There are a couple things you need when
you're planning an elaborate heist on a
techsavvy billionaire's super seccure
compound. A, a really good reason. And
B,
rules. Rule number one, no one gets
hurt. Rule number two, no superpowers. I
figured that wasn't too much to ask.
Those are not children's play things. I
figured wrong. Uh, yeah, I know. Okay,
relax. They're just for show. They're
not even loaded.
For those keeping score at home, between
the TV, the bathroom door, and the
refrigerator, there goes the last of our
security deposit. Did you just shoot
each other in the face?
Yeah. Dagger. Oh, you're you're
bleeding.
Oh,
yes. But it hurts.
[Music]
Really? Heat.
[Music]
We don't have to do this. Allow me to
storm the building and I will dangle
your enemy from the roof until he admits
what he's done. He's done nothing
criminal. I'm the one who stole the
suit. Run in there like that and you
will go from hero to villain in no time.
But I appreciate the offer.
He will keep coming after you until he's
recovered the suit. That's why I have
you. Um, guys, you guys protect
me. You're going to have a pretty cool
scar to show your dad when you see him
next. A nick like this will not impress
him. The man is entirely scar tissue
from the neck down. He rides you pretty
hard, huh? I let him down.
By not fulfilling the stupid quest he
sent you on
by
surviving. I'm the runt of his
litter. 11 strong sons and then
me. I was supposed to
die and I have been letting him down
ever since.
I'm sorry.
I know it probably doesn't mean
anything,
but I think you're pretty
great. You know, with the whole saving
of the lives and helping people and
everything. Uh, you're going to need to
change that every couple hours.
Okay.
Right. I just don't know why she has to
make such a big deal out of everything
all the time. It's annoying. You killed
the fridge. Oh, okay. Here's the thing.
Sometimes when she's in the frey with
us, I take a moment and I watch her. I
admire what she does. You know, we were
all born into this and she just up and
decides to throw herself into harm's way
with only that hunk of metal to protect
her. But the moment she takes it off,
she's human again. Exactly. I just don't
think she understands what it's like to
have all this power and responsibility
24/7. You know, it's really stressful.
And I we never have fun.
Hold on. Did you suggest that we pull
off this heist because you thought it
would be fun? I mean, Alex, every cape
we meet is crushed by the weight of the
gig. Well, except Captain Southpaw. We
have to protect our friends, our
families, uh, maintain a secret
identity, deal with the press, and the
police. And what do the bad guys have to
do? They have to come up with a wacky
name and blow something up. And you know
what else they have in common?
Insanity. They smile, Luke. Those
bastards are having
fun. What year is this?
Oh my god. Are you from the
future? This could get me on the front
page of Reddit. No, I'm just messing
with you. Just messing with you. I just
need a map of the city. I'm new here.
Not cool, dude.
Thank
you. What happened here? Seriously, it's
all over the news.
Well, why don't you tell me about it
anyway? I want to know about the ones
that saved
you. Tell me about the
capes. Being bad doesn't come naturally
to us.
Well, most of
us, we've got to do our homework, and
that means starting at the beginning.
Okay.
[Music]
Question. Can we not call it a heist?
Makes it sound so criminal. What do you
suggest? Caper. Maybe make it a little
more fun. For the record, this is not
supposed to be fun, but whatever.
Um, you do realize we all have super
strength, right? New rule. No more guns.
What? Why? Because you violated rule
number one.
Oh, whatever. Guys, if we're going to
pull this off, we need to be prepared.
We can't just look the part, okay? We
have to We have to act the part. Maybe
we could watch some heist movies like
Oceans 12. Seriously, that movie? No,
that movie was awful. We'll stick with
the original then. What else? Jason
Stathithm. Staithm's an actor. He is a
genre.
Fine.
Reservoir Dogs. Everyone dies at the
end. The pink one gets away. No one dies
in Hudson Hawk. Are we not in danger of
leaving the city open to attack whilst
we watch this Hudson Hawk? We are not
watching Hudson Hawk. I created an app
that pulls together breaking news feeds,
emergency services, and Twitter all on
the back of an algorithm that Google
would kill to have. Like an app for
super dicks. The working title is called
Badcast. Okay. And if anything happens
or is even likely to happen, we will get
an alert so we can train hard, fight
easy. Any bad guy we've run across
coughs funny, we'll know about it. Very
informative. Thank you.
I'm
sorry. Can I help you? Very good of you,
but no. I have everything I
[Music]
need. You know that British guy? I don't
remember the title. James Bond played
the man in the suit with the fruit on
his head. There is only one James Bond
and that ain't him. Roger Moore. Oh my
god. Oh, found it.
Hudson knock.
Please open up.
[Music]
Relax. Worst bad guys
ever. This is going to be harder than I
thought. Heat. Heat.
[Music]