I love me some Scifi flicks, especially the ones that take place in outer space. Only
issue I have is that, other than Armageddon probably, it’s hard to shed a tear when
a crew member dies, because you know they could always bring people back alive with
time travel. Story’s about this band of misfit guardians of the galaxy type heroes.
You have the hot chick from the James Cameron movie in red whose titty always finds a way
to sneak out of her shirt. The smart dude, who if it wasn’t for his jealousy and temper
tantrums, would probably be the commander himself, And the commander with the drinking
problem. FYI, don’t ever drink and drive, unless you’re in space, they don’t have
red lights or stop signs. The commander and his team are experts when it comes to simulation
exercises, but they have little to no experience fighting against actual universal threats
to man and alien kind. That’s all about to change when they take a mission
to be the first, last, and only line of defense against the worst, scum of the universe. The
mission starts off on the wrong foot from the gate when minority stereotypes start popping
out the wood works and the diversity target crew member shows he can’t drive the ship
properly (audio). Later on, things get worse when they FaceTime the bad guy on their monitors
and he tells them he means business. Don’t believe ‘em? Take a look at what he does
to the old commander of the good guy ship during the prisoner of war interrogation scene.
To make matters even worse, their ship malfunctions and they hand the bad guy more odds for his
favor of defeating them. The crew discover that a piece of the circle matter from the
ship’s core is on this one planet and to repair the ship, they go to the Episode 4
slash Episode 7 looking sand planet that Luke and Rey grew up on and fight an alien or two.
He ends up getting his buttocks
handed to ‘em. And make it so bad, after the butt whipping he tries to retreat and
can’t even do that since the ship’s having technical difficulties beaming him up to Scotty
at the moment. However, after a couple of trial and errors, they get the commander back
in one piece and the good news is only one casualty is recorded during the whole experiment.
Afterwards, we learn the evil villain genocided the aliens’ on the ship's home planet (audio)
To get some pay back, first they promote the comic relief fella to a full time crew member
position (audio) then, they set their course to earth so just in case
they die, they could take down the whole audience with them. After the part where the captain
stages a fight with the smart dude, You could tell from the music, long faces, and remaining,
it’s about to get realness is about to occur. I don’t usually condone different specie
relationships, but I’m a sucker for goodbye kisses and I’m not sure the blue shirt guy
is gonna make it out a live. With their backs up against the wall, the youngest crew member
comes up with a magnet idea similar to Season 5 episode 1 on Breaking Bad to kill the bad
guys (audio). The big ship (cock sound boom cock sound booms) the little ship and the
literally turns the table because it turns and both ships
are facing each other face to face like a chicken racing match which the good guys win
by the way. It’s not over yet though because on the part where the bad guys and good guys
are on the same ship, everyone’s celebrating and enjoying the a group hug. The bad barges
in like “Can I get a hug too?” and then the temporarily handicapped leader takes ‘em
down. At the end, even though it was a team effort, the commander Michael Jacksons his
teammates and takes all the credit during his standing ovation. No hard feelings at least
as the team reunites for the first of many more missions. Their ongoing mission, to explore
strange, new worlds. To seek out new lifeforms and new civilizations. To boldly go where
no one has gone before. Those are 24 Reasons these movies are the same. You agree? Yes,
no, maybe so? If not, politely share your thoughts in the comments section below and
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