hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about seven mistakes
confident men don't make now let's begin number one hold in feedback does your opinion matter
a man without confidence keeps his opinions to himself he believes the world doesn't care what he
has to say or that his opinions are going to get him in trouble he swallows his feedback objections
and criticisms but a confident man knows that his perspective is valuable just imagine your boss
has to give a presentation but wants your opinion first so he shows you his work and asks what you
think do you tell your boss that everything's perfect or do you express your honest opinion
a confident man will always express himself because he knows that other people are open
to different perspectives instead of getting angry or annoyed most people appreciate honest feedback
they won't always take your suggestions but it is worthwhile to consider multiple opinions before
making any decision so don't hold your opinion in if you have an opinion express yourself out loud
because other people will be glad to hear your perspective number two exaggerate problems
we all have bad habits even the most confident men stumble in small ways day after day but there's
one big difference in the bad habits of confident and unconfident men alright let's say you struggle
with procrastination every time a project comes your way you stall for days or even weeks
you wait until the last second and your work suffers because of it men without confidence view
bad habits as massive unsolvable problems you may dream about fixing your vices but ultimately you
feel intimidated by your problems in your mind it takes too much time and effort to change your ways
ah but a confident man knows that change starts small and builds over time he knows that little
adjustments can create larger solutions a new habit may only take 5 or 10 minutes of your time
yet that small change could lead you toward a lifetime of progress
so imagine for example working for five minutes whenever you feel like procrastinating five
minutes doesn't seem like much does it but that's five more minutes than you did the day before
those five minutes of work could easily snowball into 10 minutes 15 minutes or even a full hour in
other words small changes open the door for larger solutions that's why a confident man tackles his
vices on a daily basis he doesn't worry about dramatic transformations or radical solutions
he improves himself in small ways every day because a little change goes a long way
number three external competition a confident man doesn't compare himself to other people he doesn't
measure his accomplishments by the success of others because there's only one person you should
be comparing yourself to and that person is you now many of us fall into this trap on a daily
basis we look at our friends our co-workers our role models and we feel inadequate by comparison
we compare our lives to theirs and we criticize ourselves because we feel like we've fallen behind
but a confident man knows there's no such thing as falling behind so if you want to measure your
own success reflect on your past how motivated productive or disciplined were you last year
last month or even last week have you grown since then have you made changes
or accomplished new goals these are the only kinds of comparisons you should be making
because these are the only comparisons that are actually fair just think about how different you
are from everyone else in the world we all come from different backgrounds we all have unique
combinations of experiences our personalities have different strengths and weaknesses
so measuring your success against someone else's isn't fair or a good use of your time a confident
man doesn't try to compete against the rest of the world while competition can provide healthy
motivation a confident man competes to improve not to dominate or prove himself to other people
number four imaginary anger do you get scared that other people are angry with you if you
struggle with confidence this may be an everyday issue you may get stuck in negative thought
patterns you may overthink every situation you may worry about how others will react
in the end this fear suppresses your individuality and stops you from taking chances the truth is
people don't care as much as you think you build up huge negative expectations in your head
but in reality people are far too preoccupied with their own lives you may think you're annoying
someone else you may think you're getting on their nerves each day but this person may not care about
you in the slightest in other words you're scared of a feeling that's entirely imaginary
a confident man doesn't worry about how others perceive his actions he does what makes him happy
he expresses himself when and where he wants to he is considerate of others he does take their
feelings opinions and boundaries into account but he does not let the feelings of others control him
he does not assume that other people are annoyed or angry with him most of the time
anger is imaginary but there will be times in your life when someone does get upset with you
these are the moments we grow so scared of but a confident man knows that conflict is a natural
part of life instead of trying desperately to avoid conflict you should learn how to handle
and defuse conflict when it happens when someone is angry with them people without
confidence become rattled and hyper anxious but a confident man controls his emotions he apologizes
he tries to fix the problem and then he moves forward because that's really all you can do
if the other person is still angry the issue may have more to do with them than it does with you
number five silent expression do the people you know know that you like them this is something
many unconfident people do we've all gotten attached to certain people in our lives we have
family and friends we see on a regular basis we frequent certain restaurants and stores we visit
the same places and enjoy interacting with the same people in your mind you know that you like
these people but do they know that you like them or are you assuming they can read your mind people
without confidence rarely express their feelings out loud they don't tell their favorite people
how important they are so these people never know that they matter that's why confident men don't
hesitate to express their feelings they never assume that others can read their minds if someone
is important to them whether it's a family member or a clerk at their favorite store they make their
feelings clear so take a moment to think about the people in your life think about your best friend
do they know how important they are to you think about the staff at your favorite restaurant
do they know how much you enjoy eating there if you rarely express your feelings the answer is
probably no but these people want to know that they matter to you tell your best friend how
important they are tell the staff at your favorite restaurant how much you enjoy their service
if someone is a positive influence in his life a confident man will express that positivity
out loud so don't be afraid to express yourself to the people who matter to you
number six create false impressions do you buy things to create a particular impression do you
try to make yourself look successful many unconfident people rely on clothes and cars
to compensate for their lack of confidence they want others to believe they're important and
successful they'll buy brand name items to create an image of success to trick people into believing
there's something that they're not but expensive items are just a band-aid covering a larger issue
when someone sees you as successful it gives you a rush it makes you feel confident in the moment
but when that confidence fades you feel just as insecure as you did before maybe even more you
end up chasing that temporary feeling instead of building real confidence for yourself you end up
buying all kinds of expensive things in pursuit of that feeling but money cannot buy you confidence
just like money cannot buy you happiness expensive clothes and cars create an outward impression
but the person inside remains the same that's why confident men don't buy things they can't afford
they don't worry about how successful people think they are because real confidence comes from
inside you if you have real confidence it doesn't matter what clothes you wear or what car you drive
number seven ashamed of himself but car you drive never ashamed of who they are they don't
try to hide their individuality they embrace their unique qualities and pursue what makes them happy
a confident man is secure with himself but he's always willing to improve this is a mistake that
countless people make when building self-esteem you may view confidence as the end of the road
you imagine that you'll be finished or complete as soon as you find confidence
but finding confidence doesn't mean you're done growing in fact it's exactly the opposite a
confident man is open to learning new things a confident man is happy with who he is but he's
always searching for new ways to improve because a confident man knows that finding confidence
isn't the end of your journey it's just the beginning hey thank you for watching
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