Hi there this is Clay and today I have some very bad news for you.
I've been kind of reading through some responses that people have sent in, some emails that
people have sent in, some surveys that people have filled out and you know, I've just been
trying to get a feel for where people out, what people want to know about how we can
help people better and I've noticed a disturbing trend in some of these statements and that's
that a lot of people seem to believe that there's some kind of magic quality about the
no contact rule that will somehow saved their relationship that somehow, you know, you don't
talk to your ex for 30 days.
Then on day 31 you're back together.
You're getting married, boom, it's all done.
And I hate to dispel this fantasy and tell you that it's not going to be that way.
You know, the no contact part is just the first step in the process.
After that, you know, you will be able to contact your ex.
You should be able to get them to respond to you, to meet up with you.
And all that stuff and to start seeing you, but it's still going to take a little while
before the two of you start getting back together.
And I'm not saying that this has to be like a very painful, torturous thing at all.
We actually had a client recently who described this process as one of the most enjoyable
things in his life.
He said he felt like he was in high school again, like, like he was a kid again, you
know, going through that, that experience of like, you know, you got a crush on a girl
and you're not sure how she's gonna respond and you know, you're like, oh my God, there
she is over there.
Should I, should I hold her hand?
Should I go in for the kiss?
And he was so he was so excited by that because he had never felt that way with a woman before.
And, and he was just really enjoying that ride of really experiencing what it's like
to fall in love all over again.
And I think everyone has a lot of fun memories from their first love.
And you know, you can actually enjoy that with your ex, you can really enjoy having
that experience all over again.
But again, you know, the no contact rule that is really the first step that just gets you
in the game that gets you on the playing field.
What happens then is you have to use the relational strategies that you have cultivated during
that one month of active, no contact if you've been following our advice, otherwise all bets
are off.
And you know, you want to use those to really date your ex and start to have this experience
where you can start building more positive memories and positive experiences between
the two of you so that, you know, your ex wants to get back together with you.
You know, just, just cutting contact with them isn't going to make them want to get
back together with you.
You have to have some positive experiences to really laid the foundation for the new
relationship.
And that is really the step that comes after the no contact rule.
It's, it's, you know, going out there and dating them.
It's going out there and having your first kiss again, it's going out there and holding
hands for the first time.
Again, it's going out there and having those little awkward flirty moments where the two
of you or just kind of like a, you know, looking way when you meet, when you make eye contact
and kind of smiling bashfully and all that.
It's about doing that.
And you know, I know you might be in pain right now, but you can really enjoy things
a lot when you get to this stage and this isn't something that you should try to leap
frog over or skip past because it can be a lot of fun and it's really necessary in the
healing process.
So I hope this helped to clear things up a little bit and I hope this helped you out
and if you'd like to get more help with your relationship and how to really get through
your ex and bring them back into your life so that you can have a great relationship
with them.
The one that you know you were supposed to have before things went wrong.
Then head over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up there.
Thanks.