Top of the morning to you laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and
welcome back to Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator.
They've updated the game again, as they do, they keep just
firing out these updates all the time which is awesome because it's more fun for us.
So, I think there's three new units in the game.
This music's loud!
I don't know what I do! In the heroes-- do we? No, that's not the one!
Yeeeees!
They're called "Laser Knights"
but if you have any sort of inkling as to what that is you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm going to leave
it as a surprise. It's gonna be a surprise,
and if you know what it is, then SHHH!
Don't tell everyone else. We're gonna have 250 of them.
It's going to be fucking amazing. We also have a Sci-Fi
section now, we have Tornado Troopers and Mech Walkers. The Mech Walkers look like the things from RoboCop,
but the Tornado Troopers are... Well, you'll see. You'll see, we'll get into it.
You'll see.
*SNIFF*
*SNIFF INTENSIFY*
I smell battle in the air. I smell-- Yes!--
This is what I smell. This is what the Rock smelled cooking that time. Where's the motherfucking Jedis?
Look at those Jedi Motherfuckers-- Well "Laser Knights."
That's a dumb name for them, but you know, copyright and all that. You don't want George Lucas kicking down your door, and -
Well, he doesn't own it anymore. It's Disney.
Um...
You guys look awesome! That one looked a little weird for a second. Mace Windu, is that you? Why can I see through your eyes?
Why can I see through all of your eyes? Do you not have eyeballs?
They don't have eyeballs?! You can see through their heads! Okay,
that's those guys. Now who do we have over Jolly Pop ridge over here?
Yes! Look at you motherfuckers! These guys have laser pistols,
'cause they're Sci-Fi guys.
So what I'm trying to recreate is the fucking Clone Wars over here. We have 250 Jedi, we have a thousand Tornado Soldiers,
and we have a whole day full of lovey gummy drop action!
Go fellas! Use the force!
This is not Star Wars music! Oh, this is fuckin' cool!
By right, I would love to be able to see these guys be able to deflect the lasers,
but I highly doubt that they're actually able to do that.
Oh, the music's kicking up! And these guys are heroes, so they're probably way overpowered.
OH NOHOHOHOHOHO
* Shocked Jack is shocked* *Wilhelm screams*
THEY HAVE WILHELM SCREAMS!!! That's the best addition so far! Oh fuck, yeah! This is amazing!
*Jack laughs*
They're like Stormtroopers dying! It's amazing! Okay, some of my guys have died. Some of the laser guys have died.
Look at them go!
Oh, I like this. I like the color.
I like when stuff has color in it. I'm a big fan of color. Colors! You guys never even stood a chance, did'ya?
Holy fuck, you only killed 24 of them
There's like a couple of little Anakins here in the middle.
I also tried to give the Jedi a disadvantage by fighting on dirt, fightin' on dust, fightin' in the desert
You know why? Because they don't like sand. It's coarse and it gets everywhere.
Okay, my boys.
Just sittin- Can I see your fucking skulls when I'm up this far?
Is that what I'm seeing? I'm seeing the tops of your heads, and I'm seeing your backs 'cause your robes
don't load in, and then I get down and you're like, "Oh, we have robes!"
Don't fuckin' worry about it- Still don't know why I can see through your skulls.
But! You guys are going up against the top tier of Sci-Fi tech mech warrior action!
They're so good, they live inside each other apparently.
You guys should be able to defeat them, they're only made out of Kevlar. That's fine, a fuckin' lightsaber will
go through that no problem. Zoom-zoom. That's good. That's, goody gumdrops. Okay, fight!
Oh, mother of fuckin' Jesus!
I didn't know they had giant fuckin' laser...
mortars!
It's okay, it's fine, it's cool! You're not dead yet! Kill a few of them- oooooh...
Dropping like piles of shite comin' out of a man's arse after he's had spicy food.
You didn't him even kill one of them!
You guys suck! Call yourselves Jedi - uh, Laser Knights!
More like laser shites!
Nice pants though.
They make the sound!
That's cooool!
Really we should kill something.
S'just a never-ending battle. They killed them all... Even the younglings! Ahaha!
You guys are fuckin' fabulous though.
Battle formations!
Everybody in position! I wanna put some medieval motherfuckers up against these guys.
Up against my Jedis. It's going to be a fuckin' fight to remember- Why is your unit like this when everything's 1.5...
...one
Now you're just gunna fuckin' do me like this? You're gonna be a weirdo? I don't get it.
I don't get it! It's not like there's more of you. There's a thousand in each. Whatever! We'll fuckin' do it live!
Um... and then some medieval... heavy knights? Heavy knights? Heavy knights? I don't know?
Umm...
Yeah.
Thousand of them and...
Five hundred of you- Cuz I don't fucking know!
I don't know how strong these are gonna be, okay? They could be...
monstrously
unstoppable. They could be the force... They could bring balance to the force!
You don't fuckin' know. Do you know? No, you pretend like you fuckin' know,
but you don't! I have to stretch you out so you're all in the back. There we go.
There we go, and the Jedi... you guys are goin' to have to split out as well. There's 500 of ye
So if I you put you in five formation that should be a line of ones, then, right? Is math good? Math good in brain?
I'm just going to fuckin' do it. We're just going to get in and do it and everyone's going to clash.
Like... It'll be like that band... 'The Clash'.
Wait, you're in for an uproarious day! Today's weather: mostly sunny with some sun!
Okay, that wasn't a line of ones, but that's, that's good enough. That's fine anyway. Oh, look at this!
This is like the fucking battle for Minas Tirith!
This is awesome!
Where are your bows though? Oh, they're in your hands, what am I - I'm a fuckin' idiot. Never mind.
How are you guys doing, y'all good? How are you going to block...
lightsabers with those piddly little swords? Huh?
Oh, yeah!
This is just a rave going on up here. It's not actually Jedis with lightsabers,
They're wannabe Jedis, but they just look like ravers with their giant glow sticks.
FIGHT!!
This is going to be fuckin' AWESOME!! *voice crack*
Yes...
'Cause the Jedis count as "heroes", which means they're slightly stronger than regular men, as you can fuckin' see - OH MY GOD!!
*laughs*
That's the best! Oh, Jesus!
You guys might as well have been made out of fuckin' popcorn! Just - *makes lighstaber sounds* Wait, let's hear the sound.
That's the real shit right there!
Oh, no!
OH, NO! You guys are so weak!!
*adorable laugh*
Oh, you don't die when you go flying, some of you come back into the fight! *laughs*
Aw, that's so good.
I don't think any of them have died yet, any of my Jedis.
Nope!
They're all still alive, it's fine.
*laughs*
Okay, I'm going to right click to possess one of them and we're going to go around the back.
Hello, excuse me. No, no problem!
*another adorable laugh*
Oh, the guys go flying, it's so fun!
Okay, now you're just going to start attacking these fools.
DIE!!
Oh yes!
Oh, that's the shit. That's the real shit right there!
Yeah, now you can just go and have fun on your own.
Oh, never mind. *laughs*
They never stood a fuckin' chance!
I'm sorry, guys. I thought that was somewhat of a fair fight. There was 3000 versus 500!
I thought...
I thought that you'd kill a lot of them - wait...
Enemies killed: 2999.
So... Did one of them go flying and die on his own?
I don't know, but there's a nice archer carpet down over here.
I want to try something fun. I've never done something like this before.
Um...
We'll make you all fight...
No no no no no no no no no no, ONE. Okay, you're going to be like this.
So I have 500 laser knights again, but they're all going to be in formation like this.
They're all going to be separate teams. Well, they're all going to be the same team.
You know what I mean, I'm gonna make you all five. So one two three four five. Yeah, so this should still be 500.
Yes... And then we wrap these guys all around these.
Because I've never done that, I've never actually wrapped them all around to see what it would be like
when a circle of them comes in and they all work their way towards the middle.
All I know is that it's going to be fuckin' epic!
Let me see it. Give it to me! I want to be able to see my dudes!
Yeah... Well it's not perfect because you can't do a circle of them, but... you guys should be very afraid.
oh
Yeah, the pentacon of Jedi are about to come towards you and Fox and boys
You guys are so cool. I love the colors going on I
Know I'm a big fan of color so this is really cool
Can I see your faces though all right? I want to get I want to get an eagle eye view with this one. Oh
Yeah
God
That's so awesome. I've never seen them spread out like that before
It's so pretty
It's almost like a flower
That's fascinating to watch I
Mean you're off get me fucking slaughtered fucking stuff. Oh
You should just hide the back
To take off the weak one what kind of shape you make you make it a snare
Which is what I would hope it would make
But I think it's cool because now you can see that
Maybe these guys are a bit further away because the soldiers had to go further to those and then the ended up wrapping around
That or they were closer and more guys went that direction. I don't know. I just love watching her the aie
Figure shit out look at all you poor bastard. Oh
thats s..."HAHAHA"
What's the fly over the top all rigid? It's the fucking back wait wait wait wait wait
You go round today
oh
my dude
Okay, what happens if we go? Yeah? There's that's perfect, but as I said that I died sighs ah
Ha ha ha ha this guy is having a bad day this guy has spoken pain, written all over him, please
someone kill me
oh
Fucking good. Tell Sonny this case air time
Kobe is that actually Gonna kill you are you dead now
Think he's actually okay. I'm not seeing a buddy oh a darius. He did ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah
Whatever about funny Wacky physics slow-motion funny Wacky physics are even better. Let's go to Lake half-speed
Area 14.4 times
On it the summer softer Soak in the bedroom
One of my favorite comedic gags is watching people leave an inter frame
It's just so good
Wait, how are you guys doing? That's what I wanted to see I wanted to see everything like coalesced in the middle
because though you're flying ours up that's what happened to a group of them back there a bunch of them got flown out over the
Tops of the Jedi had to come back
Okay, I'm bored everyone died
Wow
That's so cool. It was on this day
But the Jedi won out over evil
execute order 66
other Star Wars means
Sort of ultimate Epic battle simulator. I'm not doing about this yet
There is a lot more fun to be had with Jedi's fighting stuff
And I have a whole slew of other dudes now like mech warriors. I've laser pistol do der fighters
It would be so cool. If the Jedi could fire back the lasers, but I get it
That's too much processing for the game to do de Miracles the game runs at all
With the amount of characters that are on screen voice
I
Don't know this game just has an endless amount the fun in it and I looked out that those actual physics of dudes played in
The air that's so awesome, but for now
Thank you guys so much watching this episode if you liked it punch that like button in the face...
...like a boss! and high fives all around.
Thank you guys. And I'll see all you dudes...
..In the next video!
Do it.