My name is Semaj.
I served in the Army, and I was in Vietnam.
I remember it like yesterday.
I was-- we were walking on this trail, the Sergeant was
in back of me.
And I stopped because the radio strap was
cutting into my chest.
So I said, well let me just stop to adjust this.
So you can't-- the line can't stop, it keeps moving.
So they passed around me, they kept moving.
There was a large explosion.
And he stepped on an anti-personnel mine.
Which to date--
I was never really a religious person.
But at that moment, I knew that there had to be a higher
force working.
Because if I hadn't stopped to adjust the strap, I would have
stepped on the mine.
I got home, ironically, around, this is crazy, on the
4th of July.
Which is not the best time to come home because you have
firecrackers and stuff going on.
It took me about a month or so.
I stayed in the house a lot during that time.
A lot of self-medication vis-a-vis marijuana.
For the guys my age, that was the drug of choice.
I had a difficult time, I had a very
difficult time adjusting.
And then, I have to report back, because I still had a
year of military time to complete.
The transition for me from there to coming home, and then
into being back, assigned to Brooklyn.
The drug thing was still prevalent.
The marijuana stuff was still prevalent.
That was still there, my source of coping.
I was 22 when I got married, and my wife was 20.
And we were clear after the divorce, we stayed together
for three years.
We weren't really connecting.
Wife number two, again, it seemed like all these
relationships weaved in and out of drugs, and getting
high, and what have you.
And she got pregnant, we lost the baby, so
that was very traumatic.
Then we had another child who survived.
For me, having a baby was a sobering event.
I mean it was real, it was real.
This is not something making up now, this is real.
I had a very close friend of mine, who I grew up with, and
interestingly enough, he became a Veteran's rep.
He said, you need to look about maybe going to school,
going back to school, see if you could get
some kind of skills.
But more so, you need to look at talking to somebody,
talking to somebody in the VA.
Basically they said, well you're definitely dealing with
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
They said, you need to start coming in and meeting with a
therapist, psychologist, and start getting some help, some
counseling, some coaching, some support.
I would get to what they call a breakthrough, and I would
pull away, and then stop going.
And then something would happen and I'd go back.
I started doing groups.
I started doing one-on-one counseling.
I'm having a pretty good time.
I'm saying, OK, I'm making another turn now.
On top of that, I got introduced to this woman,
wonderful woman, whom I'm still married to.
She was very, very, very, instrumental in supporting me.
And I got into a couple of groups.
And then after going around the block a few times, got
re-integrated back into the VA and started going to them on a
regular basis.
You can't do it by yourself.
You can't live in a cave.
And I tried that, I really did.
I tried to be a loner.
And just like, the world is out there and I'm in
here, and I'm cool.
And that was their self-medication.
That's not going to do it.
Because then you end up you go through your whole life and
you look back and you say, damn, where did 40 years go?
Where did 50 years go?
And now what do I have to show for my life?
I think those Veterans, those Vietnam Veterans could be very
helpful to our present young men and women.
They need to find a place, a space, where they can find
some release, and move forward in their lives.