Guns--
the perfect way to win every argument, permanently.
President Biden has been trying to push gun reform ever since
his friend from college was shot to death by Aaron Burr.
And today, he took another step to solve it.
NEWSMAN: President Joe Biden this morning announcing his plan
to go around Congress on the issue of gun control,
this following several recent mass shootings.
President Biden outlined a series of executive actions
on gun violence today.
The president's executive orders direct the Justice Department
to regulate a gun accessory known as a stabilizing brace,
which can be used to allow a pistol
to operate similarly to a rifle.
The DOJ will also be tasked with publishing a template
for red flag legislation to be adopted by the states.
The EOs also directs the Justice Department
to a ruling on so-called ghost guns, untraceable weapons
that can be made at home from parts purchased on the Internet.
The president said he wants those gun kits
to be treated as firearms.
That's right.
Biden wants to regulate ghost guns,
which are guns that come in kits and you can assemble yourself,
Although, if you ask me,
that should be the only type of gun
that you can buy in America.
I mean, because that way, people will be forced to breathe
before they can act.
What you say?!
Man, I'm-a shoot you dead. I'm-a shoot you...
Man, let me just... Once I build it this, I'm-a...
Yo, man, I'm-a build this real quick and you gonna...
W-Wait, wait, hold on, hold one. They got two of these?
They need... I need one more of the oth...
Hey, man, you-you got a... you got a C-8?
Yeah, there's supposed to be two C-8s.
I only got one over here, man. I can't build this without...
Man, how about we just talk about this,
'cause I can't build this gun right now.
And, now, look, don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong--
I think it's great that Biden is taking these steps,
but you got to admit it's kind of sad to see
what few reforms are available when Congress refuses to act.
I mean, regulating stabilizing braces?
Those are just attachments for making guns more accurate.
Basically, America's saying it can't stop mass shooters,
but what if they had slightly worse aim?
But let's move on to some exciting news
from the world of science, where we've discovered that
everything we thought we knew about everything
might actually be wrong.
NEWSWOMAN: Scientists in Illinois say that they believe
they may have discovered a subatomic particle
that does not obey the known laws of physics.
It's called a muon, and it's essentially described
as a type of heavy electron.
Some research believe that this discovery could open up
an entire new world of physics and give us
a greater understanding of how the universe operates.
I knew it.
Democrats have barely been in power for three months,
and now even particles aren't obeying the law.
But, yes, this is actually potentially huge news.
You see, after slamming a bunch of particles together,
scientists now think that there may be
some entirely new mystery force controlling the universe.
Which is massive, because until now
there were only four fundamental forces of nature
that we know about: gravity, electromagnetism,
love and Godzilla.
And this discovery is another reminder that we never know
as much about the universe as we think we do.
I mean, when you think about it,
we're really not that different from people
back in the Middle Ages.
So that settles it:
the Sun revolves around the Earth.
It rains when God is sad.
And if a woman makes eye contact with you, she's a witch.
Feels good to know everything, right, Cathy?
Aha! You witch, you looked at me.
I told you she was.
Honestly, the fact that even the world's top scientists
don't know what the hell is going on
actually makes me feel kinda good
about not paying attention in physics class.
I mean, the laws of physics that I was supposed to learn
may not have even been true. (short chuckle)
So I guess we both failed,
huh, Mr. Stevenson?