(gentle music)
- What it means is looking at the parent-infant interactions.
So, for example, a mother will come into the office.
Let's say she's had some problems
with her baby not sleeping, and she'll come in,
and she'll say, "Well, Johnny didn't sleep well again
"last night, and I don't know why.
"I tried this and this, and it doesn't seem to be working."
And she will be sitting here, and I will offer her
to have the baby on the floor, for example,
and we'll sit down and observe the baby together.
And as mother tells me the story, I'm listening to mom,
and I'm also watching the baby
and seeing what their interaction is.
I may then at some point say, "Well, you just expressed
"some concern for Johnny, and he actually looked at you."
And the mother will then stop
what she's saying, for example, and look at her baby
and say, "I never expected. How would he know this?"
And then I would step in and say, "Well, it's surprising
"how much babies can really understand.
"Maybe not the words but certainly the tone of voice
"and the love that was in your voice was something
that he picked up."
And so the mother might look again at the baby
and reconsider what she thought of her baby.
And she may then go on to say, well, she did notice
the other day that he looked at her more significantly,
and she brought a toy out, and it looked like
he tried to reach it and hadn't they had a nice moment?
And as she's recounting this story,
you can see warmth on her face looking towards Johnny,
and you can also see him wriggling and reaching his arms out
with some pleasure towards her.
I would then remark again about the warmth
and the interaction between the two of them
and comment on how important and significant this is
for making a baby feel welcome in the home
and feeling close.
And the mother then might comment on how this closeness
is something that she feels in this moment as well,
and we would comment then on how when we feel close,
mother to baby or mother, for example, to her partner.
Now, wouldn't this also make her feel good
if she'd had spent some time with her partner, for example.
They'd had a good conversation,
and she felt calm at the end of it.
And, yes, she might say she's had that experience,
that it is quite settling to speak to a good friend
or a partner and feel significantly better
at the end of a conversation.
I might then use that opportunity to say something like,
"Well, Johnny now, too, looks quite settled
"after he's had that lovely, warm moment with you.
"And see how he's playing with the toys?
"So the experience of having had a warm moment with you
"has calmed him and allowed him to learn and explore
"and grow in a way he couldn't do when he first came in."
I would then use that opportunity to also say
that as just as mom feels calm after speaking to a friend,
I suspect that Johnny also would feel calm
and probably sleep better just like she would
if he's had some of those warm moments
towards the end of his day.
So we would then construct how to allow that
to happen in the home and see what impact
that would have on Johnny's sleep problem.
And so in that way we would draw in
some of mom's interpersonal interactions
to lead those to construct a more
comfortable environment for the infant,
which I suspect will lead to a better sleep.
(gentle music)