-Look, clearly what I've been doing is not shutting you up.
So what's gonna take your mind off Emily?
Whatever that is, that's what we're doing today.
-Really? Like my own special day?
Like a Shreds Day?
-More like, a long lunch, but, sure.
-Whatever I want? You promise not to judge me?
-Oh, absolutely not.
Would you ask Michelangelo not to sculpt?
-I thought he was more of a nunchuck guy.
-Not the Ninja Turtle. -I know.
-Welcome back to "Late Night." Here with Joel McHale!
-Michael Rowland. [ Cheers and applause ]
That was a clip from "Animal Control."
-Yes. -Before we get to the show,
you did a little real-life animal control.
You took your family to Ireland. -Yes.
And the Irish are animals. [ Laughter ]
I'm half Irish, so I can say that.
-Now, what is -- This is a photo of --
What -- You had came across sort of a mud pit?
-Yeah. You know, you go to Ireland,
see all the mud pits. [ Laughter ]
Uh, there -- we were in this, I don't know, fjord-like place,
and my -- my kids were like, "We're bored!"
and, uh, they're bored, "And your acting's bad!"
And then my sister-in-law challenged her son
to go touch a lamb,
'cause they're all over the place,
and he was like, "I touched one."
You're like, "What?" Because they scatter.
And he was like, "There's two of them trapped in a mud bog."
And I was like, "Wow, what a day we're having."
And, uh, so I saw them, and I was like,
this is an opportunity for social media.
And I -- I pulled those lambs out.
-Wow. -Yeah, I pulled them out.
[ Cheers and applause ] And then, um...
I slow-roasted them for six hours, and it was...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Oh, it was... -Worth it?
-It was so good. It was --
Irish lamb is... There's people right now...
-Now, this is something you found in your --
in your home region, the Pacific Northwest.
-Yes. -This is called a geoduck?
-Yeah. That's a geoduck.
So that's -- that's why you know that God is real.
Uh, 'cause he was drunk and was like,
"I'm gonna make a clam penis, and..."
[ Laughter ]
"...and make it look kind of like a hot dog."
But that is -- this is where it breathes and spits,
and it is --
And only in the northwest would we eat it all the time.
And it is a delicacy, and, no -- Yeah. So that is a geoduck.
-And is it -- can you -- have you had them?
Are they actually good? -Oh, yeah.
I slap it in my face, and, uh, that's how you eat them.
You just slap them around. [ Laughter ]
Sorry.
My mom is gonna watch this and go,
"It was fine until you got dirty."
And, uh... [ Laughter ]
Yeah, that's a delicacy. It's really --
It actually is quite good. That's on Vashon Island,
where my wife grew up, so... -All right.
-Yeah. Just [bleep] everywhere.
-There you go. [ Laughter ]
-Have you ever had geoduck?
-Uh, no, I've never had a geoduck.
I don't think I'd want one.
-Is that a challenge? -Uh...
How do you -- How are you gonna get me to eat it?
-I don't know. -All right. Uh...
-You -- "Animal Control," a lot of people will say,
you know, "Don't work with animals.
Don't work with kids."
You have obviously skipped that lesson.
-Yeah. -How have -- How have your
co-star animals been?
-They're pretty -- They've been goo--
We've had a lot of cool --
We had lemurs and bobcats and all these cool --
But we worked with a sloth. I've never been really scared
except for the sloth. -Which is interesting,
because a lot of people would be the least scared of a sloth.
-Right. And when the trainer -- He was like,
"A lot of people think sloths are slow and friendly,"
and he was like, "This one is neither."
And I'm like, "I'm so glad we have this one."
And it was this big.
It was as big as a golden retriever.
And, uh -- and it was -- I was climbing on this rock wall
to try and pretend like I was saving it
because it's hanging off, doing some rock climbing.
And it did a very good job.
But its eyes are completely black,
and they look -- it's like you're looking
into the abyss of space.
Then it has fangs that, if someone took real fangs
and took a hammer, smashed them all up,
and then put them back inside of an animal, it is --
And then it smiles at you, and...
[ Laughter ]
And the trainer was --
I was like, "How close can I get?"
And he's like, "You're close enough now."
And I was like, "Have you been bit?"
And he goes, "Yeah, I have a lot of pictures of it."
And I was like, "Again, this is great,
and I'm glad that we're working with the sl--"
And then he -- he ate like bananas whole,
with the peel, which was disturb--
the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.
[ Laughter ]
Uh, and we dated for like two, three weeks.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
That's great. I think I saw that in "Us Weekly."
-We went and had geoducks in Vancouver.
[ Laughter ] It was great.
But, yeah, it's fun -- Yeah. Do you like animals?
-Eh. -So, if like --
Do you have the trainers on to...?
-We had the trainer, and it actually was a sloth.
I had a moment, but the last animal we had on was --
true story -- I'm not just saying this --
a sloth.
I made eye contact with the sloth,
and I had this real sense --
"He doesn't want to be here." -Right.
-You know, he's -- Like, I know that, like,
the trainers are like, "This is cool.
We're teaching people about sloths."
I think the sloth was like, "I'm good with nobody here
knowing anything about me." -Okay.
-I enjoy my anonymity in that world.
-And the fingernails on it. -Yeah.
Bad-looking fingernails.
-They're this big, and they make a tapping noise
like they have live beetles.
-That's how I knew he wasn't having fun
is he did this the whole time. [ Laughter ]
Was like, "Is this almost over?"
-He's like, "This guy didn't wear a sport coat,
so I'm not." [ Laughter ]
-You, um -- Season one of, uh,
the show that really -- And season two
was also excellent. You had a cameo on "The Bear."
-Yes. Yeah. -And I was very excited
when I saw it. I remember I wrote you right away.
You sort of played a real bad -- bad chef.
-You mean the hero?
-Okay, so you -- [ Laughter ]
So you believe you are the hero.
You were Carm's former employer.
-I've never seen this show, so I don't --
No. It's -- Yeah. It's freaking everywh--
No, I -- Yeah, I was, um,
portraying, uh, Chef Thomas Keller.
Uh -- [ Laughs ] He's gonna be so happy
I'm saying these things. [ Laughter ]
And poison me if I ever meet him.
Uh, but, uh, yeah.
And I don't think he's as awful as I was,
but he does whisper at his employees.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
-That's -- -You ever go behind, like --
walk up to Elon and go, like, "You call this keyboarding?
You call -- What is this?"
-Oh, you mean do I whisper during the show?
-Yeah. -Yeah, no, I just text him.
-Oh. -Yeah.
Like, "You [bleep] it up again."
[ Laughter ]
"That's one of my favorite son--"
Yeah, no, it's -- The guy who --
And Chris Storer, who wrote that show,
is the boyfriend of Gillian Jacobs,
who was Britta on "Community."
-Oh, yes, of course, on "Community."
-And he asked if I would come in
and get hair transplants for the show.
And I was like, "Absolutely." And wear these same glasses.
So, uh, yeah, it was really fun.
And I found it really interesting that he --
"The Bear" won Best Comedy, and "Succession" won Best Drama.
-Yeah. -And I was like,
"I feel like..." -It's true.
They're both wonderful shows.
And, uh, it is weird how -- I do feel like one's
just half an hour and one's an hour, right?
-Yeah. And then poor "Abbott Elementary"
is in the middle, and they're like,
"What the [bleep]" [ Laughter ]
"We're right here." And so, yeah, it was --
Yeah, it's really fun.
-It's always such a delight to have you here, buddy.
Thank you so much for making the time.
-I'm not leaving. This is still going.
We'll be right back with Joel McHale.
-Okay. "Animal Control." -Thank you for having me, guys!
-Fox, March 6th!
Be right back with more "Late Night."