James and I, we're looking for new members of our
queer chosen family.
On the count of three, you need to tell me your favourite queer icon.
One, two, three, go.
Taylor Swift.
Yes, correct. Oh my God. Absolutely.
Guys, no. This ain’t Taylor Swift.
Really? What about Taylor Swift? You don’t like Taylor Swift?
I mean, queer icon? I mean, come on.
- She wishes. - She is very straight.
Kia ora. I'm James Mustapic.
That poofter you've seen on TV, YouTube,
and probably Grindr, unfortunately.
For many queers, finding like-minded people is a crucial aspect of life.
But how do you go about building your own chosen whānau
if your biological one doesn't fit?
No offence to my mum. Love you, Mum.
Atu feels like he can't be his true self around his biological family.
So, my coming out story goes like this.
I was just recently getting obsessed with pole dancing,
so I ordered a pole online,
and I set it up in my room without my parents' knowledge.
And my mum was like,
'That's not a rugby ball.'
Like, what the fuck is that?
And then, of course, I start crying.
Everything just kind of spills out over an hour.
Afterwards, they had just completely been like, 'We still love you.
'We're sorry for our initial reaction.
'We were just a bit shocked.'
But now that we've had this conversation, they were like,
'No worries. We understand you're still you.'
Fijian families tend to be quite religious, bit more conservative.
I definitely feel like I have two different lives.
At home, I'm completely their version of how their son should be.
Like, the perfect Pacific kid.
And then, when I'm away, I'm like a completely different character.
I'm much more feminine to the nine.
Very flamboyant, much more bouncy.
Just doing tricks and splits everywhere I can.
We're here at the Big Gay Out, and we're going to find some people
to adopt into our chosen family.
I think we might have a chance to find some queers around here.
- Maybe. Let's go. - Can you see any?
No.
How will we know if we see them?
Meet Sam, the man behind Gloria of Greymouth.
A safe space for the rainbow communities of the West Coast.
Gloria of Greymouth is a sort of celebration of
small town and rural queerness
because the queers are everywhere and we shouldn't have to, sort of,
escape to Sydney in order to live our best selves.
Here in Greymouth, there's a really vibrant rainbow youth scene
and I hope that, by having something like Gloria, that they don't have
bad feelings about growing up queer in Greymouth.
People who visit Gloria are welcome to sign the visitors’ book.
Here's one from Sharon, a recent one.
This is yesterday. 'Wonderful.
'What a splash of pink you have made in a place named Grey.'
Someone called Flossie in January.
'This church is what my little heart needed to heal
'from the judgement and hurt of my childhood.'
Back to the Big Poof Out— sorry, Big Gay Out —
Rhiannon and I are still struggling to find our new chosen family.
It's good ice cream.
I'm Rhiannon and this is James,
and we're looking for a new chosen family.
Okay, what do you rate James's outfit on a scale of 1 to 10?
6!
A 6?
A 6?!?!
No! Sweetie, you are not a 6. Don't listen to them.
He needed glasses.
Atu has found a family where he feels that he can be his true self.
I got involved in the ballroom scene because,
coming out of high school, I kind of had no Pacific
or POC queer representation in my life.
Going to the balls was the first time I'd ever met other POC queer people
and very specifically, Pacific queer people.
It was beyond my wildest expectations and dreams.
They understood me in a way that
I had never experienced anyone could understand me before.
Whenever we need each other, we're there.
The support that we give each other is second to none.
I think my bottom's a bit big for this one.
This guy looks lonely. Let's get him.
Oh, great idea.
We're looking for a new chosen family, actually.
Do you think you have what it takes?
Okay, well, first things first. James' outfit, out of 10?
6.
No, no. What's with these 6s?
I'm sorry. It's just like, you know,
we have standards in this chosen family.
If you're not going to make the effort,
you're not going to make the cut.
Make the effort.
- James, James. - Should we..?
- I think he was hitting on you. - Really?
I think he was treating you mean and keeping you keen.
Oh, I like that.
Sam's chosen family rallied around him when the worst happened.
So, in June last year, I woke up to find
in red spray paint all down the side of Gloria;
anti-Semitic and homophobic graffiti.
The moment I saw it, I felt very isolated and far away
and scared, too.
I called one new friend here, and she called everyone else.
And then everyone just came with paint brushes and paint
and food and flowers and hugs and tears.
And it was a real demonstration that Greymouth does not accept
any sort of hateful acts.
There's lots of letters and cards and things here,
but one of my all-time favourite ones is this,
which arrived after Gloria got vandalised.
It says, 'Love from me, Piata.
'We're going to send you a letter that says "love you and we're sorry
'"that someone did that to you." Love from Piata, four years old.'
My advice to young queer people who are trying to find people
who are just like them is don't give up.
There's definitely someone, something out there,
that shares those parts of your brain, too,
that you can see yourself in.
You just have to keep looking.
- Do you want to be adopted? - I want to be adopted.
- I wanna be adopted. - Well, you're gonna have to pass the test.
Who is your favourite queer icon?
- RuPaul. - RuPaul?
A fracking king. We love it, okay.
Down with the environment.
- All right. - Would you like to be in our family?
Thank you.
I have a mum and dad! Woo!
On the next episode of Queer Academy.
Do you think people can tell that you're queer by the way you dress?
I'm not sure.
I'm not walking around with like 15 carabiners on.
You know?