(crickets chirping)
- Hey girly!
- She's not a Christian!
No!
(Mac laughing distorted) (flames crackling)
It is I, your favorite ally, ("Star Spangled Banner")
wearing my End Racism shirt today.
Because a few days ago,
I found that there was this thing called Juneteenth,
and I decided it's time
to get a little allyship to you, negroes.
So, I'll be the first to do it.
I'll be the first to end it, for you.
You're welcome.
- No!
- So, Pride Month is coming to a close,
and I decided, as an ally, it is my main mission
to keep you gays in your place.
So, I decided we're gonna give you
a little light roast. (flames crackle)
Because homosexual doesn't mean
just dating the same sex for y'all.
It means dating the exact same looking fucking person.
(Mac laughs)
You fucking freaks. - No!
- I'm an ally! ("Star Spangled Banner")
So, last year I played a little game,
"Siblings are Dating," (transition twanging)
where I found a Instagram page
that showcased a bunch of couples,
and made you decide if they were siblings or dating,
because a lot of people seem the date their doppelganger.
Including me, including me?
I identify as a white man, pff!
And I wanna do it again one more time.
And this time around, it's only going to be gay, okay?
You're welcome.
Ally! ("Star Spangled Banner")
So, I bookmarked every single gay representing couple
on that page.
And we're going to go down the list,
and we are going to get, and roast a little bit.
Roast a little bit, we're gonna roast a lot, okay?
Maybe they're just gay siblings.
Do you understand how light,
it woulda been so amazing if I had a gay sibling, okay?
Courtney, you still have time, okay?
That's my sisters, I'm talking to my sister right now.
Courtney, you still have time.
You know, you can just like touch one for a second,
I, why am I talking?
- No!
- But you know the gays, right?
You don't, okay.
Well, there's a big stereotype in the gay community.
Not really a stereotype,
I guess just like a roast. (flames crackle)
I don't fucking know.
I don't truly know if it's a actual stereotype,
or just if it's just like a internet meme
that went too wild, because I don't know that
many couples that are actually like this,
but apparently gays date their doppelganger,
that's what is known, that's what we're known to do.
Stereotypically, stereotypically.
So, we're gonna play this game, and figure out if it's true.
So, welcome to "Siblings are Dating: Gay Edition,"
oh my God! (laughing) (upbeat dance music)
(Mac laughing)
I'm Mac!
- Bleah- - No!
- First ones, we have some lesbians.
♪ Lesbians ♪
(Mac coughing)
- If it sounds like I'm speaking through a filter of mucus,
it's because I am, girl, I was sick for a whole week, okay?
And I blame Juneteenth. (upbeat funky music)
Yeah, because I'm just so sick of all the racism.
(laughing) Ally! (tone buzzes)
Now, lesbians or siblings, let's see.
(tense percussive music)
Hmm, let's unpack this.
Similar smile, both wearing glasses,
both drinking the same type of coffee.
And you would think, huh,
what a nice pair of sisters, right?
Just sisters, sisterly sistering, but here's the thing,
I know you lesbians, I figured you out, pff!
I know for a fact they're dating, and they're not sisters.
I don't know a single pair of siblings
that would have their faces that close together
beyond the age of 12.
They're dating, they're dating,
this position gives me dating.
The other girl obviously has her hand
wrapped around the other woman,
and they're drinking their dark coffee
before they go, and conquer the world.
I honestly think lesbians are gonna
conquer the world one day.
Like, nobody's mad at them,
so, I feel like they're just gonna sneak in,
and just control everybody, that's the goal.
Sneak in, girl, stay low, and control.
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- Also, don't pay attention to that many lesbian issues,
I am very sorry. (person laughs)
And they are dating.
Yep, y'all can't fool me.
I know this game now.
61% of people said they were siblings.
Y'all just don't have the telepathy like me.
Y'all just don't understand like me.
You gotta be a little bit offensive,
that's the goal. (laughs)
Hello siblings! (electronic dance music)
That's very obvious.
Very fucking obvious here.
See what I mean by they don't touch their faces that close?
This is what I mean.
One of them's smiling, one of them is not.
And I'm sorry, but I haven't seen a gay man
wear Abercrombie and Fitch since 2006, so.
Yeah, this screams siblings like I've never seen it before.
And it's siblings. (transition twangs)
You're welcome.
This is easy.
This is, I,
my ally brain is just so powerful, like, it's like insane,
I can't even like-
These two, dating, (transition clicks)
very obvious.
It's the positions, it's the positions, girl.
You see, one of them is leaning in,
the one's not, you know,
not me using that fucking alpha male reference.
(Mac laughing)
He's leaning in, and he's the beta, and that's the alpha!
Pff, he's leaning in into his love,
and he's giving the gay smirk.
You know the gay smirk, you know gays.
Gays, you know that smirk, gays.
Gays, you know that smirk.
The dick sucking smirk.
Y'all know that smirk, y'all know that smirk,
I've seen that smirk so many times.
And they're dating, (transition twangs)
you're welcome, this is so easy.
Ooh. (transition clicks)
Ooh, ooh. (electronic dance music)
Ooh.
Okay, first of all, calm down on the whitening tool,
okay, phase two, and second of all, ooh.
Ooh.
I'm gonna say siblings here.
Siblings here, let's unpack it.
They have the same eyebrows and the same chin.
I believe they're siblings.
This is the sibling situation.
Don't fuck with me.
And they're dating! (transition twangs)
Oh.
Okay, you know what?
As an ally, ("Star Spangled Banner")
I am very comfortable in admitting my mistakes.
(Mac laughs)
You know, I shoulda guessed they were gay
by the Facetune, okay?
No straight man knows what the fuck that app is.
You say the words, "Facetune," to a straight man,
and they'll think that's an instrument.
Pff!
I'm not taking that back. (transition clicks)
You see, this is where they're trying to get us.
This is the fake out for you.
This is to see where the real are from the fake, okay?
Because they're wearing sports gear.
So, they're trying to make you think in your mind,
oh, you know, the gays, (laughs) they don't like sports.
They're obviously siblings.
Gays don't sport that hard.
Well, as an ally, I am aware that gays hella sport, pff!
From water to football.
That was a pee joke, I don't know if y'all caught that.
They're giving you the bro hug and everything
to fake you out because they're at a straight
sporting event, okay?
They can't be shaking ass,
and sucking dick- - Birthday dinner.
- In front of the Seahawk fans, girl, okay?
No, that's how we go to jail.
They play it cool in public,
but then they go home, and fist the twink.
I love to see it.
And they're dating! (transition twangs)
Boom, give me a challenge, okay?
The other one didn't count, the other one didn't count.
(person laughs) Uh.
These are siblings.
Girl, these are siblings if I've ever seen one, okay?
Lemme tell you why, lemme tell you why.
This is a Aunt Olivia got a disposable camera,
and now making everyone smile picture.
Y'all were having a regular Thanksgiving,
and then grandma pulled the camera out,
and now everyone gotta act happy.
This the after dinner, before dessert picture moment.
You know, when they pull out the camera,
and make everyone wave, and all that shit?
And you're like, who is this for?
I'm full, I just wanna go home and sleep,
and now I gotta pretend I'm having a good ass time, girl.
And they're siblings. (transition twangs)
Yep, girl, this is easy!
(transition clicks) Ah, ooh.
You see, I want them to be lesbeens.
I want the lesbeens to have this one.
But girl, girl, knowing this profile, that's a fucking test.
They're kissing, they look like a couple,
just two lesbians having fun by the beach.
But you know what I call this?
White people shit.
'Cause they're not a couple at all, this is siblings.
They're 110% siblings, kissing each other on the lips,
'cause that's the most white people European shit
I've ever seen in my fucking life.
That's the same energy as making out with your dog.
Okay, I see you, I see you, you are seen.
And they're siblings. (transition twangs)
Yep, with two Gs, girl.
You can't fool me.
I've seen some of y'all kiss your dog's feet,
for God fucking sake.
Y'all kissing everything but my reparation check,
that's all I'm saying.
Dating. (transition clicks)
Look at their stares, look at the way they're looking.
Look at that look.
There's your girl on the right.
That's a bisexual look if I've ever
seen one of my entire life.
She looks like she really loves
Phoebe Bridgers and Boygenius.
And everyone I know that likes Phoebe Bridgers
and Boygenius is part of the LGBTQ community, okay?
You're welcome, pff!
And dish! (transition twangs)
D'oh.
You know, (light playful music)
they can still be bisexual.
Dating. (transition clicks)
Dating if I ever seen one, okay?
That is a butch and lipstick pairing, okay, girl?
We see it in the history books, on the Netflix series, girl,
it's all over the place.
And they're dating, (transition twangs)
you're welcome.
Me, the perfect ally! ("Star Spangled Banner")
(transition clicks) I think these two
were my last video I did of this,
but I don't fully remember.
But I'm gonna guess, dating.
I'mma guess dating, I'm gonna guess dating.
Just look at the energy.
Look at the way they're looking at the camera.
The angle, the seriousness.
Does that not scream, I eat pussy, to you, girl?
That screams, I eat pussy, and they fucking love it, pff!
Ally, ally!
And they're dating, see? (transition twangs)
Boom, look, it's not offensive if it's true. (laughs)
(transition clicks) Okay, we're gonna flash
round a few of them.
Siblings, no, ah!
Siblings, no, damn!
Dating, no, oh my God!
And dating!
No, pff, okay!
So, we're done flash rounding there.
That was a disaster, pff!
You two, uh, hmm.
Y'all don't look much alike.
Y'all siblings, like, gimme a challenge, okay?
Gimme a challenge.
Yep, siblings, (transition twangs)
boom, you're welcome.
You see, but when I think about it. (laughs)
(transition clicks) Um.
Siblings, very obvious.
Yep, you're welcome. (transition twangs)
Sibmings!
Okay, girl. (transition clicks)
Siblings.
They're hugging way too close
in this picture for them not to be.
I'm figuring out this page already.
Boom, yep, (transition twangs)
you're welcome.
I say I'm figuring out this page
for literally like five seconds ago.
(transition clicks) Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Man, siblings, this is siblings,
or no, no.
No.
They're dating, this is dating, that's dating,
that lean in is too dating for me for siblings, okay, pff.
The lean in technology! (laughs)
And dating, (transition twangs)
you're welcome.
Guh-guling, guh-guling.
(transition clicks) Y'all dating.
You're dating, this is dating.
Also, you don't look that much alike, okay?
Y'all just
might be a little bit racist on this one,
who runs this page?
And they're dating. (transition twangs)
You're welcome. (transition clicks)
These two, ooh, ooh.
(no audio)
I'mma say dating,
and also, holy shit. (laughs)
And if they're dating, you know, congrats, okay?
I too look at myself in the mirror,
and say, goddamn, I'm fine.
And they're dating! (transition twangs)
Wow, okay.
Autosexual is a thing.
(transition clicking) Whoa.
One, dating, I'm gonna say dating.
Two, I hope they're dating.
And three, do they have an OnlyFans account?
Because I would like to
have a trial for ally reasons,
and they're dating, (transition twangs)
but there's no comments on this post.
So,
who's winning?
You know, who's winning?
If we can't find out where they are,
and what other websites they might be on.
Who's winning?
(transition clicks) Whoa!
Wow!
Please, please be dating, because I.
So many thoughts just flashed through my head.
You can literally use him like a puppet,
and I kinda wanna see that happen, pff!
As an ally, as an ally, ("Star Spangled Banner")
as an ally.
And they are, (transition twangs)
okay. (clears throat)
Funsizeboys.com exists.
- Lit. - Wow!
Siblings, siblings, no way in hell, okay?
That's just, in my mind,
and yes, (transition twangs)
you're welcome, you're welcome.
(transition clicks) Oh.
Hmm.
This is siblings if I ever fucking saw it,
this is siblings if I ever fucking saw it.
You know what gives it away?
This man is double fisting two beers, okay?
Name a gay.
I bet you some of y'all are naming some right now.
And shut the fuck up, that's what I think.
And siblings. (transition twangs)
Yep, boom, you're welcome.
My point still stands.
As an ally! ("Star Spangled Banner")
(transition clicking)
Okay, I'm feeling confident again.
Fast round, here we go.
Dating, boom.
You're welcome.
First of all, you can tell, you can tell.
I've never seen two pairs of straight siblings
take a selfie like this ever in my life.
It's very OnlyFans gay couple.
Siblings, this is a very brotherly hold.
And boom. (transition twangs)
Genius.
(Mac burbling)
Who, oh, we have a throuple?
Oh, they're dating.
Wearing three different hats with three different colors
like they're the fucking Power Rangers, girl,
they're dating, girl, they're dating.
And boom. (transition twangs)
Yep, of course.
Now 69% of y'all thinking they're siblings, okay.
Some of y'all don't know throuples exist.
And that's okay, that's fine, okay?
I'm here to teach you.
I'm here to tell you,
I was friends with a couple of them before, okay?
They're not throuples anymore, okay?
But they existed once.
Pff! (transition clicks)
Okay, let's end it with like a couple more.
I don't want this video to go that long, okay?
I don't wanna bore y'all. (electronic dance music)
I feel like I've roasted you gays enough.
Get it, get it, get it, get it?
As an ally. ("Star Spangled Banner")
(person laughs) Oh,
we have some red carpet girly.
Okay, this is very obviously siblings.
Very obvious, to a T.
I think they're twins.
I don't know who they are,
but they're on the red carpet for "Angelyne,"
so they must be
influencers, dead ass, pff.
And they're siblongs! (transition twangs)
Yep, I see it.
One more. (transition clicks)
You two
are a pair of homosexuals if I ever seen it,
okay, girl, okay, girl.
With their tongue out, the nose piercing,
and the ring light?
Girl, I have found my people.
If the face didn't say it, the ring light spoke it clearly.
(Mac laughs)
Either you is a gay, or you are a fuckboy on TikTok, okay?
You are either a Neil Patrick Harris, or a Noah Beck.
Girl, they're dating, they're a hundred percent dating.
And they are, boom. (transition twangs)
You're welcome.
I think I'm gonna end right here on this fucking victory.
As an ally, I deserve to win.
Good luck on your fight though, good luck on your fight.
(Mac laughs) (transition clicking)
How many did I win, how many I lose?
I don't know.
Am I gonna tally up at the end?
Ah, probably not.
What did we learn today, kids?
We learned absolutely fucking nothing, what the fuck?
We learned that my gaydar at a absolute supreme, okay?
You're welcome. (sneaky string music)
But anyways, I'm gonna go steam the fuck outta my chest,
because I have so much mucus.
Comment down below, who is your favorite ally?
It better be me, it better be fucking me,
it better be fucking, listen to me, listen to me,
you better write my name.
Or I'm literally going to tell the gays
that you're being mean to their fighter.
(no audio)
You're welcome, you're welcome.
My name is Mac, and make sure you like, comment, share,
it's a scream, babe, wah!
(Mac coughing)
Okay, okay.
Okay, bye!
♪ Whoo ♪