(soft music)
- When we practice mindfulness
and when we teach mindfulness to others,
it's somewhat easy to get caught up in
really bringing mindfulness to formal meditations
and then relaxing our mindfulness around daily life.
So when we talk about informal mindfulness in daily life,
oftentimes the examples that are shared
are just taking a shower, going for a walk,
sort of these neutral life experiences that we have.
And so it's relatively easy to bring mindfulness
to those kinds of experiences,
these common every day neutral experiences.
But what many people don't bring mindfulness to
are these cravings that we have
that many of us take for granted.
The cravings for distraction,
the cravings for watching a lot of sports
or getting lost in watching sports
or indulging in really rich foods all the time
or caffeine or alcohol.
So the invitation that we can share with ourselves
and with our students is to notice these forms of cravings,
these forms of wanting to feel something pleasant
and go automatically going for that
rather than checking in with how it feels
without those things.
Can I be okay?
Can I release the sense of need around doing
that thing that I tend to do?
Can I be with what's here without the need
to introduce these distractions or these ways of coping?
So I do encourage each of you to reflect on
what you think you need to be happy
and to question some of those things.
Now we all need friendship,
we all need love,
we all need to take care of ourselves
and there's certainly nothing wrong with lasagna
or a cup of coffee or whatever it is
but can we notice how we relate to those things?
And seeing if there's room for softening
any sense of need around it
and to see if we can be with what's here
before doing that thing.
And so that informal mindfulness practice
takes a lot of courage to do.
And so this isn't a judgment
on these actions that we do.
And some people think that
we're all addicted to something
and there's a wonderful mindfulness teacher
that some of you I'm sure are very familiar with,
Judson Brewer, who is a wonderful mindfulness teacher.
He has free talks and meditations online.
He has a really popular TED Talk online
about how to bring mindfulness
or how to use mindfulness for addiction.
And really the essence of it is to be curious about
how you actually feel in your body
before, during, and after, the ways that you cope
or the feelings that you have around
what it is that you use to soothe yourself.
So my point here is to stay curious
or up your curiosity for what you actually feel
especially in the body
as these cravings come up and stay with it.
See if you can be with it
and question you need for it to be happy.
And sometimes it's helpful to actually give a voice
to what you're believing in the moment.
To hear yourself say things out loud,
to see if it passes the mustard or cuts the mustard
on how it sounds to you.
So let's say I woke up this morning I said well,
I need a breakfast burrito with hot sauce,
big cup of coffee,
and a massage before I do my mastermind call
in order to feel okay.
And so if I believe that, if those are the thoughts
that are going through my head, okay,
how does that sound if I actually give voice to that?
Okay, well let me say it out loud.
I need a breakfast burrito, hot sauce and a cup of coffee
and a massage in order to be happy.
Well, just hearing myself say that out aloud
feels a little silly to me (giggles)
And helps me to realize okay well yeah,
if it sounds a little silly to me
that I need all those things to feel okay,
then it really helps me to check myself and say,
well okay let's dial it down a little bit.
Like what do I really need to be okay in this moment?
And this morning was a little bit of a challenge
because I do have a headache and I haven't eaten for a while
but when I really sat with this sensations of the discomfort
and the fear of what might happen in the future.
If I don't have calories or do something like
when I really sat with the fear,
when I really sat with the discomfort,
and really just allowed myself to be with that
and allow those things to be here,
then I realized okay I'm actually feeling okay more and more
as I'm being with it.
And then the sense of a need for something else decreased
because my sense of okayness was rising
as I was being with this actual experience.
So the more we open and allow ourselves
to be with whatever's here,
then that sense of okayness tends to increase
and therefore the need for
something else tends to decrease.