[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
Greetings, Researchers of the future.
For tracking purposes, it is the 78th day of my involuntary expedition to the Silas University Library.
Efforts to breach the University’s outgoing firewall continue to be futile, as the encryption
algorithm evolves faster than I can analyze it- whatever the Dean’s got wired into the system, it is next level.
Meanwhile, on the forcibly extract the malevolent alien entity possessing my best friend front-
Progress has been made in the acquisition of the Book of Lives, which may well be the
first component of a four-fold supernatural containment device.
I’d like to be able to report more, but due to recent personal developments, my colleagues
are... less research-focused than I could hope for.
Exhibit A:
Hey. Can you read me back that footnote on-
Personal boundaries?
There were cobwebs.
As if Laura hasn’t spent the last two months obsessively cleaning every square inch of this place.
Still unconvinced?
Exhibit B awaits:
[Splashing, waves and generally watery noises]
Oh.
Sorry. You can- After you.
Go ahead.
No, no. It’s fine. I can get all soapy and naked some other time-
Not- not soapy and naked!
I bathe soapless and with my clothes on!
Ahhhh!
Still on the fence?
Let’s proceed to Exhibit C:
The way I see it, we’ve got three major avenues of inquiry: 1) What are the other three talismans?
2) What exactly is the Dean and how is she possessing Perry?
And 3) What does she hope to accomplish by opening up the Gates of Hell?
You know what. Gimme the glasses.
[Glass crunching]
Seriously?!
Hey. Working so hard, I thought you might want some cocoa.
Oh. Did we get it on the book?
Ughhh! That’s it!
How in Scully’s name are we supposed to find the other talismans and save Perry when
you two idiots ruin everything with your insipid relationship drama?!
Figure it out!
Sheesh.
They do sort of have a point.
Clearly there are feelings.
That we have.
For each other.
It’s just things are also complicated, with the past, and us being really different people.
So maybe it’s better if we just acknowledge that there are feelings, but that it would
never work out, and clearly it’s getting in the way so maybe it's best if we just tried to be...
Friends.
Friends?
Seems healthier than the whole doomed relationship thing.
Well.
I guess as long as I don’t have to braid your hair and talk about girls, then you can call me whatever you want.
Young Frankenstein will be pleased...
Wait. Didn’t I leave Mattie’s locket...
[bleeping]
Darlings. I thought I’d check in and make sure you got my message.
You mean your impromptu journalistic roast?
Hmm yeah you completely convinced us that we’d be safe in your clutches.
That was hardly the point dear. You’re usually so quick on the uptake.
Oh, yeah sorry.
I guess we were a little distracted with your complete failure to break in here and make good on your threats.
Tell me, does it smart being outwitted by a pile of brick and mortar?
Are you so sure that’s what happened?
Is it just me or is it getting kinda cold in here?
Wily as our bookish friend is, there’s only so much of space and time to hide in.
And doing something momentous- say, opening an ancient book full of powerful prophecies?
Why, that might just be like shooting up a flare.
You’re bluffing.
If that were true you’d be here already.
Maybe it’s entertaining to think of you and your little powderpuff grappling with real prophecy.
What would you do, if you found your doom waiting in those pages?
What would you do if you found hers?
But perhaps you’re right. Perhaps I’m only bluffing.
Maybe even if did find you, the enchantments keeping me out of the Library might be too strong.
What could I possibly do about that?
You look positively chilled little one.
Has someone left a door open somewhere?
[Offscreen] Hey we need to borrow a book.