Hello underachievers!
Wow, that was a lot.
I'm bisexual
and I have been for maybe a few years,
two, three, four? Who knows?
And I know that's probably not how sexuality works,
I've probably been bisexual for longer than that,
maybe my entire life.
But right now, currently, in the current state in my life,
I'm just feeling so bisexual.
I want to kiss everybody.
No, not everybody.
Not this guy.
I want to kiss all my friends,
I want to kiss all my friends friends,
I just want to-- I just--
Everyone is attractive, right.
I'm clearly going through something.
But I've just never felt more bisexual.
Are you guys bisexual?
Is that why you're watching this?
Are you gay?
I was gay...
And then I got better.
That was a joke, in poor taste.
It baffles me that I used to think I was gay,
just only into men.
That is wild to me right now.
And because I'm just so overwhelmed by bisexuality right now
as if it was a sickness,
because of the current state of my sexuality right now,
in its ill health,
I just thought I should react to bisexual memes,
because why would I not?
I know you want it.
No, no, ignore that.
That's not how I meant.
Before I show you the memes,
I obviously just got to do my thing.
I'm going on tour in the UK, and in Dublin and Belfast in October.
Here are the tour dates.
Tickets are really cheap.
I'm pretty sure they're all under 20 pounds,
and we also have VIP tickets,
so if you want to meet me,
want to hang out, want to get pictures...
And also my brand new song, "Growing Up On the Internet",
a song I wrote about growing up on the Internet, crazy that,
I think a lot of you may relate.
That's out on August 31st.
You can pre-save that,
or stream it from the link in the description,
depending on when you watch this video.
So, the first meme...
The first meme...
It says, "are you gay?"
Yeah, but no.
Well, that's kind-- Yeah, well...
I didn't even look at this meme.
"Are you gay?"
"Yes".
"I'm bi, but I love saying 'I'm gay' ".
This one exactly!
This one, absolutely.
I feel this one before I realized I was bi
and I thought I was just gay,
I was like, "you need to stop saying that!
"If you're not gay, stop calling yourself gay!"
My neighbors are outside just emptying the bins
and I'm so aware of them.
I was like, "be for real,
"words have definitions and you shouldn't misuse them".
Who cares? I'm gay.
I'm also bi.
We know how it goes.
If you're new here,
"gay" is commonly used as an umbrella term
to encompass more than just gay.
It could encompass "lesbian",
it could encompass "bisexual", "pansexual"...
Just "not straight".
I think if you were straight and you called yourself "gay",
then I would probably have a problem.
Unless you mean "gay" as in happy",
but like, you don't.
You don't do that.
There's just something so sonically nice about the word "gay",
about saying "gay".
It's the "guh", it's the "G",
it's the "guh" of the "G" of the "gay".
I am gay.
I'm bi.
Yeah, I'm bi.
It's cool!
"Bi" for me, feels cooler.
That is not a reflection of what I think about the sexuality,
just the word, okay?
Before I get comments saying I'm trying to convert gays now
and not just young impressionable children.
Why did I say that?
Next up, of course, we have a Bible reading.
We've read the Bible before.
Have you read the Bible? Yes or no?
I actually have.
"The Bible said Adam AND Eve so I slept with them both".
Yeah, yeah, yes.
"Well, it's the Bible not the straightble.
"I'm just following the book".
It's true.
How can you be upset?
How could you possibly be upset with that?
I'm not particularly sure
if I would want to sleep with Adam and Eve, personally.
I feel like they'd be kind of boring.
In my head right now, I feel like so obnoxious.
Like, the thoughts that I have feel so obnoxious.
Everybody that I know is bi.
Not everybody, most people.
None of them are straight, apart from some of them,
but they're the nice, they're the token straights.
And they're very nice.
But I have so many conversations now with bi people
where I'm just like, I just can't comprehend
not being into all kinds of people.
And I know that people have like, preferences for like, whatever.
Like genitals, gender, that's cool.
I just, I can't understand the life experience
of not being attracted to all genders,
even though that's how I felt like, four years ago.
I don't know.
I feel like this is interesting.
Did you guys' sexuality kind of change?
Or like, when you felt more comfortable with yourself,
did you feel more comfortable exploring stuff?
Like, how did it change for you?
Because I don't feel like I'm insane, but like, in my brain,
I am just like,
how did I ever think I wasn't into women?
How could I ever think that?
But nah, Adam and Eve...
Nah...
Here's a terrible quality screenshot from 2019.
"Seeing a lot of tweets about bisexuals--
That's age.
Do you mean "seeing a lot of Xs"?
Twitter's X now.
They're called posts-- Anyway.
"Seeing a lot of tweets about bisexuals today,
"so once again here's a little grammar lesson".
The prefix in bisexual isn't actually "bi", it's "bis",
abbreviated for "biscuit".
Biscuit.
And not those silly biscuits that you have in America,
you silly Americans.
The real biscuits, like custard creams,
or bourbons,
or digestive biscuits.
Chocolate or caramel digested, oh...
And "exual", Latin for "actually".
"Bisexual equals 'actually a biscuit' ".
Oh, yeah!
Dunk me in milk
and then leave me at the bottom of your mug.
And then forget about me.
And then, when you remember,
you get a spoon,
and you scoop it up real good
and you [...], is that-- No, that's just, that's weird...
It's very good.
This is a silly meme.
I rate that silly out of 10.
Next up we have some artwork.
Some wonderful, beautiful artwork.
"Swiggity pie, guess who's bi?
"Hint: It's me".
Now, this excites me,
but it also terrifies me.
Because-- I've spoken about this before.
It scares me that there are kids nowadays that come out via memes
or via jokes
or via anything else that isn't just like:
"Hey, by the way, I don't know..."
Actually, no.
It shouldn't concern me,
that's me being old.
Not me being old, but I am concerned!
For you and your parents.
If you're young
and you come out to your parents in this way,
I really hope that you know that they're supportive,
because if they're not...!
I terrified for you!
Like, my coming out was so dramatic
and I guess it's different when you're trans; like...
I feel like your parents don't have to completely re-evaluate
the way they see you as a person when you come out as bi.
And if they do,
they probably have to be doing
some reevaluation of their own internal thoughts.
But I came out as trans...
That's a massive deal.
I changed my body,
I change how I looked,
I changed the language that people use for me...
Like, all that kind of stuff.
You come out as bi and your parents are just like:
"Oh, okay, well...
"You sleep with this and this as well".
You don't have to re-evaluate.
So I guess maybe this is appropriate.
This is a good way to come out.
I don't want to encourage people to come out to their parents
in a way that, maybe, if their parents are not expecting it,
it might not go well.
I don't want to do that.
I like the art, though.
So, the next meme is of a dolphin,
which, by the way,
Dolphins used to be my favorite animal for a little bit when I was a kid
and I found out they're horrible.
They're not nice, don't Google it.
"Get told to 'choose a side'
"I didn't know sexuality was a war now".
If sexuality was a war, would you be winning?
Where are you in your journey?
Currently, right now, I am winning.
I'm on top of the world!
I love everybody, I think everyone looks great.
But to be honest, sexuality was a war.
It really was a war.
I grew up only having crushes on men.
Also, I thought--
I definitely had a crush on Willow Smith when "Whip My Hair" came out.
As a 12-year-old, like...
I definitely had a crush on Azealia Banks,
which is funny considering...
All that.
- So?
- But I thought that I only had crushes on guys!
And then when I went to school,
everything was great, until everybody started hting puberty
and then they started being weird around each other.
Like, boys were weird around girls,
girls were weird around boys
and everyone thought I was a lesbian!
And that was a war for me, because I was not a lesbian.
At that point in my life, I thought I was a gay guy.
I was a man who liked men.
That is kind of the opposite!
I felt very misunderstood!
So, I feel like that is probably why I rejected,
even the thought of being into girls,
because the thought of people thinking of me as a lesbian,
to me, when I was a kid, a lesbian, was like,
so girl, you know what I mean?
It wasn't just girl,
it was like "girl and I love girls",
you see what I'm saying?
So it was so hard for me to realize that I liked girls
and then, add having boobs, on top of that,
and having gender dysphoria
and being disgusted at my own body...
And like, I proyected that onto like, all women.
I was like, "I can't!
"I can't look at a naked women!
"The women's bodies...!"
And now I love them.
It was a war until I got my tits chopped off.
That was my peace treaty!
That was the peace treaty!
I removed the boob and all was well.
So, here's some maths for you.
I'm sorry, gay people.
I know we don't like maths.
It's a Venn diagram of bi people.
So, bi people have beauty inside and out,
they have killer puns and superpowers.
I'm trying to imagine the kind of person that made this meme.
Not to make fun.
I'm picturing maybe like, a 14-year-old and that's fine.
I don't have superpowers.
Although my mom does think I have beauty inside and out.
I love you, mom.
"Killer puns", not really.
I'm not a big pun guy.
This works for Corry, this applies to Corry.
Corry has superpowers, he just knows things.
He just gets things.
And he has killer puns as in...
They're really good,
but they're kind of really bad at the same time
and they kill me, they make me want to die.
Next up we have bisexual Spider-Man,
and apparently this is the inclusive version of Spider-Man.
I was going to call Spider-Man a twink,
and then I realized that he's like a teenager, right?
So I'm not going to do that.
Andrew Garfield Spider-Man, definitely bisexual, 100%.
Anyway, here's how it goes:
"Bi-derman, Bi-derman
"Does whatever a bi-der can".
We've not learned much.
We could do more with the lyrics.
"Kiss a man
"Sure why not?
"Loves NBs--"
Oh...
NBs...
Sorry.
Like, there's the whole thing online, like,
"NB" stands for "non black".
NB... Enbys.
Loves NBs.
"Thinks girls are hot
"Look out
"Here comes the Bi-derman".
I'm not... I'm not feeling it.
They could have done it better.
They could have made this more succinct.
I like the drawing, though.
It's good job.
"I put the Bi in Bitch".
I do like these memes.
I don't know why this format specifically,
it just makes me giggle.
Although he does look--
In the bottom left, look like he's pissing somewhere.
He's pissing against the wall.
Here's the next one!
"I'll go talk about non-binary people on a bisexual meme subreddit".
The pink glob is not happy, because...
Oh, God...
Here's some dumb things people have to say about bisexuality.
"Cuz it's just men and women,
"if you wanted to include nonbinary then use panexual, right?"
I just posted a video about it,
it's linked below, just don't...
I'm not...
"Liking genitals does determine your sexuality.
"What else you'd be attracted to?"
What? What?!
I don't know what Robert Patterson's [ ] looks like,
but I still find him hot!
In brackets, "conservative take".
Oh, this not someone... Okay, sure, next.
"I will try to answer this as respectfully as I can,
"but a biological male is not heterosexual
"if he feels sexually attracted to another biological male
"because they're the same sex.
"A trans woman is still a biological male,
"but she's still a woman.
"I hope I can get my point across.
"Sex is real, gender is something we made up
"and we could do just fine without it".
What?
Okay, this guy...
I know this is a man.
He's trying to say...
If a straight man is attracted to a trans woman,
then he's not straight.
And I think that's insane.
Like, really?
Like, are you trying to tell me
that Hunter Schaefer is not attractive as a straight guy?
Like, shut up.
Obviously, not just Hunter Schaefer, just like--
Trans women in general, what do you mean?
I'm not even going to read the other--
The point of this meme is there's too much arguing.
There is.
Who cares about the label?
Who cares, truthfully?
You?
Stop.
Stop that.
And finally, we have:
"Everyone's hot.
"Bottom text".
And I think that's enough.
I think this could encompass all bisexual memes.
Truthfully, I feel this.
Anyway!
That's the end of the video!
Did you enjoy the bisexual memes?
Are you bisexual?
Do you feel more bisexual
or less bisexual after watching this video?
Tell me now.
But yeah, check out my tour dates,
check out my new song,
have a good day or don't!
See you later losers.
Goodbye.
I am punching you,
there you go.