- This is why we not together. (laughs)
(upbeat Christmas music)
- So, today
- I'm here
- To surprise
- My ex
- With a Christmas gift. It's a little weird,
awkward to me but it's a good way to see her.
I miss her a little bit,
not a lot, just a little.
Interviewer - Have you gotten him any gifts in the past?
- No.
- In the past, I've bought her a lot of food.
Did I buy her jewelry?
Maybe like a phone bill payment or something.
- What do I hope he gets me?
Something nice, not a gag gift.
Not a gag gift.
Dave's gonna go first.
Disappointment first.
- I guess I'll go first.
(Christmas music)
- Yeah, give me the disappointment first.
- Alright, here's your gift.
- Thank you.
It's a cute box.
- I know.
(record stops)
- I hate you. (laughs)
So, I got bacon flavored or smelling band-aids.
(snickering)
And a Starbucks gift card.
Is there money on the gift card?
- Yeah.
- Okay. (laughs)
The Starbucks gift card is good.
- The bacon flavored --
- What is that first?
- It's a gag gift.
- Not a gag gift.
(bell chimes)
This is why. (laughs)
This is why we not together.
It says sending you a heartfelt,
but the heartfelt part is crossed out,
wishes for a wonderful holiday season
and a happy New Year.
To my ex Kali.
He didn't even sign his name.
It just says to my ex Kali.
That's who I'm dealing with.
- It's pretty good, right?
- No. - Starbucks?
- It's not pretty good. - You love Starbucks.
- I do love Starbucks, but I don't like bacon band-aids.
- She don't eat pork,
so I thought it was funny.
- It's not funny.
- (laughing) To give her bacon band-aids.
- It's not.
- So annoying.
- Let's see what Kali got me.
I think she wants to get back,
David with a heart. (crowd awing)
Oo, she's spending money money.
I went to Dollar Tree for your card.
(record stops)
Wishing you happiness, friendship,
and fun in the holiday season.
That's a wonderful one!
Merry Christmas, Kali.
This heavy.
Oh, what I told you?
Am I not a genius?
- You're not a genius.
- Where did I say the gift was gonna come from?
Bath and Body Works for men. (laughs)
- Okay, but keep going.
- What is this one?
- Oh, what is that one?
- Oh! We got a box.
She proposing.
- I'm not proposing.
Merry Christmas!
- Oh, that is the dopest gift ever
and it says merry Christmas!
I feel good about my gift.
Thank you, Kali.
- You're welcome.
- See? But it's about time she reciprocate
what I put into the relationship.
- Oh. So none of the TLC that I put in,
none of the time, the care, the love,
the back rubs, popping pimples,
none of that counts.
- I don't get pimples, first off.
- But I would pop them if you did.
- See? Exactly, my skin is dope and flawless.
- And because I kept it moisturized and hydrated.
You do facials now, right?
- Yep.
- Okay. Upgrade.
- Overall, I'm happy that we did this
because on any other circumstance,
I don't think I would've given Kali a gift.
- I'm happy we did this so that I can
just show David that I'm still better than him.
- Yeah.
Interviewer - Do you guys ever think
you're gonna get back together?
- No. - No.
Absolutely not.
(laughing)
Hell no.
There's not a chance. - No.
(jazzy Christmas music)