-Thank you very much. Welcome to "The Tonight Show."
My name is Jimmy Fallon.
And that's the Roots right over there.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, guys, as I mentioned earlier,
Ruth Bader Ginsburg's passing dominated the news this weekend.
Even President Trump seemed genuinely saddened
when he heard about it.
Actually you thought we were finally seeing
a more empathetic Trump until he addressed
the open Supreme Court seat at his rally 24 hours later.
-So, I have to make a decision to fill the seat, as we say.
We should have a new campaign.
Let's make a T-shirt -- "Fill the Seat," okay?
[ Crowd chanting ]
That's a -- That's a good idea. Fill the seat.
-Wow.
Man, when you see that, it's hard to believe Trump
hasn't been asked to give the eulogy.
[ Laughter ]
Trump could be somber for about 15 seconds, then he's like,
"You think they'll have Bagel Bites at the reception?"
[ Laughter ]
What is he doing?
Why do all of his rallies --
Why do they all have chants?
He's the President, not the host of an infomercial.
Fry that chicken!
[ Laughter ]
You don't want a room of people chanting during a pandemic.
Seriously, at that point, even the coronavirus puts on his coat
and was like, "I don't want to be part of this, okay?
Good day to you."
But if you thought Trump was joking,
look at what popped up on his website over the weekend.
Yeah, the Trump campaign is now selling
"fill that seat" T-shirts.
Seriously, someone just passed away and he's leading chants
and selling T-shirts like they just clinched
the American League East.
When people said it was in bad taste,
Trump was like, "Good call.
Let's also print out some college shirts, class it up."
Here's some advice -- If you're wondering how to deal with
a job opening after someone dies and you find yourself
on a custom T-shirt website, you made a wrong turn.
[ Laughter ]
Even long-haul drivers with truck nuts were like,
"That's just crude and unnecessary."
[ Laughter ]
But it's true. Trump is hoping to fill the seat soon
and he even offered some details
on who he's thinking about filling it with.
-I will be putting forth a nominee next week.
It will be a woman.
-Trump said that like he was announcing
the gender of the next royal baby.
[ Laughter ]
"Hear ye, hear ye, it will be a woman."
[ Laughter ]
This is actually good news because usually when you hear
"Trump, judge," and "woman" in the same sentence,
it's because he's being sued again.
[ Laughter ]
And this morning on "Fox & Friends,"
Trump was asked if he knew which day he'd announce the nominee.
Watch this.
"That's right. We want to be very respectful.
I even asked Kid Rock to record an acoustic version
of 'Bawitdaba' to be played during the funeral."
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, they're trying to be respectful.
That's why for the next hour Trump's knocking 20% off
all "fill that seat" merchandise, so act now!
[ Laughter ]
Trump is being very respectful, but when asked about
Justice Ginsburg's dying wish for the next president
to choose her successor, here's what he had to say.
Well, that was an interesting way
of paying respects, wasn't it?
Over the weekend, Republican senators like
Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell, and Lindsey Graham
said they plan to move forward with a vote on Trump's nominee.
However, that contradicts what they said back in 2016
when President Obama nominated Merrick Garland
close to an election.
Listen to this.
-There is a long tradition
that you don't do this in an election year.
-The Senate will appropriately revisit the matter
when it considers the qualifications of the nominee
the next President nominates.
-I want you to use my words against me.
If there's a Republican President in 2016
and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term,
you can say Lindsey Graham said "Let's let the next president,
whoever it might be, make that nomination."
-Sure, the Olympics were canceled this year,
but at least we have the Republicans to show off
some truly spectacular backflips.
[ Laughter ]
Republicans are just constantly changing the rules as they go.
It's like playing a board game with a toddler.
It's like, "I rolled a two and I'm wearing blue, so I win."
[ Laughter ]
And now, because he completely changed his position,
people are calling Mitch McConnell spineless.
Can we see Mitch McConnell?
[ Laughter ]
Spineless? Based on that, I'm pretty sure he's boneless.
[ Laughter ]
We're already in the middle of a global pandemic,
racial unrest, and a cratering economy.
Now there's going to be a fight over an open Supreme Court seat.
At this rate, next week's debate
will be about how to handle the current alien invasion.
[ Laughter ]
2020 really is insane.
To put things in perspective,
the biggest news of 2019 was baby Yoda.
[ Laughter ]
Seriously, this election already felt
like a tense Thanksgiving dinner.
Now it's like your uncle just rolled in straight from rehab.
[ Laughter ]
Trump says he'll announce
his Supreme Court pick Friday or Saturday.
Before he does that, though, he's been calling up
all the finalists to let them know they didn't get the job.
Check out this leaked audio.
-Ted, I can't have someone on the Supreme Court
with a beard like yours.
You look like a college freshman who's experimenting with
his look over winter break,
but even a college freshman knows to shave it off
when the selfie doesn't get enough likes.
Son, I love you, but we can't have someone
on the Supreme Court who has the same energy
as a guy who offers you cocaine
in the bathroom of a Buffalo Wild Wings.
I just think those robes would be too heavy on you, Jared.
Put them on and you'll crumble to the floor
like the Witch from "Wizard of Oz."
MyPillow guy, you are maybe
the smartest person who has ever lived, besides me.
And I think that you could have made a wonderful judge,
presiding over some wonderful pillow-based cases,
but unfortunately you're -- how should I put this? --
a borderline insane man.
Hey, me, it's me calling.
Hello. I love what you do. Big fan. Likewise.
I think you're the most qualified person on Earth
to be on the Supreme Court.
Wow, what an honor to be nominated by you, me.
[ Laughter ]
-And finally, the most important thing Americans can do is vote,
and it looks like we're getting some help from somewhere
you wouldn't expect. Watch this.
-Foot Locker is turning thousands of their stores
into voter-registration sites
just six weeks before the election.
-It's perfect 'cause when a fight breaks out,
there will be 40 people dressed like referees to handle it.