TERRI: Let's talk about connecting, like how do you
speak so people want to listen? How in the world do you get
people to desire to listen to you? Well, the
short answer is with sandpaper. I'll explain.
TERRI: Hey, I'm Terri Savelle Foy, your cheerleader
of dreams. You know, any time someone asks
me how I went from living paycheck to paycheck, in debt,
out of shape, no dreams or goals for my life, I mean, literally
went from ghost writing books to authoring books, attending
conferences to speaking at conferences, and from watching
TV to hosting a TV show, I always say it boils down to one
word; routine. I changed my routine and it drastically
changed my life. One of the biggest changes I made to my
daily routine was listening to inspirational messages that
pointed my life in the right direction. So I want to ask you
to subscribe to this podcast so you get consistent inspiration
and coaching to help you live your dreams. In fact, today I
want to offer you something I've never done quite like this
before, it's a free three-part email series on the Leadership
Connection Method. You know, they say the quickest way and
the cheapest way to learn is from someone else's mistakes,
right. Well, this special email series will be a shortcut to
help you live your dreams. I'm going to show you how to access
that free series in just a minute, but first, let's talk
about connecting, like how do you speak so people want to
listen? How in the world do you get people to desire to listen
to you? Well, the short answer is with sandpaper. I'll explain.
You know, Maya Angelou made this statement, she said, "People
will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel." Well, in
Luke 19:14, God tells us to do business until he comes back,
right. I heard T.D. Jakes say, "The order is clear." He said,
"We're not supposed to sit around, we're not supposed to
wait. God wants us to take action now. We have to build
businesses and churches and products that are answers to
someone's prayers." Well, we also have to learn how to
connect with people so they want to listen, they want to do
business, they want to attend our church, be on our team, use
our services, be our friends, right. Well, the number one way
you speak so people want to listen is with your story. You
know, Vanessa Van Edwards said the shortcut to connection is to
be a storyteller. Well, let me just tell you, did you know that
some of your best experiences come wrapped in sandpaper? What
I mean by this is, the times you were hurting, you were in pain,
you struggled, you cried, you wanted to give up, you were
treated wrong, in other words, you were rubbed the wrong way,
right, your best stories come wrapped in sandpaper. Your
struggles are what connect you with people. That's what causes
people to want to listen to you. I can't help but think about the
first time I actually spoke to young people. I was not a public
speaker, I was not a minister, I had no desire to do that. I was
a ghost writer. I liked being behind the scenes, I had no
intention of being in front of people. Well, years ago, my mom
was speaking at a church in Birmingham, Alabama, and she
called me one day, and she said, "Terri, would you go with me on
this meeting?" And she said, "They want to do like a mother
daughter thing, where they're bringing all the young girls in,
and they're going to have a Friday night girls' night." She
said, "I was just thinking maybe you'd want to talk to the young
girls." I was like, "About what? What in the world would I talk
to these girls about?" My mom goes, "Oh, just tell them how
you were a cheerleader all through school, you were the
homecoming queen, you love God, you were on the National Honor
Society. Just how Christian girls can be popular, too."
That's what she said. I'm on the other end of the phone, I said,
"Mom, what you said is true, but," I said, "I got pregnant
before I got married," and my mom goes, "Oh, yeah. Well, if
you feel comfortable," she said, "you could share that story." I
was like, "I don't want to share anything." Well, I prayed about
it, and I was like, "Lord, do you want me to go and tell this
story," and I felt like I was supposed to. So I flew to
Birmingham, Friday night, we get to this church and it is packed
out with teenage girls, hundreds of them, and I am so nervous,
and I'm ... I was praying so hard that God would give me the
strength to tell this story because I wasn't used to ever
telling this story. It was one of those things you just want to
kind of hide. Well, I started my message out. I said, "Girls, I
just want you to know," I said, "I was a cheerleader all through
school, I was the homecoming queen, class favorite girl, I
was Miss Crowley High School." I said, "I even dated the
quarterback," and they're just looking at me, sizing me up and
down, like, "You can leave now." They were grossed out, right.
Then all of a sudden I said, "But I will never forget, one
night in Lubbock, Texas, my senior year of college, right
before I graduated," I said, "I'm laying in my floor,
scribbling in my journal, 'I want to die.'" They're all
looking at me like, why? You were like happy-go-lucky girl,
why would you want to die? I said, "Because I had just found
out that I was pregnant before marriage," and I said, "My dad's
a well-known preacher. Here I am, trying to live a good life
but I'm hiding a lot of pain, hiding a lot in front of
everybody," and I said, "I'm wanting to die." I said, "Let me
back it up. I'll never forget going to the grocery store,
buying the pregnancy test, knowing that, you know, what if
I run into somebody who knows me from class and they know I'm not
married, or worse, they know who my dad is and they see me buying
this pregnancy test?" And then I said, "I remember going home to
my apartment, taking the pregnancy test," and I said, "I
will never forget how hard my heart was beating, waiting for
the results to appear, and when that test stick showed a plus
sign," I said, "it didn't just show that I was pregnant. It
revealed to me, you are worthless. You are the biggest
disgrace of the Savelle family. You have humiliated your
father's ministry. That's what that positive sign showed me,"
and I said, "That's why I was laying in my floor, writing, I
want to die." I said, "I'll never forget finally confronting
it, writing a letter to my parents, and telling them, 'You
should disown me. I don't deserve a wedding. I don't
deserve you, to be in this family. You can disown me if you
want.' I'm bawling through the whole letter, sent that to my
parents." I said, "Then, when I got the phone call, knowing my
dad had read the letter, and I pick up the phone, and my dad's
in England, on the other side of the world, and he says, 'Hey,
Terri, it's your Daddy,' and I just start bawling, going,
'Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Daddy.'" I'm
bawling doing my whole presentation, the whole message.
Well, everybody in the crowd was bawling, too. Well, let me just
tell you, the altar was filled with young women, by the end of
that message, crying, making decisions to change their lives,
to stay pure, to get closer to God, to not let that be their
story. Well, they told me later, they sold more cassette tapes
back then of that message than any message Kenneth Hagin had
ever sold at that church. Why? Because all these parents are
buying the message for daughters, their sons. Stories
are what connect you with people. If I had just told them
I was cheerleader, homecoming queen, we wouldn't have had a
connection. But, see, it was the sandpaper story. The times that
I was in pain, the times that I struggled, that's what causes
people to connect with you. So what is your story that people
need to hear? Rick Warren said, "Your most effective ministry
will come out of your deepest hurts." He said, "Other people
are going to find healing in your wounds." He said, "Your
greatest life message and your most effective ministry will
come from your deepest hurts, the things you're most
embarrassed about, you're most ashamed of. The things you're
most reluctant to even want to tell people, those are the very
tools that God can use most powerfully to heal others."
You've heard people say, "Your mess becomes your message. Your
misery becomes your ministry." Well, if you want to connect
better with people, it's through story, and if you're a public
speaker, or you desire to be a public speaker, you know, they
say 41% of the world is terrified of speaking
opportunities and they turn it down. Well, public speaking is
just about a conversation from your heart about something
you're passionate about. You know, Princess Diana, she
reportedly said she was so afraid of public speaking, and
she just wished she had the gift that Prince Charles had, of just
making people laugh. Well, her mentor told her, he said, "Just
connect with your heart," he said, "Your vulnerabilities,
your mistakes, your failures, that's what causes people to
connect with you." That's why she was called the People's
Princess, right, we connected with her vulnerabilities. Well,
it's the same with you. You have a story, and I want you to
connect better. I want to help you with this. I want you to get
this free three-part email series to help you succeed in
life, in business, and in relationships, that will lead
you to your dreams, and I believe you're going to enjoy
this. I'll tell you how to get it in just a second, but first,
our YouTube subscriber this week is Sonya Cruz Garcia. Let's see
what she says. Sonya said, "Hi, Terri. I'm a new subscriber to
your channel. I've been listening to many of your
videos. The first time I listened to you, your message
went straight to my heart." I love that. "Everything that you
were teaching was my truth. Thank you for your teachings,"
and then she says ... Oh, man, I don't speak Spanish, I don't
know how to say this, but I think it means blessings in
Spanish. But Sonya Cruz Garcia, thank you so much, and that
blesses me because you're saying that it went straight to your
heart, and we just talked about how stories are what connect you
with people, from your heart. So thank you, Sonya, and I want to
encourage you to subscribe to this channel if you haven't
already, and I want to help you with this. You know, this week,
like I said, I'm giving you a three-part series on the
Leadership Connection Method. Now, I've broken this down in
three different emails that you will get over the course of the
next few days. In order to live your dreams and fulfill your
assignment, there is one thing you must master, and that's
connecting. So I want you to just click the link the
description or go to terri.com/connection to enroll
in my free three-part series on the Leadership Connection
Method. And remember, for more consistent motivation, follow me
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handles below, or click that little red subscribe button for
weekly videos to make this your best year yet. Thanks for
watching, and remember, I'm cheering you on.