{English CC by Samuel Cheffins}
*Overwatch music*
[VO: Day two at Funhaus was even better than the first,
although one terrible secret almost ruined
my entire perception of the channel...]
STEVEN: Oh my god...
STEVEN: You're blind!
[Their editor, Erin, was blind.]
ELYSE: Take me to lunch!
JAMES: She doesn't know.
JAMES: We try and keep it a secret from her.
[I couldn't believe what they were doing to poor Elsa.]
STEVEN: Margaret! Margaret!
[After a couple hours of leading blind Patrick around the office,
we decided to go out for lunch,
and as a sign of trust and friendship,
I let Bruce drive me there in my car.]
STEVEN: You ever driven one of these before?
BRUCE: Yes.
[That was the second thing Bruce
ever said to me, the first being...]
[Sure, they may do a gaming channel,
but you'd be surprised to know they
actually talk about a lot of different topics.]
[After providing me with a bean and cheese burrito
yesterday for my tech work, Bruce and Rooster Teeth
decided to pay for a whole burger!]
A̙̦͇͎ͫ̆͌͊ͨ͢͞ ̶̹̫̯̣̠̭̞̝͓̾͂̿ͭ̂̑̚̚̕W̰̠̃ͤ͛ͨ̔ͯ͘H̝̘̖͎͍̖͖̆̾̃̚͢ͅỜ̺̫̼͎͙̝̬̫͉̄ͥͦ̓͋̍̚͠L̴̛͖̟̳͈̥̻̓͟Ȇ͙̙͎͖̯̰̰ͤ͒̽͟͠ ̷̮̼͖̺̘ͮ̒̍̄͋͊͆́̀B̪̥̲͔̖̻̙̾ͭ͑ͥ̈͛͑̍͘Ŭ̷̩̯͖̙͕̻ͥ̍̏͒́R̡̃͗͌͋ͣ҉҉̥͓̫̤̝Ĝ̛̛͚̳ͧ̈́̌͛̈͗̿͘Ê̡͇̘̺͈̓̽̐ͭ̐̀̉͢ͅR͚͍ͮ̓
[Since I'm a bit of a car cuck,
I decided to let Adam drive my car as well!
When we made it back to the office,
I looked around for the gift I had given him
the other day:
"We Bought A Zoo" on DVD.
But what comes next breaks my heart...]
[I could tell by Edna's face
something was terribly wrong.]
[That's when I broke Funhaus's rule:
mingling with outsiders.]
STEVEN: Anyone out here seen, like, on Blu-ray,
STEVEN: "We Bought a Zoo"?
STEVEN: The movie "We Bought a Zoo"
STEVEN: with Matthew Damon?
STEVEN: I just -
STEVEN: I gave it to them in there
STEVEN: and then they said they gave it to
STEVEN: someone out here.
STEVEN: And it's -
STEVEN: I'm on a trail to find the movie
STEVEN: with Matthew Damon in it?
STEVEN: "We Bought a Zoo" with Matthew Damon in it?
STEVEN: Nobody out there knew.
[But it was already too late.
I'd broken Funhaus's number one rule:
mingling with the outsiders.]
[Sure, I may have lost the job,
but I also lost some friends.
Speaking of friends, my friend Parker,
who I put in charge of shipping out all of my posters,
STILL
hasn't shipped them out.
So I paid him a little visit at his home.]
STEVEN: Stop! Stop!
[That's when I remembered the situation
that happened a couple days ago,
when we all thought Jeremy
murdered Parker in the desert!]
STEVEN: You're back!
STEVEN: Uh... the poster, though...
H̙͍̝̏͝A̗̤̪̹ͭ̉H͂̐ͫ҉͙̫̱̩̤͉A͉̮̲̮͕̝ͬ͐̾H̵̗̥̼̥͈̱̄͆̊͌̅̄ͥ́A̷͈̲͓̩̥̬̲̓ͮH̪̬͓̦͐͛̋A̶̢͍̼͚̻͍̍̋H̶̢̬̹̝̗̘ͦ̽̊̄̚͞A͇̻̞̘̘̟̭͉ͧ̏͢͞H͉͍̙̎̆̐̏̏͒̑ͨ͑A̶̢̯̤ͤ̓̒̀̋̇͞
[Afterwards, we got some coffee at a local joint,
which is when I started to realize
that something wasn't right with Jeremy and Parker.
I couldn't tell exactly what it was,
but Jeremy seemed a little off...
kind of like a pervert.
And as I drove away,
Parker's face warned me of impending doom.
But I don't know!?!1!]
[Next stop, my friend Gizzy and Shelby's apartment.]
STEVEN: Wow, you just keep it unlocked?
GIZZY: Yeah, usually.
STEVEN: Nice home.
GIZZY: You've been here before.
STEVEN: I'm here for one reason and one reason only...
[The other day, when I asked Cib about his pet fish...]
STEVEN: I had, uh, a couple questions...
STEVEN: regarding your fish.
STEVEN: I was just curious how he's doing.
CIB: She.
CIB: She. [He responded with:]
CIB: How - we'll talk about that later?
STEVEN: Okay, yeah we'll talk about it later, dude.
STEVEN: Fun bro. Fun friends.
STEVEN: This is one of my fun friends.
[I had to see Turtle the fish for myself.]
STEVEN: Is it dead?!?
STEVEN: Hey, he actually looks a lot -
STEVEN: Ohhhh!!!! He moved!!!!
SHELBY: She.
[My job here was done.]
[On the way back from my friend's,
I stopped by the SourceFed office
just to see what happened to it.
I looked through the windows like a creep;
it was pretty barren inside.
The whitewall room was also kind of a bummer.
But who knows.
Maybe something big will come out someday.
Or something small.
Or maybe just something right there in the sweet spot.
Or maybe something less than that.
Or more.
Or maybe nothing at all.]
*AWW NO DUDE*
{English CC by Samuel Cheffins}