Hi Guys. Welcome back to my channel i'm having a really poopy day. I'm literally at the brink
of crying. I don't know if you guys have had those days before where everything annoys you,
everything upsets you and you just like pity yourself. Unfortunately I'm having one of
those days and today is my filming day and i kept thinking about it and i was like okay
i have to get myself out of this mood, I have to like put a happy face on and film something
and then i was like no, like this is the part of reality that everyone filters out. This is
the part on instagram and on photos that you guys don't see like people having bad days i'm in this
rut and i just feel like, i feel like an imposter i just don't-- i feel ugly and they feel like not
good enough and i just feel like i don't know like everything is just like crashing down even though
that's really not reality. Like, everything is fine but we're human and we feel that way. And
recently at work i've just been feeling like i don't know like when i get projects and stuff i
just feel like i'm not competent enough. Like i'm not doing the best and i'm like not excelling at
work and that brings me down. That makes my worth like just i just feel unworthy like i just feel
like i don't know like i don't have the proper skills and then with like social media
i just feel like i feel drained with social media i'll be honest like i just feel like
it's a constant chase like i have to like share this and i have to do that and i don't know
how many of you guys can relate to this but just in general like the corporate life rut,
feeling the pressure of having a social life and having a social media presence and
i just i don't know i'm just like nothing is like fulfilling me like i just don't feel fulfilled
i feel so uninspired unmotivated and i just feel like this repetitive routine
is just not giving me the life that i want to live like it's i don't know how to explain it but i'm
sure a lot of you guys can relate like whether you're a mom or you're a working professional
or you're a content creator there comes a point in your life where you kind of step
back and you have to like think like what are we doing everything for like what's the point
i don't know i just i've been feeling like that a lot lately
and i've honestly just been brushing it off and telling myself like you can do it
and this and that but some days like today my thoughts get the best of me and i just feel so
sad i don't know if you guys can relate to any of this but i just feel like when we attach our worth
or every part of us to something else whether that's like your business or your job or like
your family then you start losing a part of yourself if that makes any sense like as moms
like if you are constantly chasing after your kids and you're just like drained because you're giving
all of yourself to that person or you attach like your title as a mom to like your entire being
then like it drains you like you just kind of step back and you're like wait a second like is that my
entire purpose is that my entire identity and i feel that way with like my job professionally
and then like as a content creator i almost feel like an imposter like i don't know how to
describe it and i was talking to my friend about it and i hate that feeling like on instagram i'll
post like these pictures and i'll get all my stories and i'll do my makeup and in real life
like some days i'm just like i hate the way i look like i hate the way my makeup turned out like
i feel like i don't deserve like these people following me and like looking up to me for like
makeup or something because i hate the way my eyeliner turned out or like at work i just feel
like i don't deserve this job because i'm not as smart as other people and i don't know it's
just i don't know it's making me really sad and unmotivated don't get me wrong i'm not complaining
about my life and being ungrateful i'm just like i'm in a mindset that i just can't get out of like
i don't know i don't know how to explain it
but i don't have anything to share and i don't have any exciting content this week and yeah i
just thought maybe i'll just be real with you guys in this video i show so many good parts of my life
with you guys on the internet like my room being redone and um like my day in the life at work or
like packing my lunch but there's so much more to me behind all that like my diet for example
has been stressing me out i've been on this diet for like six months really trying to heal my gut
and i'm just at like i'm at the end of it all like i just don't want to do it anymore i'm
feeling so discouraged i feel so sad that i have to like control and portion everything out like
and i never share that like but what am i gonna say like i'm gonna come online and
tell everyone like i'm sad about my diet like it's just something that i have to do
and like everything is just taking a toll now like that's just one thing i'm so grateful to
have a job especially in this economy where people like are struggling to find jobs but like i'm so
unsatisfied like i do the same thing all the time it doesn't give me a sense of purpose i don't feel
like i'm learning it's not challenging so i'm like i go to work and i'm just not happy to be there
and then with social media like i love what i do and it's so fun but it's also so draining like
people look up to influencers and they're like oh my god i wish i had their life like they're
making easy money do you know how much mental like strength it takes to put on a face every
single day like right now like i'm human i have bad days i don't feel like filming
i don't know i just wanted to just let that all out and just be honest with you guys i
don't want y'all's pity i'm totally fine i'm not depressed i'm just sad i'm having a sad day and
i've just been feeling overwhelmed and it's this is the reality behind everything i show you guys
behind the pretty room behind all the pretty pictures and behind like my room being done
and all that there's still a part of me which is human and i'm just it's just not the happiest
okay i'm done cleaning my makeup i have to go on my laundry and then i
am stopping at a furniture store to look at some new furniture and i'm thinking about like
getting a little couch to put in that corner or like a little nook area so i'll take you guys
there so yeah it's just gonna be a chill vlog i need to clean my room too
i'm going to quickly pray and then we need to clean my room
now it's laundry time my glamorous day just reality somebody got to do the chores right
who's gonna do it for me i am so i need to fold all my laundry and put it away that's my load
i talk about the sweater all the time it's from amazon it's the best quality
ever and i literally just throw it in the wash and it comes out perfectly fine
so
i just got done cleaning everything i'm gonna drink some water i haven't drink enough water
all day this is also something i do when like not focused i just don't drink enough water
which is bad but anyways i hope you guys enjoyed today's vlog i'm so sorry it was a debbie downer
but it's just i don't know it's real life so i hope you guys enjoyed that i'm gonna
drink my water shower and go back so i'll see you guys in my next one bye