-Welcome back, guys. It is time for "Bad Signs."
Here we go.
-♪ We lucky we got 'em ♪
♪♪
♪ Bad si-i-i-gns ♪
-Alright, here we go. Very nice.
These are -- These are pictures of funny or weird signs
that you guys saw and sent in to us.
They are all real.
This first one was sent in
by Samantha English in Canton, Ohio.
She was using a restaurant bathroom and spotted this.
"Employees must 'wash hands.'"
-Oh. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -Hey, man.
-"Yeah, I 'washed my hands.' Look."
-Yeah. -"And I 'flushed the toilet.'"
[ Laughter ]
-This next one was sent in... [ Laughs ]
...sent in by Jeff Dutton in Los Angeles, California.
-Ooh.
-He was looking for something to eat, and he saw this.
"Soup of the Day: Beef Barely Soup."
Well, there you go. [ Laughter ]
If you're on a strict -- it's barely soup.
-Yeah. -It's more of a sandwich.
-Yeah. A runny sandwich. [ Laughter ]
-"It's a pre-dipped French dip."
[ Laughter ]
-With no beef. -With no beef or bread.
Now, this next one is from Angie Cyphers
in Flat Rock, Michigan.
She saw an Arby's sign. I love Arby's.
Let's see what it said here.
It said, "Now hiring anybody."
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] Wow.
-Wow. -Anybody.
-[ Laughs ] -Come on in!
-"The body's still warm." -Yeah.
-"Do you want to be the fry machine,
or do you want to work this?"
"Sure, I'll do fries."
-The next one's from Marsha Lee Sparhawk
in Rigby, Idaho.
She spotted this while driving.
"Speed limit -- 5.37 miles per hour."
[ Laughter ]
"Sorry, Officer, I was going 5.39.
My wife's in labor. She's having a baby.
So I was speeding a little bit." [ Laughter ]
This next one is from Farel Rooska
in San Marcos, California.
She was shopping for some wine in Trader Joe's,
and they were all out of Chardonnay.
-Ohh. -Yeah.
But they did have "Chadonnay." [ Laughter ]
-Chadonnay, yeah. -Oh, dude.
-What's food -- If you want,
just grab a good Chad and have...
-Yeah, man. -Love Chad. Love a Chad.
-Yeah. -Ruby red.
-Chad and chow, man. -Yeah.
-This next one's from Beth Monte in Snow Hill, Maryland.
She was shopping in a bakery and saw this.
[ Chuckles ]
"Please use tongues to pick pastries up. Thanks."
[ Audience ewws ] [ Laughter ]
"Well, I 'washed my hands.'" -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-"Got a little bit." -"No, I don't want that one."
-Yeah. "Maybe this one."
-"Buddy, I don't -- I don't like all that."
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
"That -- Oh, that's too expensive.
That's $3,000."
[ Laughter ]
The next one's from Dave Riggins in Hillside, New Jersey.
He was getting kind of hungry, so he stopped by a local market.
Let's see what they had here.
"Lynda's Market: Lunch special.
We have worms."
Oh, there you go. [ Audience ohs ]
-"Oh!" -"Oh!"
"Hey, baby." -That sounds delicious,
but I'll stick to my beef barely soup.
[ Laughter ]
Well, this next one here
is from Jacob Brelsford in Telluride, Colorado.
He was out for a walk and saw this.
"Please do not sit on fence."
Well, you know, hey, go for it. [ Laughter ]
Go for it. Never mind. Just sit --
"Dad, you want to sit on this fence with me?
And we'll talk about life and stuff."
"Yeah. All right, you go first."
[ Groans ] [ Laughter ]
Here's one from Whitney Wilding in Clinton, New Jersey.
She was shopping for some plastic bins.
Let's see what she found.
Oh, "NObreak" is the name of the brand.
It's -- It's interesting 'cause they're all broken.
[ Laughter ]
Maybe they're ironic. -Yeah.
-It's the ir-- -NObreak, yeah.
-"NObreak."
And finally, this last sign
is from Tim Kubinak in Suffolk, Virginia.
He was in the grocery store and spotted a new product
for Thomas' English Muffins... -Oh.
-...from Thomas' English Muffins.
But look -- look at where they put the coupon.
Look at this. -Ah!
-"Pick Me -- Pick Me Ups." [ Laughter ]
"Pick -- Pick Me Ups."
[ Laughter and applause ] "Pick Me Up."
That's all the time we have for "Bad Signs."
If you see a funny sign,
e-mail it to us at BadSigns@TonightShow.com,
and we might put it on the show.