Hello spicy people of the internet,
My name is Spice 8 Rack aka. Tyler the Creator but taller, and welcome to the first part in my War of the Spark series:
The Entire War of the spark novel in a tight 15 minutes.
But first, this video and all future videos on this channel are made possible
thanks to the support of my wonderful patrons some of whom include:
Sasha Evelyn Francis, PapaTitan14, DatAssIsCash, lovely, and Stingray.
Thank you all so much and to everybody else who supports me on Patreon.
Right, let's get straight into it with:
Chapter One.
Ugin and Niv Mizzet (who is dead and in a shoebox) are hanging out on Bolas’ mediation realm.
We'll get to them later.
Chapter 2
Some Doofus called Teyo gets caught in a diamond storm on his two-sunned, desert homeplane of
Amonkhe- I mean
Rabia- I mean
Gobakhan and, when he sees some sparkly lights
He planeswalks for his first time and lands in...
Chapter Three.
Chandra is hanging out in her mum's kitchen with Jace, Gideon, Ajani, Jaya, and Karn,
waiting for Liliana. She doesn't show up but their Uber's here so they all planeswalk to...
Chapter Four.
Ral Zerek is on his planar beacon and wakes up Lavinia and Kaya
because they both got knocked out during a fight with Nicol Bolas and Tezzeret
during which, Nicol Bolas killed Niv Mizzet, and Tezzeret
Mind-controlled Lavinia into killing Rakdos's envoy Hekara, who we have not met
Does that seem like a lot of information for one chapter?
Well it is and now we get to meet...
Chapter Five.
Liliana as she watches Nicol Bolas and Tezzeret erect a massive Nicol pillar and Bolas pyramid and then mopes.
Ravnica is where Teyo lands and is greeted by a girl called rat who talks a loooooooot.
Chapter Seven.
Ravnica is where Jace and the other gatewatch affiliated folks turn up. Specifically in Jace's library, in the embassy of the guildpact.
Lavinia, is there somehow and brings everyone up to speed.
Isperia? Dead.
The Golgari? Fighting amongst themselves now that Vraska's disappeared.
The Simic and Selesnya? Dug in.
The Gruul? Lead by Domri now.
Rakdos? Pissed that Hekara's dead.
The Azorius? Being run by Dovin.
Orzhov? Kaya's on side, but the guild is apathetic.
Dimir? Who knows!
The Izzet and the Boros? Solidly on-side.
Jace, overwhelmed by the exposition dump goes mad and tells Gideon to planeswalk away.
He tries, and finds out that the immortal sun is on Ravnica and somebody turned it on.
Chapter Eight
Gideon, concerned about Jace's mental health, follows him and to ferry into the streets of Ravnica under the cover of being invisible when some dickwad
accidentally accesses Ravnica's Dev Room
which glitches a hole in the world and causes a bunch of zombies to come in from the Egyptian RP server a couple of doors down.
Chapter 9
Dack Fayden finally lands after accidentally opening his parachute straight after jumping off the battle bus and gets stuck on a rooftop.
Chapter Ten.
Oh no!
Chandra, Jaya, Karn, and Ajani were all in the building that's now mostly void orb.
Luckily, they all survived. Thank God the story almost had tension for a second there.
Chapter Twelve.
Jace is all like: "Aw no N.B."
I challenge you to a LIVE TWITCH DEBATE. But when he tries to destroy the dragon with facts and The Guildpact
it turns out that that only works if the building that just got blown up, doesn't get blown up.
Dang, Son. What a pickle!
Chapter Thirteen.
Gideon watches in horror as Lilliana shows up and begins using Bolas’s Eternal Army to kill a bunch of people.
Chapter Fourteen.
Liliana watches in horror as she kills a bunch of people.
But then rationalizes it and continues to murder
Chapter 15
Kaya and Ral turn up to the plaza and kill some zombies and they meet Teyo and Rat.
Chapter Sixteen.
Ral, Kaya, Teyo and Rat fight their way to the Gatewatch.
Chapter Seventeen.
Vraska is hanging out with a Goblin on a boat…
Neat!
Chapter Eighteen.
Liliana gets really sad that she's doing all of this killing...
She then continues killing.
Chapter Nineteen.
Teyo tries to keep everyone shielded whilst he does his best to pick up
everybody's names, bonds, classes, ideals, flaws, and what the heck is a "Zendikar" is.
Karl steal- hmm.
Karn steal- [Laughter]
"Karl"
[Laughter]
"Karl the Silver Golem"
Karn steals Ral's goggles,
casts a spell and now all of the important characters have a different coloured names above their heads.
A bit like my patrons...
Chapter 20.
Dack Fayden still can’t find a way off the roof.
Chapter 21
Gideon and Ajani fight alongside each-other.
Vivien turns up and she’s like: “Sup”. And they’re like:
“Sup, we need a DPS for this raid”
And she's like: "Eh, sure."
And they all get on flying horses
as an anvil starts shooting lasers and angels at the zombies.
Chapter 22.
Jaya tells Chandra her pyromancy is sloppy and her handwriting is abysmal
When Vitu-Ghazi stands up and is all like
Turns out though that Nissa is standing on top of Vitu-Ghazi
and the whole thing is just one big social experiment.
Chapter 23.
Ral looks for his boyfriend.
Ral does not find his boyfriend.
Chapter 24.
Kaya, Teyo and Rat try to sneak to Orzhova but get cornered by eternals.
Luckily for them, before Kaya wall clips away, Domri shows up and kills the zombies with some Gruul warriors.
One of them is rats dad, but he forgot to pay child support this month
and so pretends he doesn't see her.
Chapter 25.
Nissa's prank gets way out of hand when Vitu-Ghazi destroys some private property and its owner
responds by calling his four lawyers who proceeded to rip the city trees arms off.
Gideon asks: "Do you have another one?" and Karn summons and then place a swanee whistle.
Chapter 26.
Teyo gets a rapid introduction to things like Merfolk when Kiora and Samut show up and do some murdering.
Domri sees the Zombie Gods show up and piledrive Treebeard and he’s all like:
"Hell Yeah! Now it's a party!"
and jogs off to join Bolas.
Rat’s dad already has one kid to not look after, so he goes to hang out with Borborygmos.
Chapter 27.
Dack Fayden watches Domri’s negotiation with Bolas which lasts for three seconds
and ends with Domri getting his spark ripped out and body turned into a raisin.
Chapter 28.
Nicol Bolas gloats.
Chapter 29.
Kaya gets a notification on Jace’s mental group chat and, before she mutes it, she sees a random Viashino get raisen’d in front of her
~ the most haunting of dried fruits ~
And decides to go hang out with David Blaine after all.
Chapter 30.
Jace is sad or some s***
Chapter 31
Ral does that recap thing that Lavinia did in chapter 7, with the only changes being that Domri's dead
and Vorel's turned up to the meeting to rep' the simic.
He asks Kaya if she’s seen Tomik, but she hasn’t.
Ain’t no place for Twinks in the GHOST REALM.
Chapter 32.
Jace defends Vraska’s straight up murder of Isperia whilst he stands directly below her corpse, and takes stock of what he’s working with.
Huatli is here, as is Angrath who is sniffing Arlinn,
Mu and Jiang are fighting over who gets the card and everyone decides they like Mowu more than Mu.
Narset is there and spelt wrong and Ob Nixilis and Nahiri are just chilling out despite… you know… being responsible for many murders.
Jace sets out five sidequests that must be completed before everyone can level up.
1) The planar beacon needs to get shut down.
2) The immortal sun needs to get turned off.
3) Someone needs to shut that door, it’s letting all the sand in.
4) Liliana needs to be murdered.
5) Bolas should also get killed at some point.
Ral butts in and says that all the guilds need to bring their infinity stones to his house,
but nobody listens because there's a big weird snake outside.
Chapter 33.
Kaya takes Nissa, Teyo and Rat to Selesnya lands and,
after Rat puts in a good word with her centaur godfather, everyone except for Nissa gets to go talk to the tree women.
Chapter 34.
Gideon fannys about on his pegasus and accidentally stabs Rhonas in the Rnoseus,- Rhno-
He stabs him in the nose and he dies.
Chapter 35.
Oh, hey, Liliana's in this story.
Chapter 36.
Teyo basks in the wonder of The Green whilst Emmara tries to get everyone to leave before they wa-
Oh n- look. Tronstani’s awake and supports plan anti-bolas. Great. Great,
It's gonna be hours before she goes to sleep again
cheers, Kaya.
Chapter 37.
Ral sucks a bunch of power out of his beacon and uses it to zap Khefnet’s arm off.
"You're no good, Duck."
Chapter 38.
Kaya, Rat and Teyo meet Borbygmos in his fightclub and Rat’s mother is there
is there SERIOUSLY nobody looking after this kid?
She's got like eight parents.
She whispers some terrible secret into Borborygmos’ ear and the giant buckles under the weight of her blackmail and joins the war.
Chapter 39.
In an act of boyish tomfoolery, Ob Nixilis kicks Dack Fayden a little too hard
and he flies over the hedge, through the planar Gate and lands in ol’ mister Bolas’ deserty ass backyard
and so Karn, Samut and Ob sheepishly go around the back to ask if they can have their toy back.
Chapter 40.
Ral gets introduced to Rat, who has selective telepathy and invisibility by the way.
Don't worry.
It's literally never important.
and they along with Teyo and Kaya go to the Golgari lands when SHOCK HORROR,
Vraska shows up! And she’s got a knife!
Chapter 41.
Dack wakes up in Amonkhet and watches Samut blow up some zombies and Ob get chonky.
In order to feel useful too, he throws a hand grenade at a piece of modern art but it turns out that was Tezzeret.
The seeker falls over, the portal closes, and he pieces out to the whole operation
but not before he's all like
“What’s up?”
“I’m not really a [PAWN OF NICOL BOLAS] I just came here for the fun,”
"F***"
Hazzoret shows up alongside Sarkhan and gives the team a quest reward in the form of her spear which Karn nabs for himself.
Ob calls bulls*** and disconnects from the game and so Sarkhan fills his open slot as they all Return to Ravnica.
Huh, that'd be a good name for a set.
Chapter 42.
Vraska lets Ajani put some kids in her sewer.
Chapter 43.
Davriel Cane saves Nissa’s life and Gideon punches a woman whilst Sorin and Nahiri have a little fight in the distance.
Chapter 44.
Chandra, Saheeli and Lavinia go to beat up Dovin, but they’ve got too much skin in the game and he manages to corner all three of them, but then:
[ExplosionSoundEffect.MP3]
he gets hit from behind by, Chandra??
But if Chandra’s behind him, who’s infront of him?
SYKE.
It was Lazav the whole time you IDIOT.
Dovin gets so pissed he gets set on fire and gets a throwing star stuck in his eye before he TPs away
and Chandra uses Siri to turn off the Immortal Sun.
Chapter 45.
Dack Fayden tries to do a war.
Chapter 46.
Kaya, Teyo, Rat, Ral and Vraska go visit Rakdos and Ral’s boyfriend brings them Hekara’s corpse as a gift.
She wakes back up after someone puts bells on her boobs, stabs Exava, makes Rat sad
and follows the rest of planeswalkers to take part in, what Ral calls “Project Desperation”.
Chapter 47.
Jace, Jaya, Teferi and Vivien shoot at Liliana but Nicol Bolas wants all her XP for himself
so he blows up the buildings they’re all standing on and, now that they don’t have the highground, they all run off.
Chapter 48.
Liliana is in physical and emotional pain and so eats two zombies like they’re ben and jerry’s to feel better.
Chapter 49.
Teyo watches as all the guild leaders and reps gather together as Nissa begins magical group therapy.
Kefnet tries to stop them all from accessing their repressed memories by punching Nissa
but Teyo shields them all in time for everyone to come to terms with their abandonment issues
and for Niv Mizzet to come back as the LIVING EMBODIMENT OF THE GUILDPACT ITSELF.
He flies up, punches Khefnet to death,
And, and then sleeps.
Chapter 50.
Ral leaves his masterplan napping as the gatewatch all retake their oaths and his boyfriend grabs a sword
and Ral considers if this would be a good time to propose.
Chapter 51.
Chandra and Nissa go for a walk.
That’s literally what happens in this chapter.
Chapter 52.
Vraska, tearful admits to Jace that she had her memories when she killed Isperia
that she had her memories when she betrayed Ral to Bolas and he’s all like:
“Eh, whatever babe”
and they begin the final assault on Bolas’ Citadel.
Chapter 53
Chandra sets the immortal sun on fire which actually turns it on,
despite the canon fact that it can only be activated with the sacrifice of a planeswalker spark,
because we’ve only got 15 chapters left of this absolute nonsense
and R&D didn’t allow for any planeswalkers not called Gideon to make any kind of sacrifice.
Chapter 54
Dack gets caught by an eternal, tries to planeswalk away,
gets stopped because Chandra turned the sun back on and gets desparked.
Oh so THIS is what the gay agenda is. I had been wondering.
Chapter 55.
Liliana sees Gideon flying at Bolas and waves to him but forgets to decouple from Oketra and she shoots his horse.
[Assorted Gunshots]
Chapter 56.
Kaya watches Gideon get shot down like a basic hoe and has a heart palpitation.
Chapter 57.
Jace watches Rakdos fly Gideon back up to Bolas-
[Children Cheering]
and then sees that Gideon bought a replica Blackblade to Ravnica rather than the real one.
[Price is Right “Guessed Wrong Dips***” Music Plays]
Chapter 58.
Nicol Bolas laughs at Gideon.
Chapter 59.
Bolas monologues to himself how he’d always know the Blackblade would be useless against him.
But, just before he can wax lyrical about how Chapter 58 was kind of redundant within the grand scheme of things.
Chapter 60.
Liliana finally has enough of murdering countless innocent civilians and calls Bolas a chud.
He responds by setting her on fire, but then Gideon wakes up and give her his infinite health cheatcode.
Bolas is strong enough at this point that he has mod powers and insta bans Gideon from the game.
Chapter 61.
Gideon hangs out with the ghosts of the children he murdered.
Chapter 62.
Liliana watches Gideon die.
Chapter 63.
Chandra is angry.
Chapter 64.
Nicol threatens Liliana but then Niv Mizzet stabs him with Hazzoret’s spear and Bontu bites all of the magic out of him.
Chapter 65.
Liliana watches Bolas turn to dust, lets Jace’s telepathy go to voicemail,
steals Bolas’ gem of becoming and then planeswalks away.
Chapter 66
Chandra is sad, professes her crush on Gideon and her love for Nissa,
quick turn around there, gurl. And then, respectfully
sets fire to all the remaining zombies.
Chapter 67.
Teyo somehow manages to not have a panic attack and watches everyone go home for the day.
Kaya swears herself into the gatewatch and she, ral and Vraska
are made to hunt down Liliana, Dovin and Tezzeret respectively
and then Chandra puts a leaf on Gideon’s armour.
Chapter 68
Turns out that Nicol Bolas isn’t really dead,
Ugin just told Jace to make it seem that way before kidnapping his brother for all eternity.
Chapter 69.
F***in’ Nice!
Bolas doesn’t have a name or a cool horn orb anymore
and is stuck in Ugin’s yoga room for the rest of time. Ugin is now big.
[Spice 8 Rack Theme Song Plays]
Huge, MASSIVE shoutout to JungleFiver and my wonderful patron ACertainRandomGuy
for letting me borrow their copies of War of the Spark when I couldn't get my own.
I am thinking of doing some kind of live-stream where I break down the novel in a much more analytical manner
chapter by chapter. So, do let me know if that's something you'd be interested in seeing.
And, as always: Stay Spicy!