesn't sound like a lot,
but that's like a third of their population.
Yeah, they have 150 people and 27 million sheep.
And you know, this is the one difference between America
and other countries.
Like other countries are loose with their election laws.
You know, they're like, yeah, let's do an election
in a month, we can delay it, whatever.
But America doesn't play those games.
America treats election laws like God told them
directly to Thomas Jefferson.
Elections must be the first Tuesday
after the first Monday of November.
Never in December because that's my son's birthday,
not January or February.
It's like really cold.
March is for basketball, we all know that.
April is for fools.
(laughs) Get it.
And then in may, that's like summer
and we don't do shit in summer.
So yeah, I'm thinking November.
What do you think Tommy?
Now at the same time, I can't front,
America's system really protects democracy
because if you have laws that are too loose
and then you get the wrong leader, like say a Donald Trump,
which I know would never happen,
that can cause chaos because best believe
if Donald Trump could postpone the elections
because of coronavirus,
he would be testing through the roof.
Hell, he'd probably pretend to get coronavirus
every single month.
Guys, I'm afraid we're gonna have to postpone the election
for two more years.
'Cause like, you know that feeling when you're not sick,
but you're gonna be sick, that's totally me right now,
sickish, but not, but totally sometimes could be.
Okay, bye bye.
(upbeat music)
The Republican National Convention,
the first and only time Donald Trump has renewed his vows.
And going into the convention,
I thought it was gonna be tough for Donald Trump
to sell himself for another four years.
I mean, mostly because you know, we live in
a plague scarred hellscape, where 180,000 people have died
and we can't go to a movie or hug our grandparents,
but then I watched the convention
and guys, it turns out that Donald Trump
has actually done a really good job
by preventing all of that from happening.
- [Woman] From the very beginning Democrats,
the media and the World Health Organization
got coronavirus wrong.
One leader took decisive action to save lives.
President Donald Trump.
- The president quickly took action
and shut down travel from China.
- Donald Trump's quick action
and leadership saved thousands of lives during COVID-19.
- President Trump truly moved mountains to save lives
and he deserves credit.
- Just imagine what 2020 would have looked like
fighting for your life without Donald Trump
fighting for it too?
- Oh, imagine what 2020 would have been like
without Donald Trump?
Hey, do you wanna go eat dinner inside a restaurant?
Okay, cool, I'll see you then.
You're right, that would have sucked.
Essentially they're trying to convince everyone
that this massive failure is actually a massive achievement,
which is not something normal people do
when they apply for a job.
I see on your resume here,
it says that you crashed a car into Dunkin Donuts?
Yeah, dude.
But it would have been like a lot worse
if Joe Biden was driving.
And it's especially crazy, considering that at the last RNC,
all they talked about
was the four dead Americans in Benghazi.
But now they're acting like Trump did a great job
by only having 45,000 Bengazis.
But I guess it's true, without Trump taking any action,
millions more Americans could have died,
so good on Republicans
for seeing the glass of bleach half full.
(upbeat music)
Trump finds himself down big in the polls to Joe Biden.
In large part because of his handling of the coronavirus.
It has been an absolute disaster.
So now Trump is trying to change that perception
with some fresh blood.
- President Trump has announced
an emergency authorization for a coronavirus treatment
that his administration hails as a quote, major advance.
- President Trump making that dramatic announcement
late Sunday that the FDA has authorized
the use of convalescent plasma for emergencies.
But now some Democrats are demanding answers,
asking if the FDA is being pressured by a president
locked in a tough reelection battle.
- [Woman] The decision for emergency use
comes after an internal debate at the FDA
over whether the agency had enough data
to authorize such a move.
It also comes a day after the president,
without any evidence, accused the FDA
of impeding clinical trials for political reasons.
Tweeting Saturday, "The deep state or whoever over
"at the FDA is making it very difficult
"for drug companies to get people
"in order to test the vaccines and therapeutics."
- God damn, Trump hasn't bullied nerds this hard
since he forced one to take his SATs for him.
I mean, we all want a cure for COVID,
but new medicines shouldn't be rushed out to the public
like they're Taco Bell menu items.
And I mean, of course Trump has a problem with the FDA.
They're the same ones who told him how many calories
are in his burgers.
If these things are 800 calories a piece,
then how come I can eat 10 of them.
Still, let's try to be positive here.
Even if these treatments aren't proven safe or effective,
maybe they'll work and coronavirus will be gone.
And then the only reason we will need to wear masks
is to hide our brand new mutant faces.
(upbeat music)
For months now, the CDC has been saying
that the key to getting the pandemic under control
is testing, testing, and more testing.
And then yesterday something changed.
- [Man] After months of telling Americans
that if they're exposed to someone with the coronavirus
that they should get tested,
the CDC is now saying there's no need in most cases,
if you have no symptoms.
And the New York Times is reporting
that the change was ordered from the top down,
by the president who believes that bad numbers
are meant to hurt his reelection campaign
and has said over and over that more tests
drive up the numbers of COVID-19 cases.
The nation's top infectious disease doctor,
Anthony Fauci says this was done without him.
He was under anesthesia and surgery when this was approved.
- This is the shadiest thing I have ever seen.
President Trump is apparently sabotaging
America's coronavirus response
because he doesn't like the look of high case numbers?
This guy is special.
'Cause clearly he doesn't care if a problem is solved,
he only cares if it has the appearance of being solved.
I wouldn't be shocked if all the fire extinguishers
in his buildings are just painted on.
We need to get, what the, who the, who would do this?
Who would do this?
And if that wasn't bad enough,
they waited until Dr. Fauci was having surgery
before they did this, guys come on, man.
I can't believe that Trump went behind Fauci's back
while the man was in the hospital.
That's like cheating on your wife while she's pregnant.
Which Trump also did, so nevermind,
I guess I can believe it.
Although, now it finally makes sense
why Trump kept offering to buy Fauci a boob job.
I think you should consider it, Anthony.
A lot of people will pay more attention to you.
In fact, just thinking about it,
I'm paying more attention to you right now.
So big, but this is why my friends from now on,
we cannot afford to have Fauci unconscious for any reason.
No surgery, no sleep, no watching Mike Pence give a speech,
nothing that knocks you out.
At the very least, if Fauci is incapacitated,
we need like a mini vice Fauci who can take over
at any time.
(upbeat music)