Alright, this should be fun.
My next guest has been gently skewering politics for decades
with his secret comedy weapon, ragtime piano music.
Your parents probably have some of his old records
like "The First of July" and "D-C-P-U."
Well, earlier today
I'm told he performed at the presidential inauguration,
please welcome Political Song Parodist Tip Rivers.
Hey tip?
Hello Conan.
Tip Rivers reporting for duty. (chuckles)
Hey, I'm speaking of duty,
I think we can all agree
that something stinks in our country right now.
Don't get me started.
You are clever.
Well, that's exactly why I can't wait to hear
your comedic take on the state of politics
using the power of old fashioned piano music.
Well, I shall do my able best,
why don't I begin with a classic presidential tune,
with a twist.
Okay, this sounds scandalous and fun.
Let's hear it.
Haha, and the way we go.
♪ Hello to the chief ♪
♪ We have chosen for the nation ♪
♪ Donald J. Trump ascending to his kingly throne ♪
♪ Hello to our king who'll incarcerate Joe Biden ♪
♪ And give Nobel prizes to king rockin' Roger Stone ♪
♪ Long live Donald Trump ♪
(Tip chuckles)
Wait a minute, I'm sorry,
you played that song at President Biden's inauguration?
Biden, no, no, no, no.
Don't be ridiculous Conan,
I would never participate in that farce,
We've gotta stop the steal.
I performed that song at the inauguration
for Donald Trump's rightful second term.
No, wait a minute,
there was no inauguration for President Trump's second term,
that didn't happen.
No, yes, yes, there was a small gathering
of patriots conducted the ceremony today
at 'White House Paint Supplies.'
That's a across the street from the Deldor factory.
All right. You know it?
No, I don't know the Deldor factory
and it just sounds sad to me.
Oh, it's not sad at all, they throw all of the imperfect
and your regular deldors in a large trash bin outside
and a lot of them are perfectly fine-
Okay Tip, you're missing the point,
Tip, Tip, we've talked about this before.
We've never talked about the Deldor factory-
Not the Deldor factory, we've talked about your career.
In the old days your songs were gentle and fun
and they were less right wing.
I see what you're saying,
you wanted a song that isn't quite as triggering
for sensitive lips like yourself,
is that what you're saying?
I dare not melt the snowflake that is Conan O'Brien.
Okay, al right, very funny.
No, I just liked your old style.
All right, let's set all that aside
and Conan I'll sing you a fun song just like you like.
Conan, are you a fan of history?
I am a big history buff.
Well, very good.
Okay, how about this?
A song about our country's revolutionary heroes,
you're gonna enjoy this.
Take it away.
And away we go.
♪ The heroes go marching to the top mega, mega ♪
♪ The heroes break windows and shove corps, mega, mega ♪
♪ The heroes storm the Capitol steps ♪
♪ To smear feces on Pelosi's desk ♪
♪ And we salute their bravery, hurraa ♪
(Tip chuckles)
Tip stop it.
The people who stormed the Capitol
weren't revolutionary war heroes, they were criminals
possibly domestic terrorists.
Well, Conan you say tomato, I say tomato.
No, you can't honor those people with that song.
What are you high?
As a matter of fact, I am a little high.
Yes, it's fair to point that out.
I usually sing in a nice tenor
but today I seem to be going up into an alto, little joke.
That's a little musical joke Conan, but no,
I do understand what you're saying,
you're accusing me of using drugs
but I'm happy to say, Conan, that I'm 100% drug free
with the exception of an occasional stool softener
and oh, an anti-psychotics that I am required to take
as a result of a recent court ruling,
but I don't always take it.
All right Tip, that's clear that you don't always take it
and I'll be honest with you,
I was a fan of your old work, now I'm worried about you.
I can leave the room, all right.
This is not a big truth crowd,
you like something that's soft and gentle.
Okay, so just let me go out on a high note,
I'll play you something I know you'll like.
All right, can you do me a favor?
Don't sing anything political.
You have a political song parrot on the show
and you don't wanna hear anything political.
Well, after I've heard what you're doing now, no,
I don't wanna hear any of that.
Well, that's fine, no problem at all.
How about this?
Well Conan, Earth Day is right around the corner.
Well, no, it's in April,
so it's not right around the corner.
This'll hold.
How about a salute to the planet Earth,
which is the only planet we currently live on.
That's fair, let's hear that.
And away we go. (chuckles)
♪ Happy Earth Day to me ♪
♪ Happy Earth Day to you ♪
♪ Happy earth day to the climate ♪
♪ That's controlled by the Jews ♪
No, no! Don't get me started-
No, no, no, no, no, no, Tip.
That is- It's a real problem.
That is- We cannot have any one group
of people controlling the weather let alone the Jews.
Jewish people are not controlling the weather,
that's insane Tip, stupid.
Conan, the weather controlling machine
is in a little compound just outside the Tel Aviv.
[Conan] That's okay, no, you know what?
You have a- Range, or a windstorm,
or any weather you can imagine, that's where it comes from.
Yeah, we have a great show tonight ladies and gentlemen,
I apologize for the city at Max Greenfield.
Don't apologize-
Max Greenfield will be joining us-
So they can hide when they turn themselves
into bats, Conan.
They don't, Jewish people don't become bats, you idiot!
Of course, yes, of course they do.
They do not!
(Tip faintly speaking)
Max Greenfield will be with us,
we'll be right back and I apologize for this moron.
I apologize for Conan.
No, I apologize for you.
You look like a racist Orville C. Redenbacher.
What do you mean a racist Orville C. Redenbacher?
He was pretty racist.
Okay, well that's...
Now we've lost a sponsor.
Good job.