[ Background sounds ]
[ Applause ]
>> Jo Tyler: There's beauty
in the world and there's danger;
and some things are beautiful
and dangerous, like lions
and stories.
I was at the zoo recently
and I wanted to see the lions;
but when I got to the enclosure,
I couldn't find any.
And then finally I spotted one
pressed up against the chain
link fence way down at one end.
And when I approached that lion,
he opened his eyes.
That was all.
That lion didn't roar.
He didn't even lift up his head.
He did not even swish his tail.
I knew that lion was beautiful.
But I couldn't really see
his beauty.
And I knew that lion was
dangerous; but we were separated
and I couldn't really feel
the danger.
That lion has lost all
his lion-ness.
Now, my other experience
with lions is
in an open tops jeep way
out on the savanna
in South Africa.
Our driver pulled
up really close
to a big pride of lions.
As we approached,
every one of those lions lifted
up their heads to check us out.
And when the driver shut off the
engine, the largest
of those lions stood up,
came towards the jeep,
and jumped up on
to that warm hood;
and it must have felt good
because he sat down.
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler:
That lion was right there.
I could see his belly rise
and fall.
I could smell his breath.
I could look right
into his eyes,
and he looked into mine.
And that lion was beautiful.
And I was very clear
that lion was dangerous.
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler: We sat like that
for a couple
of minutes very still,
and then the driver reached down
and turned on the engine.
The lion jumped off;
and as we backed away,
that lion turned
and that lion roared.
That lion had all his lion-ness.
Lions aren't the only thing we
put in cages.
We put stories in cages too.
For the last decade or so,
everything from peer-reviewed
journal articles to books
to in-flight magazines have been
encouraging leaders
to tell stories,
stories that would sell the hot
new idea, motivate people
to follow, spin the scandal
so it wouldn't seem quite
so bad.
Leaders are being coached
to use the three-point template
for the perfect story,
the five dimensions of story,
or the nine ways
that stories can be used.
Stories -- leaders are being
taught that stories are
powerful tools.
And it's true,
stories are powerful.
But here's the problem:
Stories are not tools.
They're not tools in the way
that Six Sigma
and Competency Analysis
and Gantt Chart are tools.
Stories have an energetic
vitality that tools don't have.
Stories have an aliveness.
I heard a Native American
storyteller once say
that the stories are alive
because we tell them.
My experience is a
little different.
It is that we tell the stories
because they are already alive.
They are alive whether
or not we tell them.
And the stories negotiate
with us about whether
and how they should be told.
And if this sounds a little
wacky, stay with me here
because you know this.
You know this
from your own experience.
I bet you can think of a time
when you were deep
in conversation.
You were fully engaged.
You were talking,
and you interrupted yourself;
and you said, "Hey,
wait a minute.
Why am I tell you this story?
I didn't mean
to tell you this story.
How did we get here?"
You're telling that story
because that story wanted
to be told in that moment
to those listeners.
And so it pushed itself,
energetically
into your conversation.
And it's likely
that there are other times,
times when you were working
really hard to make a point,
trying to make yourself clear
and you just couldn't do it.
And then later you're brushing
your teeth and a story pops
into your head; and you say,
"Oh, that was the story.
That's the story I should
have told.
That would have
clarified everything.
Why didn't I tell that story?"
You didn't tell that story
because that was the time
when the story didn't want
to be told, not at that moment,
not to those listeners.
The stories negotiate with us
on the basis of the quality
of listening that they and we
as their tellers anticipate
that they'll receive.
Stories are not tools.
Stories are more like lions.
Now, just like zoos do good work
by helping people
who will never make it
out to the savanna
that no see a lion up close,
so too in our organizations,
there are some stories
that we want to kind of capture,
stories like the founder story
and invention stories,
and stories of crisis
and response are stories
that we want to tell over
and over because they help
to build the culture.
They help to build the culture
of the organization.
So like lions,
some stories do end up in cages.
But here's what's important:
We always want to make sure
that the number of lions
on the savanna is greater
than the number
of lions we keep in zoos.
I used to work
for a vice president
of human resources.
His name was Doug.
And now to tell you
about this guy, one day he
and I were having a debate
about how to deal
with a problem employee.
And Doug was offering a solution
that I thought was too lenient,
even kind.
And I was protesting
and Doug stopped me;
and he said, "Look, Jo,
really we have two jobs.
The first job is
to find the high road;
and the second job
when we find the high road is
to actually take it."
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler:
Seriously how many executives do
you know who talk like that?
That's the kind of guy Doug was.
He was kind and smart
and much loved.
And then one day Doug died;
tragically, unexpectedly, gone.
A couple weeks before Doug died,
we had gotten a new CEO.
His name was Mike.
And when Doug died,
Mike ordered us to arrange
for three very large,
back-to-back meetings,
500 employees each,
where Mike would announce
Doug's death.
In the first session Mike came
to the podium, and he started
to tell a story about Doug.
And as soon as he started
to tell it,
I thought that story can't
be true.
But at a certain point
in the story Mike's
voice cracked.
He paused.
He wiped a tear from his eye.
He collected himself,
and he finished his talk.
I stayed to usher
in the next group of employees.
And when they were settled,
Mike told the exact same story
about Doug.
And at the exact same point,
Mike's voice cracked.
He paused.
He wiped a tear from his eye.
So I stayed
for the third session and --
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler: I don't even need
to tell you what happened.
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler: When it was over,
I went racing back to my office.
I wanted to tell my colleagues
the story of Mike's performance
and the fake tear,
but that story was alive
on the savanna;
and that story got there way
ahead of me.
My colleagues were already
a buzzed.
Mike hardly even knew Doug.
That story couldn't have
been true.
That whole talk was a sham.
No one believed Mike.
And so a new story emerged,
the story of how none
of us would ever,
ever trust Mike.
>> [laughter]
>> Jo Tyler:
And that story was alive
on the savanna too.
That story roared.
Lions that languish
in cages seldom roar.
They lose their lion-ness.
And Mike's story about Doug,
it had no Doug-ness.
Mike was trying to use a story
like a tool,
but stories aren't tools.
And so it broke out of its cage.
Stories are powerful.
They are beautiful.
They are dangerous.
Cages can diminish their beauty,
but you can't diminish
the danger.
Mike tried to tame a story,
and it turned on him.
Now, I feel compelled
to say something
about the difference
between Mike's caged story
about Doug and the stories I've
been telling you today;
and that difference really is
embedded in two things.
One is the relation that we have
to the stories that we tell,
and the second is our intention
when we tell those stories.
I saw that lion in the zoo
and the ones on the savanna.
I stayed to listen
to Mike's talk three times
in a row.
I can stand
in an authentic relationship
with those stories;
and when I tell them
to you here today,
I tell them with the hope
that they will provoke your
thinking about storytelling
and not with the intention
that they will get you thinking
something about me.
Mike constructed a story
and when --
and he couldn't stand
in authentic relationship
to that constructed story.
And when he told it,
he told it with the intention
to show people something
about him and not something
about Doug.
Powerful story telling is
when we tell stories
of our own experience the way we
experienced it.
Conveying the story as food
for thought and not
with the intention
of manipulating our listeners
into doing or thinking something
in particular.
If you're a leader, of course,
you should tell stories.
But if the only stories you have
are ones that you have to put
in cages, then that is a time
when you should not
tell stories.
That is the time
to do something else.
So what could Mike have done?
Mike didn't have a story
about Doug that was alive
on the savanna,
but he did have some choices.
Mike could have invited those
of us who knew Doug well
to tell him some of our stories
about Doug.
And then Mike could have gotten
on that stage
and he could have said, "Look,
I only knew Doug for a couple
of weeks; but here's what I know
about him from the stories I've
heard you tell."
Or even better,
Mike could have invited some
of us to come up.
He could have shared that stage
like a warm hood, to come
and tell our stories
about Doug directly
to our fellow employees,
little stories,
like the one I just told you
about the high road.
Instead of trying
to cage the perfect story,
Mike could have listened.
So that's Mike.
What about you?
If you don't have a story
that you can stand
in authentic relationship to,
then that's a time to switch
from storytelling
to story listening.
It's a time to switch.
Don't worry
about the three-point template
for constructing the
perfect story.
There are stories all around you
that people would love
for you to hear.
What you need is a warm hood.
You need a warm hood
for those stories to jump
up on close enough
so that you can smell
their breath.
Now, when you're a leader,
it's easy to frighten people
and their stories;
and so you need to experiment
with ways to ask questions,
invite the stories, welcome them
on to that warm hood.
And once they get there,
the next step is to slow down.
Shut off the engine
so that you can really listen.
Is it dangerous just listening?
Sure it is.
But the danger is always
entwined with beauty.
You may hear some bad things,
but cage, no cage,
there's always risk;
so you might as well have it
from the stories
that are already roaming
around your organization.
Listening is sometimes more
difficult than telling,
but listening is what makes
storytelling possible.
It's what makes
storytelling worthwhile.
If you're a leader,
you can tell powerful stories;
but sometimes it's better
to listen powerfully.
Make a warm hood.
Then you'll be able
to look the stories
of your organization right
in the eye.
You'll be able
to hear them roar.
Thank you.
[applause]