A bar in St. Louis is offering patrons
an all-you-can-drink for one hour for just ten dollars.
I don't know if this sounds fun, dangerous or other.
I mean, could you imagine
the conversations in that bar?
-Just, "Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro." -(laughter)
"Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro." Everyone's named Chad.
"Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro."
-And all the girls, like... -Yeah, you say, "Chad,"
-35 people turn around. -Yeah.
And all the girls like... (mutters nasally gibberish)
-(laughter) -SPADE: Exactly.
That's every... I used to go to one in Arizona, and it was...
One night, at a devil house...
There was a devil house that we called "The Butt Hut."
And, uh... not anymore.
And, uh... and then, uh, there was this other place,
but they had...
It was quarter beer night.
And so, the worst part was, you give 'em a dollar,
and he's like, "Do I get to keep it?"
But I go, "I'll take three beers,
and then, uh, you can keep the rest for yourself." Yeah.
-SHIPP: Oh, no. High roller. -'Cause that's...
But they also... They did a thing
where they would have it quarter beer
until someone went to the bathroom, and then...
-Oh, really? -And then, whoever went was the biggest loser.
-Yeah. -Ooh. -'Cause everyone would go, "You ruined it!"
Yeah. And then we'd assault him in the parking lot!
-Yeah. -SPADE: Yeah.
-ASU! -Seems like that kind of place.
-Yeah, that was our college. -Yeah?
I was in a fraternity, so, you know, we beat up people.
-Yeah. -No, I got beat up a lot,
'cause I was hazed. -SHIPP: Yeah. -DeVINE: Were you?
-Yeah, and I... -What was that like? -Yeah.
-Arizona State. -Yeah, you went to ASU. -I can see people
picking on you with your size and hair.
(laughter)
I'm just a pick-on-me machine. My God. They won't...
They were hazing me. Other fraternities were hazing me.
I'm like, "You can't do it."
Uh... Yes, you were saying something.
They go hard in Arizona. I'm from Phoenix,
-and they... they go hard. -SPADE: You are?
Yeah, they haze in high school and stuff, too.
They'll throw pennies at freshmen.
They took my money every day at school...
-SHIPP: Yeah. I would. ...when I was in eighth grade.
And then I go, uh... All up to eighth grade, and they go...
They just walk up, and I... They go, "Hey, man."
And I go, "No, no, here you go. What do you want-- small bills?"
You never put up a fight. Well, I got little ching-ching.
Ching-ching, ching-ching. Um...
I hope they bring this drinking thing over into other places.
Like, I want an all-you-can-smoke place.
That's for sure.
I'm down to put a couple of weed places out of business.
(laughter)
All right, speaking of stoners-- you-- um,
Adidas just launched a line of clothes and shoes
exclusively for gardening, and they say it's "horti-couture."
-(bleep) you, idiot. -DeVINE: Yeah. yeah.
Horti-couture.
And, uh, my gardener's already sponsored by Nike,
so he can't do it, but, uh...
It's like, if this is streetwear,
your street is a cul-de-sac.
I'm not gonna let y'all talk trash about this.
This is fire to me. I have...
I, for one... I'm excited for the Tim Allen collection.
-The ultimate normcore. -Yeah.
Yeah, but I have to say that the girl in this ad is exceptional.
She is not only beautiful, but she's giving, like,
profile side-face leaf blower?
Liz, can we go wider on this picture?
-DeVINE: Hot mom. -LIZ: No.
-Oh. -Oh.
-Go (bleep) me. -We don't have the technology.
Well, let's picture this pretty girl over here.
-Yeah. -Uh, yeah. -I think this is the type of ad we need.
Would it be less like LeBron, Michael Jordan.
That's not reasonable.
This is what you can actually become.
-SPADE: That's true. -(laughter)
-This is attainable. -Yeah.
This is highly attainable. Just mow the lawn,
get drunk, take a nap.
-(laughter) -SHIPP: Yeah.
Like, show the kid from the...
You know that kid-- Tim Chamalama-ding-dong?
What's he...? Chamalama?
-Chalamet. -Yeah. -Yeah.
He was wearing this to a premiere.
So here's... Rich people.
You wear the work thing to the nice thing.
-Mm-hmm. -And then, when you go
-to garden, you dress up. -SHIPP: Yeah.
Again, this is fire. You guys are wrong.
-That's a great outfit. -SPADE: Yeah, I know.
Like he just straight-up walked out of 101 Dalmatians!
(laughter)
I can tell he's a painter. He's not a good one.
All right, uh, Liz, can we go wider on this?
-LIZ: No. -Goddamn.
(indistinct chatter)
(bleep) low blow.
-In theatres. -Uh, all right.
Miley Cyrus started dating
Australian musician Cody Simpson,
and, uh, Bieber left an Instagram comment
asking if he wanted to go
on a double date with him, uh, and Hailey Baldwin.
Is that them?
-Oh, are they on a date there? -SHIPP: No.
Don't blame me. I'm not gonna ask
-if we can go tighter on that. -Oh, I thought...
This looks like a picture from the Sesame Street opioid thing.
-(laughter) -Yeah. -Born addicted.
Yeah, that's their new characters.
He got married, so if you...
Doubling already. Is it... Is it...?
Yeah, it's a sad... It's not going well.
-SPADE: Is it really? -I need to get out of the house.
Two weeks in? But they seem pretty stoked.
They seem fun. She always dates Australian.
I think she's trying to burn the Australian guy.
-DeVINE: Yeah, she might be. -SHIPP: Oh.
You know what? That's a good angle.
I think it's actually very positive
-for their relationship, though. -SPADE: Okay.
'Cause Justin was known as a real party boy, a playboy.
He would cheat on people, and it's...
And that's a lesson for anyone in a relationship.
Don't cheat. Just get together on a double date,
go to that bar in St. Louis where you can drink too much
-(laughter) -and... hope for the best.
-(applause) -And switch partners.
That is a real lesson.
Actually, uh, he's got these shoes on.
-Can we go to that picture? -(laughter)
Look at these Hovershoes.
-Are those Crocs? -That's the meth dealer
-from The Jetsons right there. -(laughter)