- HELLO, YOU TWO. - HELLO.
- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU WERE GREAT ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
VERY, VERY FUNNY. - THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- AND IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE SHOW.
- I'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE SHOW. THIS IS A PLEASURE.
- HOW COME? - I DON'T THINK I'VE BEEN ASKED.
- BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY. THAT'S WHY.
- I KNOW. I DON'T KNOW HOW--
- I CALL EVERY DAY, AND YET NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.
- IS THAT RIGHT?
THEN YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER,
'CAUSE I WOULD HAVE SAID, "COME OVER."
YOU ARE SO TALENTED.
FIRST OF ALL, I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOURS BUT OF "COSMOS."
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PRODUCED THAT SHOW.
- YEAH.
- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN "COSMOS,"
BUT THAT'S A BRILLIANT--
[cheers and applause]
YOU--SO IN THIS HERE MOVIE,
YOU WRITE, PRODUCE, DIRECT, STAR.
IN ADDITION TO THAT, AT THE TIME,
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF SHOWS:
"FAMILY GUY," "AMERICAN DAD," "THE CLEVELAND SHOW,"
UM...
- "MIKE & MOLLY" TOO IS MINE.
- [laughs] YOU'RE JUST GONNA ADD SHOWS TO IT?
DON'T BELIEVE HIM ON THAT ONE.
BUT IT REALLY--YOU COULD--
YOU'RE A VERY BUSY GUY.
- YEAH, YOU KNOW, ANYTHING TO CONFRONT THE--
NOT TO CONFRONT THE OTHER HALF OF MY LIFE.
I JUST LIKE TO DISTRACT MYSELF. - I SEE.
I MEAN, HOW IS IT TO WORK WITH SOMEONE
WHO'S ACTUALLY DOING ALL THOSE ROLES IN A MOVIE?
- IT--IT'S HARD TO BE HIS FRIEND...
- [laughs]
- BECAUSE HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU ARE REALLY JUST WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY.
- YES.
- WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING-- I DIDN'T KNOW
FOR, LIKE, THE FIRST MONTH THAT WE WERE SHOOTING
THAT ON THE WEEKENDS, HE WOULD GO DO--
WOULD BE WRITING THE SHOWS AND THEN WOULD GO AND RECORD
ALL OF THE SHOWS, ALL OF THE VOICES.
AND HE DOES ABOUT 680 VOICES.
AND, UM, I COULDN'T SPEAK ON A SATURDAY.
LIKE, I WAS SO EXHAUSTED FROM SHOOTING THE WEEK
THAT I WOULD JUST, LIKE, LIE IN MY BED
AND, LIKE, JUST MUMBLE THINGS AND POINT AT THINGS.
- RIGHT. [laughs]
- AND THEN WHEN WE CAME BACK HERE,
WE WERE HAVING LUNCH ONE DAY, AND OUT OF NOWHERE,
HE JUST GOES, "SO, YOU KNOW, IN MY OFF TIME
WHEN WE WERE DOING THE MOVIE, I WAS WRITING THIS NOVEL."
AND I JUST WENT, "THAT'S IT. I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE."
[laughter] - THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- "I WAS DROOLING ON MYSELF, AND YOU WROTE A NOVEL."
- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, YOU DO HAVE A SON
THAT YOU HAVE TO GO HOME AND TAKE CARE OF AT THE SAME TIME,
SO YOU'RE VERY BUSY.
- OKAY, WE'LL GO WITH THAT. WE'LL GO WITH THAT.
- YEAH. [laughter]
HOW IS YOUR SON? HOW IS HE?
- HE'S GREAT. HE'S GREAT.
AND THAT--YOU KNOW, HE PRETTY MUCH--
HE'S--I JUST SCORED BIG-TIME.
HE'S GREAT.
HE'S--SETH CALLS HIM "THE LITTLE REPUBLICAN."
- WHY IS THAT?
- 'CAUSE HE'S JUST ALWAYS SAYING, "NO."
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO."
EVERYTHING'S "NO."
"NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO.
NO, SETH, NO. MAMA, NO. NO."
THERE'S A LOT OF THAT.
- USUALLY, IT'S THE "WHY," ISN'T IT?
- NOT YET, NO. HE'S NOT THERE YET.
HE'S A LITTLE SLOW ON THE SPEECH,
BUT HE'S HITTING THE "NO" REALLY WELL.
- DOES HE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU DO?
- SO HE--I THINK--I DON'T KNOW IF HE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I DO,
BUT HE DEFINITELY KNOWS
WHEN HE SEES THE BILLBOARDS FOR THE POSTERS--
YOU KNOW, FOR THE MOVIE, HE KNOWS THAT'S ME.
AND HE WAS ON THE MOVIE WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING,
SO HE SAW ME IN THE COWBOY HAT AND EVERYTHING.
AND I WAS DRIVING HIM TO KINDERGARTEN TWO DAYS AGO,
AND WE WERE STOPPING--
YOU KNOW, AS WE WERE DRIVING, HE WAS LIKE, "MAMA, MAMA, MAMA"
AND POINTING AT THE POSTERS.
AND THEN THERE WAS THE ONE OF ALL FOUR OF US.
[clears throat]
AND WE WERE AT A LIGHT, AND HE SAID,
"MAMA WEARS COWBOY HAT."
AND I WENT, "WOW, THAT'S A BIG-- THAT'S GREAT."
AND THEN AS I LOOK BACK,
HE GETS THIS BIG GRIN ON HIS FACE,
AND HE JUST GOES, "OTHER LADY PRINCESS."
[laughter]
AND-- - AMANDA?
- YEAH, HE THOUGHT AMANDA WAS A PRINCESS
AND HIS MOM JUST WORE A COWBOY HAT.
- RIGHT.
- MY HAT GETS VERY EXCITED WHEN HE SEES THE BILLBOARDS.
- [laughs] - IS THAT RIGHT?
I KNOW YOU'RE A CAT LOVER, AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU.
I HEARD THAT YOU'VE DONE
A LOT OF REALLY CHARITABLE THINGS FOR CATS,
SO GOOD FOR YOU.
- WELL, YOU KNOW, YEAH, I LIKE CATS.
GOD HELP ME. - YEAH.
AND--BUT SO YOUR VOICE IS REALLY--
I GET RECOGNIZED IF I'M--
IF PEOPLE ARE BEHIND ME IN A RESTAURANT, THEY TURN,
'CAUSE THEY HEAR MY VOICE, AND IT'S RECOGNIZABLE.
YOUR VOICE, BECAUSE YOU DO SO MANY OF THESE ANIMATED SHOWS,
DO YOU--LIKE, WHEN YOU CALL FOR--TO TAKEOUT OR SOMETHING,
DO THEY THINK YOU'RE JOKING?
- I GET VERY NERVOUS
WHEN I CALL TO ORDER A PIZZA OR SOMETHING,
'CAUSE I'M LIKE, "IF THIS PERSON ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE
"RECOGNIZES MY VOICE AND IS NOT A FAN OF 'FAMILY GUY,'
THEY'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING TO MY FOOD."
- RIGHT.
- AND SO I KIND OF TRY TO ADOPT THIS SORT OF WISPY KIND OF--
"YEAH, I'D LIKE A SORT OF PEPPERONI, MUSHROOM"--
[laughter]
ANYTHING TO SOUND NOTHING LIKE MYSELF
TO PRESERVE, YOU KNOW, MY--
- CLEANLINESS OF YOUR FOOD? - YEAH.
- THAT SOUNDS EVEN CREEPIER, THOUGH,
THE WAY YOU WERE DOING IT.
- AS IT WAS COMING OUT, I THOUGHT,
"THIS IS JUST ALL WRONG."
- AND I THINK I TALKED TO YOU NOT TOO LONG AGO
AND YOU TOLD ME--I GUESS WAS IT ON THE SET OF THIS FILM
THAT YOU RESCUED A DOG?
- I DID, YES. - YEAH, JOHNNY.
- JOHNNY UTAH. UM...
[audience member laughs]
YEAH, SOMEBODY KNOWS THE MOVIE.
I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
UM, YEAH, HE--
WE WERE SHOOTING IN UTAH,
AND THIS--HE JUST, YOU KNOW, JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE.
AND HE HAD A MASSIVE ABSCESSED TOOTH,
SO HIS FACE WAS JUST COMPLETELY, LIKE, SWOLLEN LIKE THIS.
BUT WE--
- AND THE FIRST THING YOU DID WAS BRING IT ONTO THE SET
AND AROUND YOUR CHILD.
- YEAH. [laughter]
COMPLETELY, 'CAUSE THAT'S--
AND THAT'S WHY MY SON NEVER GETS SICK.
WE SHOULD TRY THAT WITH YOU.
- BUT WHAT KIND OF DOG IS IT?
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
I THINK HE MIGHT BE A RED HEELER-PIT MIX
WITH SOMETHING FROM UTAH.
I DON'T KNOW. [laughter]
- MIXED WITH SOMETHING FROM UTAH?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE'S GORGEOUS.
- HE'S ONE OF THOSE BIG, LIKE, SAUSAGE DOGS.
- FIRST OF ALL, HE'S NOT A SAUSAGE DOG.
- YEAH, HE LOOKS LIKE A BIG SAUSAGE.
- NO, HE DOES NOT. - A BIG--
- HE'S INCREDIBLY HANDSOME. - ATTRACTIVE SAUSAGE.
- HE LOOKS LIKE ROBERT REDFORD, OKAY?
[laughter]
SO LET'S JUST STOP WITH THE SAUSAGE.
- OKAY, YOU'RE BOTH PRETTY.
LET'S TAKE A BREAK.