( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ALL RIGHT!
THANKS SO MUCH!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON!
THERE WERE SOME BIG, BIG BREAKING NEWS THIS AFTERNOON!
PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS FIRED FBI DIRECTOR, JAMES COMEY.
A MASSIVE STORY, A MASSIVE DECISION.
IT MADE ME THINK -- HEY, REMEMBER TWO YEARS AGO W
WE ALL MADE JOKES ABOUT IF TRUMP EVER BECAME PRESIDENT, HE'D BE
LIKE, "YOU'RE FIRED.
YOU'RE FIRED.
YOU'RE FIRED."
( LAUGHS ) THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES.
I'M WORRIED, THIS PUTS TRUMP IN A REAL BIND.
HE DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH KIDS TO FILL THE VACANCY.
THE WHITE HOUSE IS SAYING COMEY HAS BEEN FIRED FOR HIS HANDLING
OF THE HILLARY CLINTON E-MAIL INVESTIGATION.
OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE'S BEING FIRED BECAUSE OF THE
RUSSIA INVESTIGATION.
WHILE I SAY COMEY IS BEING FIRED BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP IS
BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP IS CRAZY!
HE'S A CRAZY MAN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS JAMES
COMEY WAS GOING TO GET FIRED.
TAKE A LOOK AT HOW PRESS SECRETARY SEAN SPICER ANSWERED
WHEN A REPORTER ASKED IF TRUMP HAD CONFIDENCE IN COMEY:
>> DOES THE PRESIDENT STILL HAVE CONFIDENCE, FULL CONFIDENCE IN
F.B.I. DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY?
>> I HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE.
I HAVEN'T ASKED HIM, SO I DON'T -- I'VE NOT ASKED THE
PRESIDENT SINCE THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS.
>> JAMES: SO THAT'S A NO.
( LAUGHTER ) THEN SPICER ADDED, "IF YOU SPEAK
TO TRUMP, CAN YOU ASK HIM IF HE HAS CONFIDENCE IN ME?"
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS LIKE WHEN YOU ASK YOUR
FRIEND, "HEY, YOU HUNG OUT WITH JULIE LAST NIGHT.
IS SHE STILL MAD AT ME?" AND YOUR FRIEND IS LIKE, "UH, WE
DIDN'T TALK.
WE DIDN'T -- ( LAUGHTER )
WE DIDN'T -- WE WENT TO DINNER BUT WE DIDN'T -- WE DIDN'T TALK.
MEANWHILE, THE REPUBLICANS ARE STILL CATCHING HEAT FOR THEIR
HEALTHCARE REFORM.
AND IT'S MAKING SOME OF THEM TOUCHY.
IOWA CONGRESSMAN ROD BLUM STORMED OUT OF AN INTERVIEW
MONDAY.
AND IF THAT WASN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH, HE WAS IN A CLASSROOM
FULL OF KIDS AT THE TIME.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> WOULD YOU STILL TAKE DONATIONS FROM A REPUBLICAN?
IOWA?
>> I -- I -- WE HAVEN'T EVEN -- WE JUST
STARTED.
>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
WE -- YOU'RE GOING TO JUST SIT HER
AND BADGER ME.
>> WE JUST ASKED WHY YOU WANTED TO DO THE INTERVIEW.
THAT WAS IT.
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> JAMES: I LOVE THE KID
DANCING.
AT THE END.
THAT DID THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE STUCK IN THAT INTERVIEW FOR
HOURS.
( LAUGHTER ) HE'S LIKE, ARE WE LEAVING?
THIS IS BETTER THAN A SNOW DAY!
ROD BLUM IS SENDING A GOOD MESSAGE TO THESE STUDENTS.
HE'S LIKE, "REMEMBER KIDS, WHEN YOU'RE TAKING A TEST AND A
QUESTION IS TOO HARD, GIVE UP AND WALK AWAY."
AND YOU KNOW ONCE ALL THOSE KIDS GOT HIM IN THE HALLWAY, THEY
WERE LIKE, "YOU'RE STILL GOING TO PAY US, RIGHT?"
AND FINALLY, DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER ANTONIO SABATO JR.?
OF COURSE YOU DO.
( LAUGHTER ) HE'S A FORMER MODEL THAT USED TO
APPEAR ON SOAP OPERAS LIKE "GENERAL HOSPITAL" AND "MELROSE
PLACE."
WELL, HE'S A HUGE TRUMP SUPPORTER AND HE JUST ANNOUNCED
THAT HE'S RUNNING FOR CONGRESS.
YEAH, THERE HE IS.
HE HAS THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS FOR A SUCCESSFUL POLITICIAN
THESE DAYS -- ABSOLUTELY NO QUALIFICATIONS.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW THIS POLITICAL MOVE HAS
GAINED SABATO JR. SO MUCH ATTENTION, HE'S PITCHING A WHOLE
NEW LINE OF SOAP OPERAS WITH A TRUMP THEME.
TAKE A LOOK AT A COUPLE HERE.
THERE'S "ALL MY CHILDREN WORK FOR ME;" "GENERALLY HOSPITALS NO
LONGER TAKE MEDICARE;" AND, "THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, JUST
TREMENDOUSLY STUNNING, I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAUGHTER
IVANKA? SO SEXY."