Hey guys! It's me.
6:12 on Sunday. Doing what I do best.
Let's backtrack a little so I can fill you in what happened within the past 16 hours
I felt lost most day yesterday racking my brain trying to figure out what video
to make this week, decided to check my email on a
whim, I try not on the weekends for that work-life balance and saw one from you beautiful souls
Recommending that I make a Sunday routine video.
So here I am getting all inspired braced up begin outlining this video
I broke down my Sunday into four quadrants of the mind, body, space and work and listed two things
I wanted to accomplish by the end of the day for each quadrant.
I felt like I was on top of the world it was that 'YES. I GAHT THIS. I know exactly what I'm doing' feeling.
Aaaaand this morning?
Weeell I woke up an hour and a half later than planned
But I told myself that's okay, because it's Sunday and really.. it's okay.
I took a shower, swapped my morning matcha for ginger latte
cuz time of the month and green tea is considered yin which is cold
which is not good for the lady parts.
(ps, currently my fav milk alt!)
And I stopped by the office for four hours.
Felicia: Coming out or in?
Ro: Out Fel: You smell like kitchen food!!!
Ro: You so sweatyyyy (how we show our love for eachother LOL)
Fel: I'm so sweaty *laughs*
I headed back home
I got home and realized:
no, I actually don't got this
I have no idea what I'm doing
I felt so cannot do anything and unmotivated
that I wanted to crawl into a hole
and as if my friend knew I was struggling bussing super hard
she just so happen to text me
and asked if I wanted to grab lunch
old me would have said no
because I have work to do
aka this video to make, since it's not gonna make itself
But because I've been trying this whole thing where I listen to myself my body more
and I've officially added trying to figure out why
I'm not feeling the best on today's to-do list.
I decided not to fight it and just do what I thought I needed in the moment
which is good company, good conversation and good food.
And that is exactly what I got.
Realization number-one. Friends and food. Always the answers say yes more,
don't be afraid to open up and be less of a hermit.
I came back home feeling much lighter. And here we are 6:12 on Sunday, doing what I do best.
By this point I still had zero idea what shape or form this video was going to take
but I'm starting to embrace the creative challenge a little more
instead of fighting it.
I looked over what I wrote last night,
which honestly wasn't half as bad as I thought this morning and started scripting out this video.
I also organized my calendar to-do list for the week cause I have self diagnosed ADHD
and doing a few things at once actually
helps ease my anxious soul and
especially when it can help me mentally map out the week ahead
and I'm sure by now we all know it's good to keep some sort of a calendar & to do list
and how it's helpful to look over and review on Sundays.
To prepare yourself for an awesome week ahead
So I won't drone on about this in this video
After a solid 30 minutes
I'm feeling far more at ease and grounded
maybe I do got this and I do have an idea what's going on :D
Realization number two:
If you've gone a while without listening to yourself and trusting yourself
listen to yourself and trust yourself!
Need a break? Take it.
Feeling better? Get back to work.
Since it's almost 8 p.m by this point
the name of the game is efficiency
how to manage my time to get the most done in the least amount of time
First order of business
I took a quick glance at the four squares and wrote out this to-do list to see how to best utilize my time.
Start with laundry because while it's going to take the most time you'll be able to do other stuff in between.
While waiting for laundry, do the dishes, thankfully I cleaned the apartment yesterday
so this is the only thing I needed to tidy up tonight. Pat on the back Rowena, good job.
While the laundry is drying, threw on a clay mask because my pores have been looking rough
and I just got this pore kit from Innisfree.
While waiting for the mask to dry, time for some pen to paper therapy
Within a few words I quickly realized how badly I've been neglecting what's most important
which is being in tune in and in check with myself.
I've been so busy with comparing myself to other people
and having insanely ambitious expectations for myself
that I momentarily forgot why I was even creating in the first place.
Realization number 3:
Less comparing myself to others, looking outward
and more reconnecting with myself, looking inward
Strive for completion, not for perfection.
As I wrote, I reminded myself of my North Star
of why I started my channel
of why I'm working on Beauty Within's channel
and for who I'm creating for:
My younger self
for her to feel less alone
For her to feel like she's not crazy for dreaming big
For her to have hope that things will get better if she believes in herself
and something greater than herself
A weight lifts off my chest
I feel like I can breathe again
and the alarm rings to rinse off le face mask
so dramatic, this one lol
So I wash off the clay mask, skin's looking pretty good.
I list a few things on eBay
brought up my laundry
and brained dumped some more, this time for work.
Which in honesty is just a continuation from earlier
I asked myself:
Why have you been working so hard?
For who and what have you been working for?
Why do you wake up as early as you do and leave work as late as you do?
To work long and hard for something you believe in is one thing
but to me working long and hard blindly without purpose is one of the most dangerous things
and this reminds me that 'busy' in Chinese is 忙 (máng)
the character on the left is 心 (xīn) which means heart
and the character on the right is 亡 (wang) which means to die
so does busy mean death of the heart?
Realization number 4:
'Don't busy yourself for the sake of busying yourself.'
Know why you're doing what you're doing always
This is something that I fall prey to a lot,
especially lately
I feel like busyness is equivalent to productivity
and to be productive I need to be busy all the time
but that's totally backwards.
It's to work efficiently
to make good use of your time
and to live a more balanced life between the extremes
cause I'm a very extreme person
So by this point, I'm exhausted
so there's no more b-roll
but I'm so content with what transpired from the day that started..
honestly not the best
and not as great as I would have liked
and I guess with all of this the last realization is that
'Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.'
Translation:
anything and everything is possible
If you really believe in yourself
and I think with all of this no matter how your day started
whether it was great or not-so-great.
No matter what happened throughout your day.
You and I have the power to turn our days around
and I just want to remind you guys that no matter how your day has been
that it can be the day you dream of :3
Like the perfect day you dream of
if you believe in yourself, and if you work hard on it
so with that thank you so much for watching!
Here's the biggest voice hug
I love you guys so much
Sorry there's no more b-roll at the end
it's been a.. it's been a long couple of weeks
But um I hope with this video,
I'm trying something new trying something creative
and with the upcoming videos
I want to challenge myself more
to do things that I haven't been doing
because I feel like self-care and like me sitting in front of the camera like what I've been doing
it's like it's turned into a routine, it's turned into kind of like a formula that you know
I want to spice it up a bit. So with that, I love you. Thank you so much for being here
I wish you have the best day ever and I love you. I already said that. Okay. Bye!
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