[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLAPPING]
What up, y'all?
We back in the building.
Finally, the Bodega Boys have returned to--
Across the street from Madison Square Garden.
Madison Square Garden.
Where the Knicks play.
Slate it!
We roll.
Keep talking?
All right.
We about to roll right into the next slate.
We're big allies to the slate community.
It's slate pride, I guess.
Well, I was saying, Madison Square Garden.
Where the Knicks play.
You know, basketball in New York City is done.
Actually, it was done a month ago, or something.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
That was eliminated.
Something happened yesterday.
I saw it on the on timeline.
There's another, I think there's another team.
The Liberty?
No.
The Islanders?
They're not as good.
Not as good as the Liberty.
The Islanders, no.
That's a hockey team.
I think they play basketball, but it's not.
Fordham University's--
The Ram.
The Rams?
No, no, no.
Even though they lose a lot, they didn't lose
in such spectacular fashion.
You know what?
If I was lazy and I had a basketball team,
and I was just looking around the arena.
And I'm just like, let me name it after the ball.
The foul line.
The hoops!
The hoops?
The Nets?
Oh, shit.
That's right.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Remember the team that they were wilding in the nineties.
And then they got married, and they moved to Jersey.
and they said they wre not doing coke anymore.
But then they move from Jersey to Brooklyn
because they want the ambiance.
And then remember they built a super team?
- Yes. - Yes.
Yes.
They built a giant PlayStation 5 for them to play in,
and then they were like, yo, super team,
you can go play here.
That's right.
We're angry Knicks fans.
We're haters.
We're pretty.
Yes!
The Nets losing in overtime on KD airball
is same thing as a Knicks championship.
Let's show that beautiful footage.
Let's go.
Right there.
I have my legs crossed because this is a family show.
Right there.
That shot was so terrible I actually called my son.
Yo.
I was like, wow.
Wow.
This is a moment, sir.
No, shout out to KD.
He, listen, he gamed hard.
He put it all out there.
But wouldn't you rather put it all out there
at Madison Square Garden than just like Bedford Avenue?
Come on, man.
Get your head in the game.
I been trying to tell you, man, You very like,
yo, I don't care.
I don't care.
The whole world could have watched you say the scoring
title and said you just wanted people on the G train
to be like, oh look.
Look.
Yeah, he did a really good thing.
Like when he did the slam dunking.
Have you seen my zip car?
[LAUGHING]
Damn, dog.
28,000 Carter goes with creating traffic outside the arena
when you put that out.
Hate to see it.
That's such a painful loss.
Game seven, overtime.
OT.
To the Bucks.
I don't even know what animal that is.
Every time I go to the Bronx Zoo that exhibit's closed so I have
no idea what they look like.
You lost to a dude who spells Chris with a "K."
Wow.
That's disgusting.
They lost to Rocky and Bullwinkle.
[GROANING]
Disgusting.
I see a moose, Boris.
You hate to see it.
Also I was going to roast him.
I was like, KD lost in front of his mother.
But that's actually very touching.
She was playing nice. She was like, it's OK, baby
It's all right.
I was like, aw, this nigga got reassurance.
I don't like that.
Yeah.
I don't like parenteral support.
Wow, you got support?
Wow.
You going to get a hug.
I don't like that.
I don't like that in my basketball players.
I like my basketball players that don't know their father.
You know what I'm saying?
My son missed a shot, you know what I'd do?
I run out of court and I slap him in the face.
I'm like, yo, make the next or you're getting another one.
There we go. There we go.
Can't wait to see him on the Knicks.
[LAUGHING]
Court side.
It was very chill.
Punctuated very nicely by that tremendous hell.
We were chilling on our hiatus.
Except for every now and then, we
get a glaring email that was like, log into Zoom,
check your volume levels.
Listen.
You're going on NPR fresh air fund, today, yo.
Not going to lie.
My sister is an emergency room nurse.
She's worked all through COVID.
And my job was harder.
I'm just going to say that right now.
Like, getting the Zoom ID and the password?
Whoa.
Like, relax.
You know what I'm saying?
Angry, the same goes for you.
I'm telling you.
This is very mentally draining and exhausting.
Working out here on a weekend, filming.
On Father's Day.
Shoutout to all my sons.
Shoutout to all the fathers.
Biological and otherwise.
Shout out to all the fathers.
Shoutout to all the mothers being fathers.
Shoutout to the kids being fathers?
Word.
Shoutout to your older cousin that raised you.
Shoutout to the fathers that aren't really fathers
but are enjoying the fuck out of this show.
Yeah.
You know the vibe.
He's just getting smacked to shit, like.
Shoutout to everyone that got kids and just found out it's
Father's Day from watching this show.
Like, yo, that's why they been calling all day?
I thought it was bill collectors.
Oh, shit. Damn, bro.
I thought I was behind on a payment.
Shoutout to any father that answer the phone like,
so how old are you now?
Yo, shoutout to all the dads that treat
their kids like a car note.
And they're just like, yo--
I put money on that.
Like a mortgage.
How many more years I got left on this shit?
You still got that money from December?
All right, all right.
Can I refinance my daughter?
Father gos?
Oh, shit.
Hopefully not about our fathers.
All right, cool.
OK, good.
Ben Affleck, JLo, AKA Jennifer Lopez from the BX
make out at a steamy, PDA packed dinner.
Look at them.
Damn, dog.
Yo.
They got video.
Ultimate 4K.
She's rubbing it.
Oh, she's doing the face rub.
Oh, with the gum on the chin.
She's like, oh papi, your beard finally grew in.
Oh!
That's the take me to the bathroom right now maneuver.
She gave him the full open mouth.
That's like, I got kids but I'm trying to move in.
Let's go.
Wow.
Let's go.
My shit is boxed up, already.
Say when.
You got a vasectomy, right Ben?
Wow.
Yo.
It's got to be weird.
Because, like, she feels the difference between like the 10
year ago tongue.
Yeah.
Now he got the veteran tongue.
Yeah.
He got the Batman nipples on his tongue, now.
Yo.
Damn, dawg.
This is big Puerto Rican grandma energy, though.
I respect it.
Low key, I don't respect people
disrespecting their privacy.
But if I was at a restaurant and I
saw Ben Affleck and JLo were making out,
I'm pulling out the phone.
Yeah, immediate.
I'm calling TMZ, like how much can I get for this, bro?
He's like, yo, I got a video of y'all making out.
You want to buy this shit from me, right now?
Also, she did it in front of the kid.
It's like, yo, this is your new step pops.
Get familiar.
Yo!
That's so BX shit.
Like you start dating a dude and on the second date
you're like, yo, this is the guy.
This is your uncle--
what's your name, again?
He's showing her the phone like, look I found games on it.
Yo, Ben Affleck looks mad confused.
He's like, yo, how does this shit get on TMZ already?
I didn't even upload this shit.
Look at JLo's mouth.
She's like, this shit better work out.
She's texting Diddy on the side, like yo.
Yo, I'm free after this.
Just if this doesn't work out.
You next, brother love.
More Batman news.
[HUMMING] Batman!
What?
DC stopped Batman from performing
oral sex on Catwoman.
Because Batman is Jamaican.
[LAUGHING]
Yo.
It's incredibly gratifying and free
to be using characters that are considered
villains because you just have so much more leeway,
says Halper.
A perfect example of that is the third season
of Harley when we had a moment where Batman
was going down on Catwoman.
Whoa!
DC was like, you can't do that.
You absolutely cannot do that.
Batman no eat no pum pum.
There you go.
They're like, heroes don't do that.
Yo, what the fuck?
Heroes don't eat pussy?
Yo, I'm a super villain.
Now that I think about it.
What here do you know if you--
Think about it.
Can you stop and sea Captain Sully eating pussy?
[LAUGHING]
You can't.
You know that, all right?
He's like, it's wetter than the Hudson down here.
So we said, are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?
They were like, no.
It's just we saw consumer toys for heroes.
It's hard to sell a toy if Batman
is also going down on someone.
I'd buy that toy.
Yo, are they going to sell--
I mean, would Catwoman open from the back?
LIke action grip.
[LAUGHING]
Press button to spread cheeks.
Age range, 21 to 70.
Yeah.
Oh.
Does he or doesn't he?
You can give it a try.
I'll bring the wine.
OK.
Isn't Batman just Elon Musk in a suit?
It is.
He probably, instead of going down he'd
just start talking about Dogecoin.
He's like, yo, to the moon.
To the moon like your orgasm.
I can't put my tongue down there.
That's where you pee.
No.
It smells like poopoo.
He probably says shit like that, too.
It smells like poopoo down here.
That's when you go in harder!
He's like, ugh.
It tastes like unsweetened iced tea.
[LAUGHING]
No, Batman.
Eat some pussy.
Come on, Batman.
Super heroes got to normalize eating chooch.
You don't got nothing else to do.
Buying shit.
You're a billionaire, dawg.
They got this.
Canon.
Problem is she still kind of has her pants on.
So maybe that's a problem. - Yo.
Unless he just went reckless.
Was like [GROWLING].
He use the Batman karate skills to rip her clothes off.
He off the molly, he just licking the fly.
There's a couple next to you at LeBain, you're like, yo,
they wilding.
I'm going to put this on Twitter.
Shit, y'all dry humping for real.
Also, that's a little dusty on the roof.
Like you been swinging around all day.
They were probably just fighting and sweating and shit.
Yo, is this like post fight sex?
Is that what happens now in comic books?
Yo, I'm going to fuck you up.
Then Spider Man and Hulk are fucking.
Also, if you eating Catwoman's pussy,
that's a lot of pressure.
Because all she does is lick.
So she know how to do that shit.
That's like playing one on one with KD with tongues.
Yeah.
[LAUGHING]
Which means Catwoman's going to lose!
Yeah!
Going for air ball.
Take that, nets!
[LAUGHING]
We're doing this all season.
All season.
Y'all better get ready.
Big 15.
Who the fuck is Mike James?
Sure.
Batman got a baby?
Nick Cannon and Instagram person welcome twin boys, Zion
Mixoloblah and Zillion Heir.
Yo.
Did someone have a stroke while they
were typing this title card?
He named one of his kids after a antidepressant.
Like, that is a lot, right there.
Yo, that shit causes dry mouth, diarrhea.
Twin boys, Zion Maxalalala.
Malox?
And Zillion Heir.
Oh, I see what you did there.
He's a rap genius.
Welcome to the world, Zion.
Mixolo-- Mickelodeon?
Cannon?
And Zion Heir Cannon.
Hashtag my boys.
Hashtag twin boys.
Hashtag long money.
Yo, Nick.
You got to chill, bro.
No, let Nick do what he wants to do.
Because I know there's not one person in his audience
who would not let Nick knock them up.
And that goes for guys, too. All right?
Nick got a lot of money.
Yeah.
If Nick came to you like, yo, I want a baby with you.
You'd be like-- - All right, fuck it.
How we doing this?
Give me half of Radio Shack, you got a deal.
Nick Cannon is expecting his seventh.
OK, this sudden-- why you got to be messy
and put "seventh" in caps?
Is expecting his seventh child with model
but his fourth baby within six months within three
different-- can I get paper?
I want to do the work.
I can't figure this shit out.
Show your work and shit.
I'm like, yo, if x, then y.
If you have enough kids where you
got to use cosine to figure out their ages,
like you got to chill.
Like yo, can I get the formula sheet for this?
Wow.
Nick Cannon is allegedly expecting his seventh child
with model Alyssa Scott.
Fourth baby in six months.
This is when they do like those stupid NBA stats.
Like, he's the only player to have eight rebounds,
six points, and twelve--
Or like the Yankees.
Like a mad boring game.
Like, you know, there's only one starting right fielder
had four babies in six months.
Lou Gehrig.
A lot of people don't know that.
He did it with ALS. It's amazing.
Oh, and the Yankees lose again.
This sounds like a N.O.R.E line.
Like, yo, I have four seeds.
I had a six in the same month.
What what?
Three different women, six months, four babies.
Are they all his?
Does he just accept-- like, do people come up like, yo,
I'm pregnant by you, Nick.
He's all right, I guess.
He's like, waste money on a test?
I'll take your word for it.
It's fine, I'll just take the kids.
But then he's like, let me name it.
And they're like, I guess so.
And then they regret it.
Exactly.
Wow.
Imagine you're walking around your crib, you're like, yo,
Zillion!
Zillionaire!
I'm Jamaican, so it hits different.
That could easily be someone's name.
I just imagine him like, when the room,
when the baby came out.
He was like, wilding, wilding.
Give it up for the placenta team.
Hey, y'all.
Give it up for uterus team.
The DJ's just like if the baby's ugly.
Oh, wow.
Yo, that baby ugly as shit.
Julia getting a little nervous, there.
Julia's like, y'all aren't trying to plan on season 38,
yo.
What's up?
Also shout out to Julia for surviving un-Cannoned.
Oh, wow.
Is that what it's called?
Cannoned?
Absolutely.
Doctor's like, hey I got to talk to you.
Let me ask you something, you been around the Platinum Squad?
[LAUGHING]
Yeah, start the show.
Yeah, we're back!
Yeah!
Powerful cannons.
Motherfucker has a child named powerful.