♪ I have suffered in this jail ♪
♪ Have been trapped inside this cage for ages ♪
♪ This living 'ell ♪
♪ But if I try I can remember ♪
♪ Back before my life had ended ♪
♪ Before my happy days were over ♪
♪ Before I first heard the pealing of the bell ♪
(magical twinkling)
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle ♪
(baby burps) (parents sighing and laughing)
♪ My daddy says I'm his special little guy ♪
♪ I am a Princess ♪
♪ I am a Prince ♪
♪ Mum says I'm a angel sent down from the sky ♪
♪ My daddy says I'm his special little soldier ♪
♪ No one is as bold or tough as me ♪
♪ Has my daddy told ya ♪
♪ One day when I'm older ♪
♪ I can be a soldier ♪
♪ Punch you in the face ♪
(baby cooing) (camera clicking)
♪ Take another picture of our pumpkin ♪
♪ From this angle over here ♪
♪ I know we oughtn't say this ♪
♪ But she's clearly cuter than her peers ♪
♪ What a dear ♪
♪ Yoo-Hoo, honey, look at mummy ♪
♪ Try not to vomit on your brother ♪
♪ Now, smile for mummy ♪
♪ Smile for mother ♪
♪ I think she blinked ♪
♪ Well, take another ♪
♪ Have you seen what he can do ♪
♪ Is that unusual for day two ♪
♪ Is smiling early not a sign of an exceptional IQ ♪
♪ She's just delightful ♪
♪ So intuitive ♪
♪ So insightful ♪
♪ Might he be a little brighter than the norm ♪
♪ I know to say it's frightful form ♪
♪ Take another ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle ♪
♪ One look at my face, and it's plain to see ♪
♪ Ever since the day Doc chopped the umbilical cord ♪
♪ It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle ♪
♪ That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball ♪
♪ You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical ♪
♪ There's never been a miracle, as factually spectacularly ♪
♪ Actually miraculously ♪
♪ Fabulous a miracle as me ♪
- A baby?
I'm not having a baby, what on earth gives you that idea?
I'm not listenin' to this, this is quackery.
- But you're about to give birth.
- Are you out of your mind?
- Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction.
- I'm not having contractions!
Contractions are for pregnant woman
who are having babies.
I'm having a stinkin' baby.
♪ Every life I bring into this world ♪
♪ Restores my faith in humankind ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh! Oh! ♪
♪ Each newborn life, a canvas yet unpainted ♪
♪ Their still unbroken skin ♪
♪ Their uncorrupted minds ♪
♪ Every life is unbelievably unlikely ♪
♪ The chances of existence ♪
♪ Almost infinitely small ♪
♪ The most common thing in life is life ♪
♪ And yet every single life ♪
♪ Every new life is a miracle ♪
♪ Miracle ♪
- What?
- A girl.
- What you mean my son is a girl?
- I mean that your daughter is a girl.
- Yeah but the balloons, doctor.
I mean, the balloons.
They say boy.
- Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth
to a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl.
She's perfect.
This is fantastic news.
♪ Why do bad things always happen to good people ♪
♪ Fine upstanding citizens like you and me ♪
♪ Why when we've done nothing wrong ♪
♪ Should this disaster come along ♪
♪ This horrible ♪
♪ Miracle ♪
♪ Weird looking ♪
♪ Miracle ♪
♪ Hairy little stinky thing ♪
♪ With no sign of a winky-dink at all ♪
♪ Every life is a miracle ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle ♪
♪ One look at my face, and it's plain to see ♪
♪ Ever since the day Doc chopped the umbilical cord ♪
♪ It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a miracle ♪
♪ That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball ♪
♪ You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical ♪
♪ There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm ♪
♪ My daddy says I'm a bore ♪
♪ My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ ♪
♪ That kids like me should be against the law ♪
♪ My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole ♪
♪ No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me ♪
♪ Mum says I'm a good case for population control ♪
♪ Dad says I should watch more TV ♪
♪ Jack and Jill went up the hill ♪
♪ To fetch a pail of water ♪
♪ So they say the subsequent fall was inevitable ♪
♪ They never stood a chance ♪
♪ They were written that way ♪
♪ Innocent victims of their story ♪
♪ Like Romeo and Juliet ♪
♪ 'Twas written in the stars before they even met ♪
♪ That love and fate and a touch of stupidity ♪
♪ Would rob them of their hope of living happily ♪
♪ The endings are often a little bit gory ♪
♪ I wonder why they didn't just change their story ♪
♪ We're told we have to do what we're told but surely ♪
♪ Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty ♪
(upbeat music)
♪ Just because you find that life's not fair ♪
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it ♪
♪ If you always take it on the chin and wear it ♪
♪ Nothing will change ♪
♪ Even if you're little you can do a lot ♪
♪ You mustn't let a little thing like little stop you ♪
♪ If you sit around and let them get on top ♪
♪ You might as well be saying you think that it's okay ♪
♪ And that's not right ♪
♪ And if it's not right ♪
♪ You have to put it right ♪
(upbeat music)
♪ In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt ♪
♪ The seed of a war in a creak of a floorboard ♪
♪ A storm can begin with a flap of a wing ♪
♪ The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting ♪
♪ Every day starts with a tick of a clock ♪
♪ All escapes start with the click of a lock ♪
♪ If you're stuck in your story and want to get out ♪
♪ You don't have to cry ♪
♪ You don't have to shout ♪
♪ Cause if you're little you can do a lot ♪
♪ You mustn't let a little thing like little stop you ♪
♪ If you sit around and let them get on top ♪
♪ You won't change a thing ♪
♪ Just because you find that life's not fair ♪
♪ It doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it ♪
♪ If you always take it on the chin and wear it ♪
♪ You might as well be saying you think that's it's okay ♪
♪ And that's not right ♪
♪ And if it's not right ♪
♪ You have to put it right ♪
♪ But nobody else is gonna put it right for me ♪
♪ Nobody but me is gonna change my story ♪
♪ Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty ♪
- What have you done to my hair?
♪ And so you think you're able ♪
♪ To survive this mess by ♪
♪ Being a prince or a princess ♪
♪ You will soon see ♪
♪ There's no escaping tragedy ♪
♪ And even if you put in heaps of effort ♪
♪ You're just wasting energy ♪
♪ 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history ♪
♪ I have suffered in this jail ♪
♪ Have been trapped inside this ♪
♪ Cage for ages ♪
♪ This living 'ell ♪
♪ But if I try I can remember ♪
♪ Back before my life had ended ♪
♪ Before my happy days were over ♪
♪ Before I first heard the ♪
♪ Pealing of the bell ♪
♪ Like you, I was curious ♪
♪ So innocent, I asked a thousand questions ♪
♪ But unless you want to suffer ♪
♪ Listen up and I will teach you ♪
♪ A thing or two ♪
♪ You listen here, my dear ♪
♪ You'll be punished ♪
♪ So severely if you ♪
♪ Step out of line ♪
♪ And if you cry it will be double ♪
♪ You should stay out of trouble ♪
♪ And remember to be extremely careful ♪
- Why?
- [All] Why?
- Why?
Did you hear what we said?
- [All] Just you wait for Phys-Ed.
- What's Phys-Ed?
- Physical education.
- [All] The Trunchbull specialty.
- Who are you?
- We're prefects.
We're here to take you to class.
- So we're going to start learning?
- Oh, you'll start learning all right
- Wait, I already know the alphabet.
- You don't know the alphabet
until we learn you the alphabet.
♪ And so you think you're able ♪
♪ To survive this mess by ♪
♪ Being a prince or a princess ♪
♪ You will soon see ♪
♪ There's no escaping tragedy ♪
♪ And even if you put in heaps of effort ♪
♪ You're just wasting energy ♪
♪ 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history ♪
♪ I have suffered in this jail ♪
♪ Have been trapped inside this ♪
♪ Cage for ages ♪
♪ This living 'ell ♪
♪ But if I try I can remember ♪
♪ Back before my life had ended ♪
♪ Before my happy days were over ♪
♪ Before I first heard the ♪
♪ Pealing of the bell ♪
♪ Like you, I was curious ♪
♪ So innocent, I asked a thousand questions ♪
♪ But unless you want to suffer ♪
♪ Listen up and I will teach you ♪
♪ A thing or two ♪
♪ You listen here, my dear ♪
♪ You'll be punished ♪
♪ So severely if you ♪
♪ Step out of line ♪
♪ And if you cry it will be double ♪
♪ You should stay out of trouble ♪
♪ And remember to be extremely careful ♪
- Why?
♪ Why ♪
- Why?
Didn't you hear what we said?
- [Ms. Trunchbull] I have become aware that some of you
are not yet in class.
Correct this, you have five seconds to comply
♪ A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X ♪
♪ Why, why, why, why, why, why, why ♪
- [Ms. Trunchbull] Two.
- Lavender, Matilda, inside quick.
- [Ms. Trunchbull] One.
- Just you wait for Phys-Ed.
- An exception.
To the rules.
In my school?
♪ Look at my trophies ♪
♪ See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight ♪
♪ See how they shine ♪
♪ What do you think it took to become ♪
♪ English Hammer Throwing Champion 1959 ♪
♪ Do you think in that moment ♪
♪ When my big moment came ♪
♪ That I treated the rules with casual disdain ♪
♪ Well, like hell ♪
♪ As I stepped up to the circle ♪
♪ Did I change my plan ♪
♪ Hm, what ♪
♪ As I chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands ♪
♪ I did not ♪
♪ As I started my spin, did I look at the view ♪
♪ Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two ♪
♪ Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation ♪
♪ Do you think I altered my intended elevation ♪
♪ As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt ♪
♪ From the grunt I had practiced for many a month ♪
♪ Not a jot ♪
♪ Not a dot did I stray from the plot ♪
♪ Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten ♪
♪ Not even when the hammer left my hands ♪
♪ And sailed high up, up above the stands ♪
♪ Did I let myself go ♪
♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪
(cheerful music)
♪ If you want to throw the hammer for your country ♪
♪ You have to stay inside the circle all the time ♪
♪ If you want to make the team ♪
♪ You don't need happiness or self-esteem ♪
♪ You just need to keep your feet inside the line ♪
♪ Sing, children. Two, three, four ♪
♪ If you want to throw the hammer for your country ♪
♪ You have to stay inside the circle ♪
♪ All the time ♪
♪ And if you want to teach success ♪
♪ You don't use sympathy or tenderness ♪
♪ Tenderness ♪
♪ You have to force the little squits to toe the line ♪
- Sing Jenny.
♪ If you want to throw the hammer for your country ♪
♪ Bambinatum est Maggitum ♪
♪ You have to stay inside the circle all the time ♪
♪ Maggitum, Maggitum ♪
♪ Circulum est ♪
♪ Deus, Deus ♪
♪ Gloria ♪
♪ I apply just one simple rule ♪
♪ To hammer-throwing, life, and school ♪
♪ Life's a ball, so learn to throw it ♪
♪ Find the bally line and toe it ♪
♪ And always keep your feet inside the line ♪
- Now get out.
(door slams)
Eat.
- He can't
- Eat. - He surely can't
- Eat - He might explode.
- Eat
♪ A single slice ♪
♪ Or even two, Bruce ♪
♪ Might have been nice ♪
♪ But even you, Bruce ♪
♪ Have to admit ♪
♪ Between you and it ♪
♪ There's not a lot of difference in size ♪
♪ He can't, he can, Bruce ♪
♪ He surely can't ♪
♪ You are the man, Bruce ♪
♪ He might explode ♪
♪ He's quite elastic ♪
♪ He's going to blow ♪
♪ Make him stop ♪
♪ He's fantastic ♪
♪ Look at him go ♪
♪ I can't watch ♪
♪ I think in effect ♪
♪ This must confirm, Bruce ♪
♪ What we all suspected ♪
♪ You have a worm, Bruce ♪
♪ Or maybe your largeness ♪
♪ Is a bit like the TARDIS ♪
♪ Considerably roomier inside ♪
♪ He can't, he can, Bruce ♪
♪ He surely can't ♪
♪ You are the man, Bruce ♪
♪ B R O O C E ♪
♪ Bruce ♪
♪ You'll never again be subject to abuse ♪
♪ For your immense caboose ♪
♪ She'll call a truce, Bruce ♪
♪ With every swallow you are ♪
♪ Tightening the noose ♪
♪ We never thought it was possible ♪
♪ But here it is coming true ♪
♪ We can have our cake and eat it too ♪
♪ The time has come to put that tumbly tum to use ♪
♪ No excuse, Bruce ♪
♪ Let out your belt ♪
♪ I think you'll want your trousers loose ♪
♪ Stuff it in Bruce ♪
♪ You're almost finished Bruce ♪
♪ You'll fit it in ♪
♪ Whatever you do just don't give in Bruce ♪
♪ Don't let her win ♪
♪ Come on Bruce, be our hero ♪
♪ Cover your self in chocolate glory ♪
♪ Bruce ♪
♪ You'll never again be subject to abuse ♪
♪ For your immense caboose ♪
♪ She'll call a truce, Bruce ♪
♪ Just one more bite and you'll have ♪
♪ Completely cooked her goose ♪
♪ We never thought it was possible ♪
♪ But here it is coming true ♪
♪ We can have our cake and eat it ♪
(harmonizing)
- Go on Brucey.
(Miss Honey screaming)