How's it going?
Eh, you know, it's okay.
What do you got in your mouth?
I had Combos.
It's the pretzels with the cheddar cheese in 'em.
This isn't even an ad. No.
You know the cheese in Combos,
and I should probably research this before I say anything.
Yeah.
Do you think, is that cheese that's in a Combo?
I don't think so. No.
Its Play-Doh.
Okay, well listen, But it's so good.
I wanna make sure that legally we're in the clear,
but I just want to get it out there
I don't know what's in a Combo,
but I'd like some proof that it was a cheese at some point.
I know you want one.
Well, I just want to read what's in it.
This is a Combo, you all know what a Combo is,
ladies and gentlemen, it's a pretzel,
it looks like a vertebrae.
And then in the center is a little tub of,
and then in the center is a cheese like substance.
They could put peanut butter in it.
Anyway, I'm Matt Gourley, I'm the producer.
(Sona laughing)
Well, Gourley, in the natural order of things.
Yeah. It's Sona,
what's inside a Combo, and then you introduce Matt Gourley.
Oh, okay.
That's the natural order of things.
I see, okay.
This is important.
Inside is, let's see, hydrolyzed wheat gluten,
natural flavor, coloring, yellow five lake,
yellow six lake,
blue one lake.
Those are kinds of dyes.
Lake?
Yeah, L-A-K-E.
Lactic acid, citric acid, lactal sodium caseinates.
So yeah, that's cheese.
(Combo crunching)
Mm, that tastes like cheese. Yeah.
This is an award-winning podcast.
Is it?
Is it though?
We did that?
It is, technically.
I didn't say it was merited.
That's a Combo, and you know what?
It's not bad.
We are not getting any money from.
No.
The makers of Combo, I don't even know who they are.
Stop crinkling the package, we're trying to.
I'm trying to figure out who makes Combos,
and they might be their own thing.
That's very cool.
Oh, you think it's just a factory
somewhere that says Combo?
(Matt snorting) Yes. (laughing)
No, they've gotta be owned by some massive concern.
It doesn't say anything.
Today's guest is a frequent--
Hold on a second.
I freaking love Combos. Yeah, hold on a second,
why are we making this all about Combos?
I don't know.
This is how random things are
just because you came in here munching on Combos.
Yeah. We're talking about Combos.
This is all scripted.
Yeah, this is. (Sona laughing)
You can tell.
It's just, people listening are like "This is too funny."
(Sona laughing)
No, it's not funny at all.
It's awful.
This is, what an awful opening.
You're going to have another Combo, I know that.
No, no, no, no, I'm looking at it.
I'm trying to see, you're right,
it doesn't say Nestle on it.
No, it doesn't.
Oh my God, oh my God.
It doesn't say, yeah.
Freewheeling Combos.
Oh God, please.
By themselves, they're autonomous.
Shoot me.
It's by the makers of Chevrolet.
Jesus. (giggling)
I used to eat these a lot when I would get high.
These might be too awful an opening,
I think this opening sucks,
let's do another one.
Are you being serious? Sure.
Why, I think the bad ones are also still fun.
Nah.
I also, I think you're underestimating
the popularity of Combos.
I think people are gonna to really love this.
Matt?
I think you're overestimating
the other segments we do on this show
that you might compare this to.
(Sona laughing)
Okay, well, I maintain this feels terrible to me.
Okay.
Now look, I like Combos,
I have nothing against Combos,
but all we've done is talk about Combos,
and now I feel like I'm in almost a whirlpool
where I keep saying Combo. (giggling)
Yeah. (laughing)
I can't stop talking about it,
because you've introduced it.
Listen, I didn't mean to deride that snack,
and question whether it's real cheese on the inside.
I think that was rash on my part.
Yes.
But I'm certain that's not cheese.
(Everyone laughing)
Well at least we got to the bottom of something,
that's worth something.
Is everything you eat real?
Oh, come on. Come on.
No, it's not.
Well, Sona, I do hope you're eating healthy
now that you're a mom.
Ugh. (Matt laughing)
You're still, you're breastfeeding,
that's not too personal is it?
It's not, I pumped before we started recording.
Right, so whatever you eat goes to the twins.
It does.
So if you're eating a Combo,
and it's filled with lactin giathylate
number five, dye number seven,
that's going to your twins, Mikey and Charlie.
Yeah it is. Wow.
And then you wonder why do they glow at night?
(Sona laughing)
(Matt laughing)
Why are they so easy to see in the fog?
I mean is everything that I'm going to eat
going to be healthy?
It's got to be, yes.
Come on.
You are feeding these lovely little twins.
Yeah.
They're six months old, and you're creating,
you're providing the building blocks.
I know, but I can't eat,
I love them, but I can't eat healthy for them.
(Matt groaning) You eat pretty healthy.
I need a snack every once in a while.
Right, everyone does, that's not the problem,
but most of the time, aren't you eating healthy stuff?
I am actually, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I'm doing okay.
What's the worst thing you were going to eat today
besides the Combos?
McDonald's.
Oh! Oh.
Oh my Lord. Wow.
Really?
Every once in a while, I need it.
Do you get the shakes?
Again, that would happen when I would get high
back in the day,
either McDonald's or Taco Bell,
and it would be like two in the morning.
I'd be like, "I gotta get a burger."
Do you remember before the live shows, Sona,
we had time to kill, and you went
"I'm going to McDonald's, what do you want?"
Yeah.
And you just went on a McDonald's mission.
I did, I know.
Do you think Taco Bell will ever just come out
with an ad that says "Taco Bell,
"it's the best when you're high"?
Would they ever do that?
They should. They should, yeah.
They should, right? Yeah.
It is.
Once I went to Taco Bell and I was like,
I want 50 tacos, and they didn't even,
they were just like, "Okay, do you need hot sauce?"
I don't know if I've mentioned,
I feel like I have, but I just.
I don't think so.
I've never heard this before.
So yeah, my friends and I, we were high,
we went to the Taco Bell, and we're like
"Could we have 50 tacos?"
And we were like, "Oh my God, it's going to take
"hours for them to make it."
They did not at all react,
they were like, "Sure, no problem,
"what kind of hot sauce do you want?"
And we're like this hot sauce, whatever.
And then we got to the window and they handed us
a carton made for high people,
that had 50 tacos in it.
Oh, that's heaven.
Right, so at some corporate level
they've accepted that a huge number
of the people going to Taco Bell are high.
Yeah.
And that they will cater to them,
they just can't say it in their advertisement.
Yeah, it's like those shower massagers
that are clearly not for anything other
than really massaging, you know what I'm saying? (clicking)
No, I don't know what you're saying.
What? What are you talking about?
Come on, you know what I'm talking.
No idea.
What have you used your shower massage for?
I don't have one, I'm just saying
they're sold in like a CVS
with the kind of like bulbous end.
And it's like, "Oh yeah, relax your muscles in the shower."
But what we really know is going on there is.
What are you talking about, Gourley?
I have no idea what you're talking about, Matt,
no idea.
You know what, Gourley,
you probably look at everything like that.
You're like, "Oh, we all know what
those traffic cones are really for."
Well, come on,
look at the microphones we're talking into,
we know what's really going on here.
(Sona laughing)
You look at everything that way.
Oh, look at that weather stripping, ho-ho, boy."
Oh, don't get me started.
Ooh, I could have a good time with that.
I gotta, I don't want a tube in you.
(Sona laughing)
I'm going to say that a iconic actress
I was once having a party at my home,
an iconic actress was there.
I cannot say the name,
but an iconic superstar actress was there,
and she asked for a quick tour of the house,
and I was showing her the house.
And then I showed her my wife's closet,
and there was a bunch of shoes on like a rack,
and she went "Oh, with these shoes,
"oh I bet you and your wife have a pretty good time
"with these high heels."
Oh my God. (Matt laughing)
To this day I don't know what she's talking about.
(Sona laughing)
Oh my God.
I do, I do. I don't know,
does she mean I'm wearing them,
and she's wearing, or am I taking the heel of a shoe
and shoving it into my?
No, stop. What am I doing?
Don't even finish what you were about to say.
Well I don't know what she meant.
She meant she wears them, and then
she's like sexy time for you.
No, she meant the two of us doing something with the shoes
and it meant both of us.
Oh.
And I cannot name the actress, I just can't.
Can you mouth it so we can know?
You will after, I know.
No, cause then you're going to say,
"Oh, he just mouthed Sally Fields," and we all know.
Is that who it was?
No, it was not.
But I did, I sure had you going there for a second.
It was not,
but everything I've told you is true.
Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Well that actress has had a heel
shoved up her vagina, for sure.
Don't say that. For starters.
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys were being subtle.
I'm saying it as it is.
Is that what you meant?
I don't mean anything, Gourley's the one
that can look at anything
and immediately see an erotic adventure.
By the way, can I see one of those Combos?
I'm getting turned on.
Yeah, yeah.
Gourley sees a Combo and he's like, "Oh yeah."
Hello.
"They say it's a pretzel snack with cheese in it,
"but we all know what it's really for."
I know. (laughing) "Later."
I run a section of the dark web
that gives the real purposes for everyday things.
Yeah, I hear moaning from Gourley's office.
I kick the door down, he's in there
with Combos all over his nipples.
(Sona laughing)
(Matt laughing)
(moaning) "It's not even real cheese."
The wrap sign came up right as you said that.
Yeah.
Oh, he wants to wrap it up.
All right guys, guys, guys,
we have a lot of show today, a lot of show.
Ah.
So let's just stick with that mental image
of Gourley having explosive orgasms, covered.
Oh come on, you're kidding me.
In pretzel Combos.
That's just, you've gone too far.
Or, not far enough.
Ew.