hi everyone losing a loved one to suicide is a difficult and painful experience and it's natural
to feel a range of emotions including shock anger guilt and sadness coping with the suicide loss of
a loved one can be a long and challenging process but there are things that you can
do to help yourself through the grief and loss process and in today's video we're going to be
focusing on some of the things you can do to cope in the aftermath of a loved one suicide before I
get into that just a couple of disclaimers to go over I'm a registered psychologist in the province
of British Columbia Canada and this video is for informational purposes only it is not intended
as a substitute for replacement for advice from your doctor or mental health professional
now with those things out of the way let's start talking about coping with suicide
now it's important to point out that suicide involves the death of a loved one and it's natural
to experience a sense of grief and mourning associated with the loss of someone that you loved
however this grief and mourning can be complicated in the case of suicide and I've done a previous
video on some of the complex emotions and thoughts that you might experience following
the death of a loved one from suicide so if you're interested in learning more about that
I'd encourage you to check out that video as well so without understanding that the
grief and mourning process and suicide can be more complicated what are some of the things
that you can do following the suicide death of a loved one well one of the first things to do is
to allow yourself to feel a range of emotions it's normal to experience a wide scope a wide range of
emotions after a loved one suicide including things like shock anger guilt and sadness
it's important to allow yourself to feel and express these emotions in a healthy way
so part of this is understanding that these varied and potentially confusing emotions are normal
following a suicide death and it's important not to try and suppress or push these emotions
away because they're confusing or uncomfortable now the next thing as obvious as this may sound
it's extremely important to make sure that you're taking care of yourself following the
suicide death of a loved one you need to take time to rest and care for your physical and
emotional needs and it's important to prioritize self-care following the death of your loved one
now this is far easier said than done as there are often numerous demands that can fall upon
you following the sudden death of a loved one including things like funeral arrangements
dealing with their estate supporting other family members who are grieving with the sudden loss
it can be easy to get caught up in all of these other things and what ends up happening is that
you lose sight of taking care of yourself and this runs the risk of burnout so what do I mean when I
say it's important to take care of yourself the idea is to engage in activities that put
fuel back into your gas tank things like making sure you're eating well trying to get enough
sleep getting physical exercise taking time to rest and even trying to engage in activities or
hobbies that you enjoy doing even if you have no interest or desire in doing those activities these
are all important for maintaining your physical and emotional well-being and ensuring that your
gas tank doesn't get drained it's important to reach out for support and to build a supportive
network of people that you can talk to about your feelings and the loss you've experienced following
the suicide death of your loved ones this can include talking to friends and family sharing
your feelings and Thoughts with loved ones you trust and who will listen and support you uh if
you're part of a faith community or a religious community seeking out support from members of
those communities even for very practical needs such as helping out with meals or child care
uh you might want to consider joining the suicide Survivor support group support groups
provide a safe and confidential space to talk to other people who've experienced similar losses
they can be a valuable way to connect with people who understand what you're
going through and and learn and share different coping strategies that that they may have found
helpful or that you found helpful and you could share those with other people
you may also want to seek out professional help a psychologists therapist or counselor
can provide guidance and support as you navigate the grieving process it can also help you process
the complex emotions and thoughts that you might have following the suicide loss of your loved one
another important way of coping with the suicide loss of a loved one is to talk
about your loved one talking about a loved one who's died by Suicide can be really difficult
but it's also an important part of the grieving process by talking about them you remember and
honor them talking about your loved one can help keep their memory alive and honor
the life they lived rather than having their death obscure their memory talking about them
and their suicide death can help you process emotions such as grief guilt anger and confusion
and by talking through these emotions you could find ways of coping with them talking about
your loved one can help you make sense of what happened and find some closure in the situation
it can also be important in reducing the stigma of suicide talking openly and honestly about suicide
can help reduce the feelings of stigma and shame that often surrounds suicide death and it might
encourage other people to reach out for help and support if they're feeling those types of things
another important step in coping with the suicide death of a loved one is to find ways
to honor their memory this can include things like creating a memorial for your loved one
you might find it comforting to create a physical space in your home or some object
to remember your loved one buys things like making a memory board or having a scrapbook
of pictures and memories of your loved one related to this you may want to plant a tree
in their memory by doing so you're planting someone in your loved one's memory that will
grow and Thrive over time and it can be a place that you can go to to remember your loved one
you can participate in activities that were meaningful to your loved one you might find
it comforting to engage in activities or hobbies that your loved one enjoyed doing
you might find it helpful to donate to a cause that was important to your loved one if your loved
one supported a particular cause if they were interested in Environmental Protection taking
care of animals political activism cancer research whatever it was that they were passionate about
you might want to think of ways of making a donation in their memories to organizations
that supported those causes it can be important to share your loved one's story you might find
it healing to share about your loved one's life and their struggles in order to raise awareness
about mental health and suicide prevention in this way you might find some sense of meaning
in their loss Additionally you might find it comforting to share about your loved one's life
and the positive impact they had on the world and other people and in this way you honor the
life they lived rather than just allowing the way they died to Define their life and their memory
another way of coping with the suicide loss of a loved one is to educate yourself about suicide
there can be lots of stigma related to suicide and you may have held beliefs
about suicide that now conflict with how you feel about your loved one who took their life
by better understanding some of the common emotional reactions and thoughts associated
with the loss of a loved one to Suicide it can help normalize how you're feeling
you might have never realized how common it is for people to experience complex emotions such
as anger and guilt following the suicide death of a loved one and by being aware of
these normal emotional reactions you you're in a better position to take steps to manage
feelings of anger and guilt so for example if you find yourself extremely angry following the
suicide death of your loved one it's important to identify the source or sources of your anger
this can include taking some time to think about what specifically is making you angry about
your death is it your loved one's decision to end their own life are you angry at them because they
essentially killed someone that you loved are you angry at other people or circumstances that you
feel played a role in their suicide other family members their job their doctor are you angry at
yourself for not recognizing what they were going through or not doing more to have helped them
by better understanding the source of your anger you can begin to start working through the anger
and getting a sense of how realistic or reasonable these anger-provoking thoughts actually are
it's also really important to find healthy ways to express anger rather than bottling
it up or lashing out at other people and some healthy ways of expressing or managing anger
include things like getting exercise journaling or talking to a trusted friend or family member
about how you're feeling so that they may be able to give you a different perspective on
the situation that is less anger provoking it's important to understand that there is no one best
way to cope after a suicide death the grieving process is unique for every person and some of
the skills in these tools and these tips I've talked about may not be helpful for you some of
them may but probably not all of them will be the key is to be patient with yourself understanding
that the process of healing after a suicide loss can be a long and difficult Journey it's
important to be kind and patient with yourself giving yourself time to heal and recognizing that
you will never be the same as you were prior to their death and I hope that some of these ideas
that I've talked about in the today's video can give you a bit of comfort in your healing process
if you want to learn more about common emotional reactions and thoughts following the suicide death
of a loved one I'd encourage you to check this video out so that's all for today's video thank
you for making it all the way to the end of this video and I'll see you in the next one